Hi Guys,
Almost another month has passed us by. Where does it ('time' that is) go?
Many times I have wanted to jump on and add a piece of news, but this new 'wonderful' job has me busy as. I recently went on my maiden 'virginal' country voyage just last week. Now not having done one of these ever, I had to nut out the timing of the drive and visits to my new customers. I think I went a tad overboard on the first leg of the trip!
The first day was from the inner suburbs of Melbourne down to a place called Phillip Island and then snaked around the lower end of Victoria and then cut through the mid section of Victoria through to Morwell and then onto Traralgon for the first overnight stay in a B & B. Sounds easy enough doesn't it! NOT if it is raining the moment you leave home to almost 11 hours later to your destination! I was a drowned rat and had it not been for the loan of a GPS from Kezzah, I would have been 'stuffed'! Big huge thanks Kezzah!!! It truly was a life saver.
Not only did I have to deal with the rain the whole day long and unfamiliar roads, but at one stage I was sent off, by the police, at a road block off into the National Forrest! Yes, folks, little lonesome me into the wilderness, full pelt of rain, starting to get dark on windy mountainous and at times dirt roads to goodness knows were! At one stage, I had to traverse one section of the road that one half had given way from the side of the mountain... now that was scary... as I didn't know if the road that was left was stable and had no way of going back. I made it through, but this little adventure added another 90 mins to my now already long day and I was getting very weary by now. This is where the GPS came into play. I had no idea where I was or heading and thankfully the GPS kept going and directing me out of this hell hole. It more than likely added kilometers to the trip by taking same strange route, but out I did get.
As much as I found the GPS exceptionally wonderful as a tool. It also spooked me out that some satellite high up in the sky could track me!!! Just a thought.
You would think things would get better from there, but each day I was presented with yet another set of issues, which I wont go into here. Suffice it to say, it was exhausting, enjoyable and glad I got through as now I will know better for next time.
All this driving played havoc with my back and will have to look into ways to support my back better for next time. All a learning curve.
Now, I sit here with a cold and look at 'the stuff' around me and know in my head what I want to do, but my legs are in concrete and my want does not outway my inertia. So I have decided to pack up the things I wanted to eBay and take those 2 huge garbage bin bags to the Sallies (Salvation Army) instead. I have realised now that there is just not enough time to eBay.
So 'stuff it' all, I say. Out it goes.
But just where is my energy?
It is a bugger getting older, as at times it stops you from doing what you really would like to do. In days gone past, I was always on top of all the things in my life and home. Many would comment how welcoming my home was, warm and friendly. But after all the horror of life that got thrown my way in general and a certain person who just never stepped up to the moment along with illness (my son/Mum and myself and the death of my Dad) and caring and then inheriting so much more 'stuff' in abundance - it seems it has all gone pear-shaped or at least south.
I know now deep down, I have made leaps and bounds in this area and made huge progress, but why does it not look that way just yet? It has been 4 years since Mum passed away and I feel so trapped by it all still. Mum so knew how much work she had placed upon my shoulders that had been, not long before, been placed on hers. I dearly would like not to pass this baton on. Mum intended to deal with her lot with my help, but the job (here in Melbourne) she did to get through life, a company she worked with for years instead gave her a blow in giving her cancer by not dealing with the way she worked with a chemical to test the threads, which was her job, via a then known '100% cancer causing chemical' and protecting her. The guys who delivered the 'stuff' were kitted up fully in white 'all in one' suits and full head masks etc. But this company never once put any OH&S in place for the people working in 'Quality & Control' EVER.... NOT ONCE.... shame on you 'and you know who you are' who are now off shore to avoid any responsibilty.
Bastards, I say to the Heads of this company, each and every one of them over those years who decided to forsake the health of their employees for the sake of a profit. I say this without any guilt as I know they know and they have made sure they avoided their end of responsibility in the demise of those employees who were placed in proximit of this substance. Nice one 'you know who'!
By the time Mum found out, it was too late to make them accountable. That and the fact that they were already operating off-shore by now. One day I hope to make this chemical common knowledge like asbestos, so it can help others. I just have to find a way how... along with everything else I have to do. So feel free to pread the word about the chemical (called 'carbotetrochloroethaline' and is used in textiles, tanning and dry cleaning industries that in the end is like asbestos--- a death sentence... slowly).
This is where I have to be careful and try very hard to stay positive. The negative and low feelings is the very time that things can slip back or stay static for way too long in the area of decluttering. Even if I just get one item or bag out a week, in the end you keep the habit of letting go keep on going instead of doing nothing at all, which means you go nowhere fast.
This is the exact time it is the hardest to get going again. And get going again I must. So muster up Anita.
I talk about my situation and know that many have the same issues that they work hard at hiding. Be it if you created it or inherited it. I would love for this to not to be such a shameful thing to go through any longer. TV shows like 'Hoarders' show the extremes and only serve to perpetuate the shame rather than help the many who suffer. I do believe this is not there intent. The intent is to entertain. But in the end it still ends up being not helpful. If in some small way I could put a dint into de-stigmatising this type of plight, that in many cases are not so extreme for many many years and then one day the balance tips too much for a moment into the almost going into the horror side of things for a variety of reasons, to make it so no one feels like a leper, then that would be my payola.
Due to my recent experiencewith eBay, I have decided eBay is too time consuming. If I had the time then it may work, but being time poor now it just is not feasible. Take for example my 'hat' that I had up for sale... didn't sell... all that work... and poof... nada... nothing! Kind of sad really. So as promised, if it doesn't sell, off it goes to the Sallies. I will pack these said items up and get my daughter to take them to the local drop off area nearby. I am also going to fold down all these boxes that are taking over the carport from all the product I have received recently from my new job to give away into the recyle bin. Yet another side issue to just make things more interesting... like I need that like a hole in the head right now.
My parents car that went to the local used car yard only a couple of weeks ago has already sold! The guy bought it off me and it didn't even cover the rego price, but I didn't mind as it meant it was gone. He slapped $1,900 on it after a polish etc and I must say looked really nice when I drove by the other day and saw it in the yard there for sale. Hope whoever has bought it gets to enjoy it and gives them another year or two of life.
I did get the marble top to that garden setting by the way. Will post a photo soon once I can afford the garden looking nice and together.
I am making a promise to me, that I will have those items packed for the Sallies by the end of this weekend... not 'the' weekend - as that could be 'any' weekend. Along with the empty boxes into the recycle bin that is due this week to be picked up.
Once, I get on top of the bills, I will look into paying someone to come and help me declutter. Now who could it be now! Some one ruthless or gentle! That is the dilemma. This I will have to give some serious thought to, as I do want a more reasonable carport area and a decent lounge to set up the Christmas tree this year. It is time. However, I don't have enough hours in each day to get it done on my own with all the other day to day commitments I have. My guess is it will take at least 2 to 3 days with 5hours each day would do it along with my daughter taking the 'stuff' as we go to the Sallies.
Now this is going to sound like an oxymoron to you all, but I really cannot stand the 'stuff' sitting around once it has been gone through! Yes, you read right. The trouble is, if it stays, once it is tended to there is a temptation to start sniffing around those 'thrown out' bags etc and start to 'regret' tossing said treasures away and retrieve them. So, in my case I prefer them gone asap (as soon as possible) to resist taking the already thrown out item back once more. Now you know that, the oxymoron should make sense. Well, at least I hope it does.
Well, guys, tomorrow is another day and the last day of this weekend to get my promises to myself done.
So, I state.... 'stuff it'! Stuff the lot. Let's see what happens... and till then... here goes...
Cheers all
Anita... hoping I can keep my promise to myself ... at least this time round...
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