How many 'one step at a time' add up too?

Hi guys,

I have had so many 'one step at a time' "STEPS" that I am beginning to feel like a 'Step Master'! 

Well, maybe not.  But you get to a point in the process of handling and dealing with the 'stuff' that you begin to doubt you will ever get to the other end.

Lately, a few of my friends have said, 'You must be feeling better now that you are ploughing through the half way mark'.  But to be honest, at this moment 'No'. 

It occurred to me, I would often remember my Mum in her palliative bed looking at me with such sadness at leaving me with this ginormous and thankless job ahead and say, 'I am soooo sorrryyy'.  She had had to deal with her Mum's house and had intended to deal with hers.  Even though she brought alot of her Mum's 'stuff' back to her home and I do suspect she may have struggled herself with the process.  But Cancer stopped that intention and took my Mum away 15 to 20 years too soon.

It only just occured to me when my friends said this, that I realised, I will feel better when I don't have boxes all over the place and furniture in my neighbours garage.  Only then will I start feeling better about this process. 

In the meantime,  my daughter Aija and I did go shopping for that bed base and mattress for her, which ended up being fun.  It is being delivered one night this week and looks like she will be esconsed back home by the weeks end!  And we have managed to do all this without killing each other!!!  (...almost)

Last night we dealt with the corridor which is now near empty and echoes!  Very strange indeed. 

The loungeroom, however, looks like a dogs breakfast once again.  There's that holding pattern happening once more.  I wont place it back into the corridor as while it is in the loungeroom I will be more inclined and motivated to deal with it, whereas if it stays in the corridor as the saying goes, 'outta sight outta getting rid of time' comes to mind.  Yes, I know I have played with that saying a tad, but trust me I get those sayings wrong all the time... I tend to mix 2 and even up to 3 in together and yet they still make sense!  Go figure.

Tonight, Aija is cleaning her room.  Washing windows, walls and vacuuming.  I have washed the curtains and will put them back up and tomorrow night my part in that room for the moment is done once the bed arrives. 

Back to the loungeroom.  Hmmmm, it will take time to deal with the 'stuff', but being in my face and space it will force me to do so sooner than later.  Then for a brief break from the decluttering so my back can recover.  After all, I have a job to find as well.  But I do have to take advantage of this time to get decluttering done.  As once I start work again that will definately get in the way in finding time to deal with and getting rid of 'stuff' big time.

In a way, I am glad my daughter has to move back in for a while.  It forced me to deal with the main bedroom that was full to the brim like a storage container!  A huge job in itself.  And then the last of what's under the carport, shed and neighbours garage.  Trust me that is nothing now compared to what I started out with.  I had the whole carport full and it is a huge carport (now next to nothing there) along with a full lounge room (storage style) and the dining room chockers.  These areas I dealt with first as it affected our day to day living.  Suffice it to say that when the loungeroom keeps being encroached annoys me to no end as I feel like I have this constant Groundhog loungeroom feeling.

Dealing with an enormous load like this while living in it is not easy at all.  But with time and patience it can be done.  The trouble is people think this is the way you 'like' to live, which couldn't be farther from the truth.  I try not to think about it and when I find myself saying to whoever comes to see me, 'Oh, please excuse the mess... blah blah blah...' I have to stop myself as I know what is the true story and shouldn't feel ashamed of what was thrust upon me through circumstance.  I no longer feel the need to apologise.  If those who visit choose to judge me so be it.  I know that one day if they find themselves in the same or similar situation they wont be judged by me is all.

If I give it some thought as to the amount of 'steps' so far and to go... well 'one million steps done with a million more to go'!

Am definately at the halfway mark or more and looking forward to the 'feeling better' one day soon.

I will end on a quote that I find funny, but am not wanting to offend others.  Hopefully, you will take this in the humour in which it is intended.

'People who live in immaculate houses live dull lives'!  anon

Or how I like to put my twist on it 'People who live in immaculate house have hired help.'  Anita Sulcs - feel free to use...

Cau to all especially those who have the same struggle
Anita

ps - must admit I liked it as my daughter vacuumed - my back was smiling.  My back and I have made a promise...  once home is in order set money aside for one luxury...  not massages, but cleaning help!!!