Thursday, 19 October 2017

THERE IS LIGHT AT THE TOP OF THIS MOUNTAIN!

Hello everyone,

Almost a year since I have done an entry.  Haven't meant to do that.  Just every time I would go to write, my eye would not be co-operating.  Apologies for being away again for so long.  Many have been checking in and for that I am happy that all kept utilising this blog to help motivate with your own 'stuff' issues in a positive ongoing way.

Also, I wanted to write when I finished under the carport.  This has been achieved at long last.

Well, the carport is 99.9% done.

Just a few straggly bits to be dealt with, but is now being used for it's original intent. To park cars under it!

Have been sharing my journey on my personal Facebook page and will try and retrieve these post to share here to catch you all up with what has taken place this last year.

I have not been idle.

Long story short I was granted 2 more sessions from the organisation, which got me almost done under the carport.

Since then, my young lad and his friends helped me go through the shed and tools etc.  Later, my gal pals came to help me sort said tools.  These are still being sorted as I type this.  This meant the shed could be used to store any of the items I will sell to try and get any last linger debts out of the way.  Have to try.  As Wendy said, it is best to 'sort and purge' first in full and then go onto 'selling'.  Each leg of this method to be completed to only then go onto the next step.  In my case, it feels like an eternity due to the sheer scale I had to deal with.

Earlier this year my daughter, son and son-in-law did put on a belated 60th birthday party, which turned into an event and all did, those that could, gave gift money to help me with certain projects.  The generosity surprised me and enabled me to get many medical things done that I could not afford, along with more sessions with Wendy the expert.  I had enough to pay for 8 more sessions.

Due to this since March this year, we have finished with all that was left under the carport.  We even started on the difficult areas of certain kitchen cupboards.

However, a spanner has been thrown into these ongoing works and my son who had moved out only months before has to move back along with the house friend with whom he shares with, as they have another rental next year lined up, but have to move now.  I will fill the gap.

One problem.  I had used that room for my overflow and there was still the attic to get to.

Since then, we have emptied the attic and now in a mess for the very last time.  This time most of what I am going through and sorting is my items.  Culling is not difficult, but is sure is interesting opening boxes that were sealed early 2008.

It is quite something else to view your life from 10 years before.  Most revealing.

Will share some photos of this last years journey in the next few 'catch-up' entries with you all and will do my best get on here to let you know more frequently how I am tracking.  I have now reached the top of this mountain almost 10 years on and now slowly on my way down this mountain, taking time to enjoy the view at the various stages of this descent.

On a side note I have had a story published this last week about my plight in a magazine that is national here in Australia.  I did not write it and got no recompense for it either, but I did say I wanted it to be a positive outlook on this plight that many do suffer or encounter during their lifetime.  The writer did take some 'artistic' liberties of which I let slide as the article itself did display empathy and was positive, which was my one and only request.  Will share this after the catch up.

I must say I cannot believe I am finally making it through this mass of stuff.  I keep pinching myself to not stop as I am not there just yet.  I cannot lose focus and momentum.  Easy to do when nearing the end of a marathon run.  I do not wish to fall down now when ever so close to the finish line.

I was hoping to be done by 28 October, which will be 10 years since my beautiful and most gorgeous Mum passed away.  I know deep down she would be happy with how I have done this.  Honouring all that she valued without me having to live amongst all either.  With this knowledge we both can rest easy soon.

Life is finite.  I plan to make the most of what is left, whatever that measure may be.

Even though life has been brutally tough going, I also have come to realise, I am incredibly fortunate to have such wonderful children and friends who have emotionally supported me through these years.  All know how grateful and appreciative I am of that support.

I did take time out for a mini holiday in 19 years and can see now how essential that has been for my mental well being.  Has not solved any of my issues at hand.  Just coping a little better for sure.

I have had the time to reconnect even more with 'fun', 'friendship' and 'family'.

Love those 'f' words.

Next you will see any or all of my Facebook posts for that catch-up.  This will assist to keep the thread of my journey to make sense.  Well, at least for me.

Don't forget, if you have the issue of 'stuff', be kind to yourself and do what you can on that day.  Anything out is out and celebrate that.  If you know someone who is knee deep, then offer to help by taking them out for a cuppa and chat.  And if it is all too hard, just take note from my journey, that plodding away does eventually get you there in the end.  The tortoise did win in the end.

So slow and steady as I go.

Ciao for now
Anita in a more hopeful mood

Tuesday, 1 November 2016

"I'M B A A - A C K!"

Hi Guys,

I'm back... ... ...














                              



What can I say other than it has been a long long arduous last year.





Last time I wrote about decluttering my 'stuff' was 7 November 2015.  Seems like a life time ago now.





Nothing could have prepared me for what I have been through.










However, I am lucky to still be here and for that I am very grateful.






I AM BACK AND BOY AM I HAPPY ABOUT THAT!







Time has flown by at times and other times it has dragged.





There is some good news and some not so good news.






First ~ I have had the operation.  And all did not go as to plan.






Second ~ I have still been decluttering ever so slowly.





Third ~ life can suck, but, oh is it ever so sweet.  Stuff or no stuff.






Where to start.  At the start I suppose!










Basically, life was altered forever after and even though one health issue was resolved and corrected, I had another created spinning me into a whole new direction altogether.  Sometimes, no matter how bad it seems at the time, it can end up okay.






This change I did not embrace at the time at all.  My life was literally flipped over completely in that one second.

Since then (then being 1 March this year), I had to adjust every facet of my day to day living.  Life certainly can throw curve balls when you least expect it.  And I had not anticipated anything like this.  I had made plans that where shut down that day by what took place.  I am generally optimistic and flexible person most of the time.  However, this time, I was knocked over by what happened and so I cried for a few months till I began to come to terms with it and slowly climbed my way back up from the hole I had hurtled into.  When ever that 'up' was to happen and still only halfway up out of that hole.

So.  Here I am.  I got through Christmas 2015.

My 60th birthday comes and goes, as I am weeks away from the operation to mend my bones and hip to quell the excruciating pain I feel, regardless of the heavy duty killers that I had now lived on for the last 18 months.  I decided I would celebrate later once I was on the mend.  Little did I know of what was to come.

The date for my surgery was 25 February, a Thursday, earlier this year and by this stage my friend had to wheel me in.

I was overwhelmed with trepidation.  I don't know why, as previously, I have handled some serious operations and procedures in the past.  This time, I just did not feel so confident.

It had to be done.  There was no choice.  I was going to end up unable to walk anyway if I did not proceed.

The afternoon surgery lasted 5 hours.

The pain medication wore off after a few hours, I came too and the pain hit me like a truck.  I was in agony.  After the pain meds were under control, I never really recovered.  I have tolerated these meds in the past.  This time, I was vomiting and just not quite right.  The good news was, it was not cancer that had caused the hole that blasted it's way through my left pelvic hip bone from the ball socket joint from the inside out right through to the other side with bone fragments and bits.  I was thankful it was over, albeit, feeling so ill.  I thought at the time, this too shall pass.

However, I began to experience headaches on the one side near my temple a couple of days after the surgery.  What with vomiting and the constant now headache, I told the doctors about them the next day on their early morning rounds at around 6.30am.  It was 1 March, a Monday.  They were concerned and told me to immediately let them know via the nurses if I noticed 'ANY' changes no matter how insignificant.

After the doctor's rounds, I was taking a shower around 9am and while in said prone situation, I experienced what can only be described as horrific.  I immediately thought I was having a massive stroke of some kind.  In my right eye, I saw huge white explosions that looked like fireworks up close and far too personal.  I felt no pain at the time.  Once the explosions subsided, I realised quick smart that I was blind in that eye.  And then I began to feel all sorts of things that I wont go into right now as it would take too long.  Suffice to say, I fumbled for the nurses button as best I could whilst wet and naked and did my best to cover myself and finish rinsing my hair.  The next few hours, days and months were harrowing to say the least.

At the time I experienced what I had experienced, I honestly thought I was going to die.

What I went through, does not need to be expanded here any further, other than to say, I have ever since been on one big roller coaster ride like no other.

How could this happen.  I came into the hospital fully sighted and now to leave blind in one eye after coming in for a bone graft and hip replacement operation!  What the!!!

Apparently, I suffered an extremely rare complication from the hip replacement component of my surgery.  An embolism of bone marrow with bone dust trapped within that embolism would normally disperse in time after surgery.  In my case it did not.  It could have found its way into any part of my body that could have killed me or rendered me goodness knows what.  My embolism chose the back of my right eyes retina to cause havoc.  Basically, the microscopic bone dust found it's way into the smallest of small dead end blood vessels in that one retina.  I wont go into the medical details of the process or my journey since, other than to say, it is called 'Purtscher's Retinopathy'.  Even the most senior Opthomologist's I have seen had no clue about it as they had never seen a case before.  Only read about it.

Nothing could be done. Nothing! Other than time to see if it would come good, or come good partially, or remain as bad as it was from the moment it happened.

In my case, it only partially came good.  Like a little bit.  According to the charts and what is allowed I was told I would be able to drive with the aid of special lenses for that eye.  The trouble is it will take this process between one to two years.  My progress is slow.  My brain has to adjust to this sudden loss.  I am learning to see again, as what and how I see has vastly altered, to what I was accustomed to.

Ever since this unwanted blast in the back of my eye, I have had a headache 24/7.  Most days my ability to concentrate and see is best in the morning and then deteriorates by the afternoon.  Depending on what I have to do I now have migraines on a regular basis.  This does not stop.  Then there is the double and triple vision once my eyes fatigue.

In the meantime, while I was coping and coming to terms with all of this, I had physio and rehab to deal with.  On top of that my leg was weak from the massive cut due to the bone graft that I had.  I could feel the bone graft knitting and it was an odd sensation and quite painful.  But, in a good way.  I am now walking better and the pain has gone on that side.  All I have to deal with is the lower back pain and right hip burning.  Small price to pay.  The major pain at least on the left was gone.

I now have to use a cane due to this eyesight issue.  I have now bumped the right side of my head so much that I think I have knocked sense into it.  A few months after I burnt my right arm severely due to 'not seeing' that particular spot.  All a learning curve.

I have had to get special glasses with a special lense for that eye only.  Looks very odd,  But, what the hey.  I need all the help I can get.  I need several pairs and have to get them one at a time as the cost of all this has blown right out.  And on top of this it has stopped my plans from gaining the work I so wanted as I cannot do the job I wanted as it involves, yes, driving.  Cannot win.

At least I am alive.

Then the sorrow I felt at the loss of my eyesight and what that meant.  I grieved and cried and cried some more.

I found it hard to find my way back.

I lost my positivity.  I lost a lot.  I lost my spark.  I lost my hope.

I had to force myself to not got down any further.  But, at each turn I was being hit down even further.

Out of all this some good things started to happen.

And that brings me to my stuff.  The decluttering of my abundant still ever present cumbersome stuff.

Due to having traded my one health issue for another out of the blue, I have had to accept help in assorted areas and has meant I have come into contact with a variety of professionals and charitable organisations.  It has been a process and one leads onto another and collectively means I have received help to get to where I have thus far since the surgery.  Again, I will reiterate, every little bit helps right now.

I wont name the places or people, but the people, some of whom are social workers or specialists in their fields have come and assessed my situation and so on and long story short, out of one of these many meetings and gatherings, I was offered limited funding to help with the 'stuff' that was still outside under my carport and the little shed in the backyard to help alleviate at least one of my many stresses.

I was hesitant at first.  After much thought, I knew I needed that help.  What would it hurt.

This professional who does this for a living, visited to discuss what I had already achieved so far and what I thought needed to be done and where I wanted to get to and how to go about it.

We decided to start with the shed as that could then be used to house any items to be sold on eBay or at a local Sunday market.  My view was that those items would not re-enter the house.  What did not get sold went to charity.

I was granted six 3 hour sessions and we got stuck into it in late May.

The system we used for me to get through the items was easier than I had anticipated.  She sorted through each box methodically placing the items in sorted piles in front of me while I sat at a table tossing said items into tubs placed around me.

A tub for rubbish or too far gone for any good use.

A tub for charity with items still in a good and reasonable state and clean.

A tub for items that were to be given to other persons.

A tub for items I could sell.

A tub for what I wanted to keep.

My professional friend placed the items from each box on the table in a manner that made it easy for me to go through.  As a tub filled it was replaced with a fresh one.  All rubbish and charity items were  then placed into her car at the end and taken away that day.  We also used my bin.  Only the items to be kept were taken inside.  I have taken items from inside out to the shed also since.  I have culled more items in these months on the inside as well to go to charity.

It is the paperwork and the 'little' itty-bitty items that are the most time consuming.

But this system works for me.

After each session there were boxes of papers to go through that I could do after she left that I could get done by the next session.  This saved time and maximised my time with her expertise.

Being outside, the weather played a factor in when we could work on the boxes.

It took 4 sessions to get the boxes in the shed finished.

The remaining 2 sessions we got stuck under the carport.  I had done a lot in the 8 years, but there was still a bit more to go.  I had said previously I was running out of puff.  I will share photos once I finish under there to show just how much has been achieved over those years.  At the moment, I am just concentrating on working through it for now.

What was left under the carport is on two sides, that I refer to as 'the fence side' and the other 'the porch side', which is up against the house.  We started on 'the porch side'.  I had stacked the boxes and items on pallets to keep off the ground.  I knew much would have perished, but I had found that a surprising amount was still okay due in part to thankfully having put these boxes on top of the pallets so they were off the ground.

Eventually my six sessions were up.

I didn't know how I was going to finish, but at least much had been chucked out and a dint had been made at long last.

Also, there were six, full to the brim and roof top of a normal size car, including front seat, back seat and boot of stuff that had gone forever never to be seen or touched again by me.  Not to mention, the other extra stuff I had farmed out since, gave to others, tossed in the bin and the council hard rubbish collection held in August that had the nature strip filled once again.

On the fence side, I can now see most of the fence.

On the porch side, I can now see the bricks of the house and light through to the front of the house.

I am eager to complete this task under the carport finally after 8 plus years.

Only then will all be revealed with said promised photos.

After the carport is sorted, then it will be the 'inside' of the house's turn to methodically go through the stuff and decide on what I want to keep only.

I have taken many photos of items that I wish to remember, but no longer need.  I have found that to be most helpful for me at least.

I cannot say, how much this professional woman has helped me.  She made this process so pleasurable and so easy going.  She took the time to allow me to process what I needed to when emotions bubbled up.  This was not often as there was much more laughter than there were tears.

I found treasures and gems that I thought were lost.

Some precious and irreplaceable papers perished.  However, less than I feared.

Going through my stuff that had been held in a kind of stasis for so long, like a time warp, reminded me of how far I had come since both my Mum and sister passed away.

There were also a few boxes of my parents in the mix, which also served to help me appreciate them even more.  Letting go is bittersweet, but it also turned out to be a healing process as well for me.

And last, but not least, there were many things from my big sister that were so wonderful to find.  Items I can use.  Things to remember that make me happy.  Looking back is not such a bad thing sometimes.

Anyway, I was making very slow progress once my six sessions were up and within a few weeks, due to the fact that I was so pro-active in my decluttering, the organisations that helped me with the funding, and along with the professionals advice, that it would be helpful to finish the job under the carport, I was pleasantly surprised by being called to be told that I was being rewarded with three more 3 hour sessions.  I had tears of joy.  I get to get more done with her help than on my own.  Finally, something wonderful, instead of more pain.

We have now had two of these further sessions and in a week will be the last of those granted.

The porch side is now half way or more at least and I am hoping we will have that side almost or completely dealt with and sorted.  That is my hope.

Then it is the fence side only.  Facing that on my own will be daunting.

My daughter is going to help me with my belated 60th birthday celebration, which I will be holding next year.  I don't want gifts, as I don't want to deal with any more stuff right now.  But, I may ask for donations of cash to cover the hourly rate of the professional, so I can have a chance at getting the rest of what is left under the carport done.  Fingers crossed.

Inside the house wont be so bad.  Just time consuming.

Then there is what is in the attic that I don't think I have mentioned till now.

I just couldn't manage even thinking about it till now.  That was out of sight and out from my mind.  Till now.  Oh, yes, the attic, I promise, that is the last of it.

There you have it.

My last year in all it's brutal glory.

I had stopped for some months after the surgery due to what you know now and slowly I picked myself up and got on with it.  Slowly and ever so slowly I got started again with the decluttering. With what happened to me it meant I got the help I so desperately needed to get on with it.  Had that not happened, I would still be a long way away from where I am now with the stuff.  The relief I will feel will be enormous when it is all finally finished.

I will have projects, but they will be all sorted and together where they need to be so I can finish them at long last.

As for the moving and the pain.  The moving is a lot better, except for the eye.  The one main pain from before is now gone, except for the other pain issues that I can live with like most others do.

Due to the eye issue, it has taken nearly 9 months to get behind the wheel of my car.  I have found being so dependent on others for lifts and assistance very difficult as I don't like to be a bother.  Many have helped me and I have thanked them, but cannot thank them all enough.  My many friends and children have been a Godsend.  My angels.  I may have been unlucky in some ways, but, boy oh boy, am I lucky with all those who have cared enough to give me their time.

Puts everything into perspective.

It will take a long time before I can venture far in the car.  If I find that I can only do short distances.  Then, so be it.  At least I will be able to get the food shopping done at the very least.

Life is far too short, and I will use the saying, to sweat the small stuff.

I am alive.

I am going to live a life with joy, laughter and as much love and friendship that comes my way from now on.

My journey with my stuff is not over yet.  However, I am not going to let it get me down any longer.

It may still take a while, just not as long as I thought originally.

The photo below is of me on my third driving session last weekend.  Please notr that when my son took this photo we were stationary at the time, as when I am driving, it is hands on wheel and full on focus on the road and what is around me.  Then home to lie down for the headache tablets to work.

It's been a long time coming for me to be back on the road again.  Only took 9 months.  Happy doesn't come close to describe how I feel.







Well, there is more, but more than enough.







Remember, be kind to yourself as you work through your stuff.  No point stressing over what you cannot do.  Do one thing and pat yourself on the back.  I have found the momentum has increased now as I do these little purges each day and does add up, as it will for you.

As for me, I have paperwork to go through.

I hope you have not wondered where I have been.  I must say, it did seem like I dropped off the edge of the world.  It is just that it takes me so long to do this typing, as after a while I get double and triple vision and have to stop.  Stop then start again a few days later.  Stop.  Start.  Stop.  Start.  Ever so annoying.  Again, all my learning curve for now.  Is what it is.

Just wanted to let you know, 'I'm back'.

Ciao for now and take care and keep on tossing the stuff out or give your not needed stuff to charity if it is still usable.

Anita
Thankful to still be here.



Saturday, 7 November 2015

SLOW AND STEADY WILL WIN THIS RACE!

Hi Guys,

Since my last entry I have seen the hospital surgeons and have found out that my bone issue in my left pelvic region was a time bomb just waiting to happen.  With a series of events that led to this point of years of wear and tear.  At my ripe old age, I was told I had a birth defect where the ball sat just outside the socket of the pelvic bone.  I had complained since I can remember periodic pain in my left hip.  Now I know why.

Well, no wonder I had been slowed down.

I have been still tossing more stuff, albeit ever more slowly.  Instead of a trickle, it is now down to a very slow drip.  Still adds up and still on it's way out.

The arrangement with my son-in-law is working a treat.  Being that my bin can only take so little, I bag up what I cannot fit and then he picks them up and takes all of it away every few weeks.  Just brilliant and cannot thank him enough.  This help is invaluable and spurs me on to do what I can as I can.  It is this kind of help that will get me across the line one day.

Once I am in for surgery I will be out of action for a minimum of 3 months.  I will be having 3 procedures that can be done in the one surgery.  Bone graft to seal the 4cm hole blasted right through my left pelvic bone, pelvic bone reconstruction so the ball fits nicely and hip replacement.

I will be in for some serious physio.  No lifting for some months I am sure.  I will be having this operation within the next few weeks to months.  After rehabilitation and healing I will be able to speed up the process of decluttering.  I anticipate to be able to do more than I have ever been able to do in a long time.  This I am looking forward to.

As frustrated by this as I am, I have to remain resolute and not allow this set back to stop what little progress I am still managing to achieve.  This is when the power of how one thinks does help.  In the past I had let it get to me.  Now I point blank refuse for that to happen.  Being kind to myself is one thing.  Being positive is even better.  It really does make a difference.  Small or big is better than nothing done.

In regards to me, the good news is they do not think there will be any cancer.  I have decided that even if this turns out to be different I am just going to fight it.  With or without cancer, I still have a huge road ahead of me.  One I intend to make work to be better than before.  One thing I am looking forward to is the thought of  'no constant grinding pain'.  At least that is what I have been told to expect.

I will be MIA (missing in action) for some time over the next few months.

I will be back one day and expect to be able to report my new found energy and ability to get things done.

In the meantime, be kind to yourself when dealing with your stuff.  Know that no matter how little or how long it takes, the more you toss the closer you get to where you need to be, which is clutter free.

I think the pain is getting to me.  I am being far too philosophical.

All good.

See you on the flip side.

Ciao for now.
Anita

Sunday, 4 October 2015

WHAT TO DO WHEN FACING YET ANOTHER MAJOR SET-BACK?

Hi Guys,

Good question.  I have had far too many for my liking.

Anyway, been a few months since you all have heard from me.

And not great news as to why.

First, I did get a few large items out for the Council Hard Rubbish Collection in August.  It was at this time I made plans to bag up any unwanted items as I went through boxes to be collected that would not fit into my weekly bin.  It was proving to be a slow process.  A friend offered to pick up the overflow of rubbish bags to place in a large industrial bin in order to help me speed up the process.  This has proven to be most helpful, but not at the rate I expected due to my ability to move becoming poorer by the month.

Secondly, another friend offered to sell my market items to help me clear them out of my lounge room.  Being that they are doing all the work, we agreed on splitting 50/50 on any of the items sold.  This way we help each other.  Win win as far as I am concerned.  This freed up my lounge room a lot.

Then the proverbial hit the fan.

I got the results and reason behind the pain I had for the last 10 months.

Long story short my pelvic bone has a rather large hole right through it.  Wont go into it now and don't know much more than that and will be seeing a ortho surgeon soon.  I shall know by end of October what is involved and where I head from here.  This means I have to be very very careful as to what I physically do.  No heavy lifting and so on.

After the first surgery I will only know then what I am facing.

This news was a major set-back.  I was gutted.  Bigger than any I have had to face before.  

I so wished my Mum and big sis were here to talk to.  I needed to talk it through.  Fortunately I was able to talk to a few close friends in order to wrap my brain around this news.

After the initial shock, I have come to terms with what is about to take place with all the wonderful advice and kind words and feel I can now face whatever head on.

These constant road blocks pop up that impede the decluttering process.  Life events get in the way.  I had to take a very deep breathe, find my good humour and inner strength that I seemed to have lost.

Slowly finding my way back.

No point complaining.  Just have to get on with it regardless, come what may.

This means my life has been turned upside down.  I know I will be facing bone grafts, months of healing and goodness knows what else.  However, it also means that there is a light at the end of that tunnel.  The prize of being able to once more physically finish this massive decluttering job Mum left me with finally.  All going well.

My brass bed that I acquired before this health issue became more and more difficult to get in and out of and obviously had to go as soon as possible.  I already have another bed set up and my much loved brass bed dismantled ready to sell.  One gorgeous brass bed ends and base coming up for sale on eBay.

I am still managing to get more out, even though it is at a now very slow rate.  I am determined not to let this get me down.  I will not be beaten.

I am sorting through every facet of my life in order to withstand this up and coming year long interruption.  Meaning updating my Will, information known to my two children and even Power of Attorney just in case.  I sound rather grim, but, best to be prepared as my time in hospital and rehab could be goodness knows how long and I still have a home to hang onto.

I am a big believer and superstitious at having things organised.  That way nothing bad will happen.  My superstition and has worked for me in the past.

Not much else I can do really.

I will continue to do what little I can, as much as I can, as long as I can.

I have photos, but not the energy to share them at this time.  These will have to wait.

In the meantime, for those who struggle with clutter, be it large or small, don't let it get you down or stop you.  You can and you will toss the stuff out.  I can promise that once you start you will find your momentum and get the job done.  Mine was such a mammoth one and even bad health is not going to stop me.

I more than likely wont be on here often over the next few months to come, but will check in from time to time.

Stay positive.  Keep your humour.  And above all else be kind to yourself.  I am.

Ciao till next time,
Anita

Wednesday, 8 July 2015

WHAT TO DO WHEN THERE'S STILL MUCH TO DO & NOTHING"S GETTING DONE!

Hi Guys,

Well, hate to say that not much progress has been made.


Main reason being, the procedure I had, that I was hoping to get rid of my pain, got worse since last December, and only partly worked with the lower back and leaving the left hip still in agony, which in turn affects what I can get done.

As in ~ not done.







This is so frustrating.



Trying hard to remember to breathe and hang onto my sense of humour as well as my home.

This was not part of the plan.  I was so on track till this hurdle came my way.




This is when I have to remind myself that there is not much I can do about it other than to keep plugging away to find what the underlying problem is and then find out what can be done to fix it or lessen the pain so that I can move again and get back on track with my clutter and life.  This all takes time.  Also, being on pain killers long term is not ideal.  If one can avoid pain killers, then that would be the best outcome.

Have made small strides during these last months and is better than nothing at all.

But not near enough to make me smile.

The progress I wish to achieve still continues to be just out of my reach.




Being that this winter feels more super cold to me than ever before does not help me to get out under the carport either.  The effort to move is excruciating and in the end all I can do is to concentrate on getting the essentials done barely.

Feeling oh so over not being able to get things done due to this never ending pain cycle.





Days are flying by and am getting worried that I wont get enough done by the end of this year.

In light of what is happening will now be a tall ask.

In the meantime, am right in the middle of the interim period of readjusting the finances.  Will know in the next few months if these measures will be enough to help me limp across the line long enough to hold onto the homestead till the ideal time for me to sell.

The only good news is my weight has stayed steady.  Even though I have stalled in this area of continuing the loss of kilos, and 22 kilos is nothing to sniff at, I plan to get back into the routine, once I get my head space right again, towards that healthier me I need to be.

There are a few more kilos to go and they need to go for good just like the inherited clutter.

All I have to do now is transfer that success of loss of kilos across to the final chapter of my de-cluttering.  And when I look back and remember where I started from with all the stuff, I sure have come a long way.  A friend who came to my home not long after Mum passed away saw the situation I had been landed in and just the other day, now almost 8 years on, reminded me how much I had done and how far I have come.  That meant the world to me and has spurred me on to that ever so close finish line.

However, the pain is the sticking point at this moment in time in getting to said such finish line.

As you can see, every aspect of my life is under fire.  I just have to hang in there.



Not long to go till August for the next council hard rubbish collection to purge more stuff and when my family are free to help with the physical side at this time.  Looking forward to this and cannot happen soon enough.

Brief and sweet this time.

Trying not to let this get me down to the point where I stop.




After all, there is still tomorrow as Scarlett would have thought.

And I shall do the same!

So, ciao for now,
Anita

ps. Next update will more than likely be after the August council hard rubbish collection.  Till then take care and keep up the purging of  'stuff and clutter'.

Thursday, 30 April 2015

KICK START TO MAY.

 Hi Guys,

Writing this entry on 1 May, but will show up as 30 April I am sure once I publish.  Such is the way of the internet and all that it involves.

Well, absolutely nothing has been done much in the way of decluttering.


But that's okay.


Only thing we had time for was the wedding and concentrating on my health and that was all I could achieve in this last month of April.  Had to be done and glad that we did concentrate on this most important moment in time that will now be a lasting and most wonderful memory.  Walking my daughter down that aisle to her next path of her future life is a moment I will treasure forever.

That being said, nothing on the home front has been worked on.  Shocking, I know.





Couldn't due to the back and hip issues getting worse rather than better.  Now I am booked for a procedure that I am hoping will work to stop the constant pain so I can get things done.  If this does not work, it is off to a specialist.  I just cannot allow this to just continue.  I have to do something about the pain that is affecting my life in all levels.

Little things are being done, but far too slow in light of the possibility of my having to sell my home sooner from what I would ideally like to.

This weekend my son and I will put some rubbish that has been left in the backyard into garbage bags to put into the weekly bin each week in order to get that out of the way.  I plan to sit under the carport  this weekend no matter the weather and go through what is left from the side of the house finally and bag the unwanted items and pass on anything of value or interest to the Salvo's.  I doubt that there will be much left that I could use after being out in the weather for so long.

As for my shedding the kilos, I have taken a month off to regroup and re-energise for the next block.  Am staying level for the moment, which is ideal and shows that I am on track and holding firm to my new and what was my old eating habits before the avalanche of horror events overshadowed my life for many years.  No more comfort eating for me.

Just like with the clutter, it is a matter of getting to that point, where your brain and desire match, to make that decision and be able to get through the rough patch to beat old by now well entrenched habits and thought processes to be broken.  I do believe that dealing with the clutter at an even pace as I have has helped me find my way back to my old self again.

Every one's story will be different, but this has worked for me and the willpower has surfaced from somewhere and stuck around rather than floundered.

I am at the sticky end financially and in the middle of the transition period that will last for the next month of May.  Come June I will be able to reassess and see how I travel in June and July, at which point, I will know how I am placed and be able to make more informed decisions.  Which is if I sell in 2017 (which was my plan all along) or now.

Whether I hang on or not is no longer a point of pain for me as I have been researching areas of interest to live and affordability and what I would need to make it achievable.  Like anyone, I would like what I want, but now I am equipping myself with local knowledge, I no longer feel I will be missing out or a burdan.  Just shifting my wants, along with taking into count my needs.

And the research is fun.  Going out into the local environs is opening up my eyes to so much potential.  It also has shown me other wonders out there.  It may even change the course of my ways and open up more areas to me that I otherwise would never have known.

Here's me discovering that the work does not necessarily mean 'hard yakka' at all.




However, to get there, I still have to get 'all this what is left stuff' sorted.

I need time, but running out of it fast.

There's that pesky time again.  Time to get my jiggle on and just get it done so I am still young enough to enjoy this next chapter of my journey without all this stuff and open up to other new adventures.

This entry is a brief one and will leave you with a few photos of the wedding that was.

I am one very proud Mamma Bear.

With my little smurfette.





And here she is now... wow... how time has flown by.





Some funny snaps, just a handful, to enjoy from the night.


          
          


A selection of photos from the ceremony.  What a beautiful happy Bride.














Special brooch from my Mum (my daughter's Grandmum ~ and not forgetting my Dad her Granddad as well) was added to the bouquet with a second, just out of sight, that represented my big sis (my daughter's Aunty).  Both not physically with us any longer, but very much in our hearts and there in spirit.





It is these times we live for to enjoy and remember.  It doesn't have to be as elaborate as a wedding.  Just happy pleasant moments dotted throughout our time here.

The stuff will still be there, as it is for me, but gee it is nice to have these happy moments in amongst the long hard slog.

Hoping by my next entry I will have progressed further.  That is my next step to achieve.  Get this bod moving, so I can get the stuff moving out.  There is always August when the next hard rubbish will be upon us and plan to gear up for that one.

One massive clear out.

When I started this blog that was all about a topic that has so much shame and judgement attached to it, I fully expected that I would be writing this with no one reading it ever.  It was just to help motivate me to get this done, being back than what a huge task I had ahead of me.

I will end on an interesting statistic about this blog I have been writing for over 4 years now, translating to 50 odd months and have had on average over 400 views per month worldwide from all corners.  For such a 'buried' topic and a blog that is not widely followed, it just goes to show how much all hide this from others.  I still live in hope that this subject comes out in the open more fully in order to help those better help themselves without the shame attached.  I can only try but add to this possibility by sharing my journey with clutter and as to how and when it overwhelmed me and how I have dealt with it without too much judgement from others and the shame that has been attached to it.

Rome was not built in a day.

Take care.  Be kind to yourself on your decluttering journey.  You will get there.

Cheers for now
Anita

Saturday, 21 March 2015

THE ROAD BACK TO RECOVERY IS TOUGH GOING WHEN FEELING OVERLOADED!

Hi Guys,

Yet another quick note to say that my recent sudden complete halt is finally starting back up with a trickle.

The road to recovery after a back re-injury was never going to be swift.  I have been told due to tests that my movement will eventually come to a halt.  This may be years, but it means I wont get better, however good news is with certain efforts staying steady for the moment is possible.  At least, I have movement and the ability to do little jobs and mini purges.  This huge delay may have set my progress back, but it wont stop me from forging ahead to finish what now feels like a 'perpetual' job. Finding out the news about my lower back, also means I have less time than I thought to get this job done.  This sheds new light onto this sorting as I will now need to get it done before I can no longer physically capable of getting it done.

I still want to get this place in order to enjoy it the way it should be while I can still move, regardless of whether I end up having to sell or not.  If I end up hanging on, I can then enjoy it more in a relaxing way.  If I do have to sell, then I have to get a jiggle on as come May/June firm decisions have to be made and then be implemented spit spot.

In the meantime, my daughter's wedding is speeding up faster than a locomotive.  Well, you get the picture.  I have to look decent at least for the photos to make my girl proud.  Having said that the hair that I don't get done, was well and truly overdue for a cut and colour.  It was while sitting at a recent appointment that I met a lady who deals with organising homes, office and so on for others.  What a wonderful and enlightening conversation we had.  What impressed me was her easy going nature.  I could tell that one would be totally at ease with her ideas and direction.

Apparently she offers vouchers as gifts to give, but makes sure that the recipient is aware and ready for such a gift.  What a wonderful idea!  Well, my children now know what they can get me for Christmas and next Birthday.  A few hours with this lovely lady would have me sorted in the kitchen in no time.  Hint hint.

For those who may be interested the name of her business was Bless This Mess.  Having used another that one time, I can highly recommend the outlay if you can afford it.  If you cannot come up with the cash to splash, then may I suggest you hint to others to help you by pooling together and give this as your gift rather than receive more stuff.

I am truly sold on this idea.

However, at the moment, being that I am on the edge financially, I just cannot justify the cost as yet.  But I may try to make it happen when the decision is made in order to get the house to sale ready to make the investment worthwhile.  Making the home front look neat and pleasing does translate to a higher sale.  So totally worth the outlay.

In the meantime folks, I am busy with shedding the kilos, shedding the 'stuff' and looking for employment opportunities.  Not forgetting the two children and their needs as well as my own.

Never a dull moment.

Will be back after the wedding with hopefully more progress to report at a greater rate than I am currently able to do at this moment.  Fingers crossed no matter what.

To anyone who is struggling with this issue, just take heart, take a deep breath, take it slow and most of all be kind to yourself.  Don't beat yourself up if you don't do as much at first as you like.  Remember, slow and steady wins the race.  In the end and so will you.

Cheers all,
Anita