Happy New Year guys.
Almost a year since I started this blogg, but not when I started unhoarding! That has taken much much longer than anticipated.
This is where you quite possibly find yourself saying each new year with adnauseum that this year will be the year you 'get rid of it all'!
Well, be careful what you wish for, as you just might be setting yourself up for one big fall. Try for something unusual like make your resolution to have attainable expectations of what you set out to achieve. That and be kind to yourself.
Being that Christmas has just whizzed by yet again, it was at one of my get togethers over this period is with an old neighbour of mine who witnessed the major part of my trauma 5 years ealier. She also lent a helping hand at carting some of the last remains of my 'stuff' to under my then still parents home carport.
It was at one of these many trips that she looked at the sheer load, equally overcome, with what I had to deal with and stated to me ... 'you wont get it done before you have to either pay out the 'Will' recipients (which in this case was 6 years from the death of Mum who had died recently) or have to sell as you wont want to go through moving this lot along with what I had inherited ever again!
She was dead right.
The prospect of this thought sent a shudder through my entire body. It was there and then under the said offending carport that I bet my friend Maureen. I could and would get the bulk of it done within 5 years. She did chuckle I must admit, but accepted the bet. Next year is my last year of that very bet. Specifically, I need to have cleared the carport area, the neighbours garage and what was on a pellet on a mezzanine floor at a friends factory.
The items at the factory have been dealt with and finalised late last year. My neighbours garage now only has 6 pieces of furniture left and I have plans for what remains and all the boxes have been dealt with and trust me there were many such boxes. The carport area has been in these last 4 odd years been reduced to a quarter of what was once there. One would think I am on track to win this bet.
Think again!
During most of those years, I was not working and I am now working 4 days a week. The odds are stacked against me. However, I am still going to give a good crack at it, as this very bet does help me keep forging ahead. One of my many ways to keep up my momentum... for a better word 'motivation'.
Even though the end date was at the time of the bet felt so far in advance, it certainly feels like it is looming like the old proverbial and breathing down my neck as I write this.
Now the bet entails, if I have not fully dealt with the exterior carport and that does not mean piling it all in the house if there are still stacks there... I mean dealt with in some way... ie... disposed of, given away or kept in a spot then, Maureen wins, and I have to take her out for a swish dinner at my expense.
Ah, but the sweet victory for me to have the exterior carport all done and dusted means, Maureen takes me out at her expense! Now how wonderful would that be!
Either way, I still really win! This very bet will have pushed me to do what I have had to do to be rid of at least the bulk of this very heavy load that was thrust upon me.
I see Maureen every Christmas day morning at which point, she happily, for the first time, reminded me of this bet. Funny, how now, she is only just checking up on me. However, she feels she will be the one being taken out for dinner. She hasn't seen how far I have come and quite frankly I will have to get her over for her reaction as that will tell you all just how much I have achieved. I do believe she will be quite dumbfounded or just simpy stunned. Also, a nice reminder for me.
If you do have a horrendous load like I did and it all seems too much, do consider a bet like this with ample time, but not too ample as to never to ever intend to 'do it'. Then disect into lots like I have and then tackl it slowly like the tortoise in the nursery ryhme. Just steady as she goes.
So, please, no big outlandish resolutions with unrealistic timelines and expectations. Be kind to yourself as this process will test you at times and hurt like hell.
There will be tears. So many tears that it will surprise you that you have so much pouring out of you. Some of these will be through sheer joy that you got one little shelf done. Some with the pain that will hurt like there is no tomorrow yet be healing in the end. Allow those tears to flow as it also means that pain flows away with it.
Also, include treating yourself once in awhile with in your resolution to 'purge' to 'let go' to 'rid one self of' all the 'stuff'. At the end of the day it is you who will have to live with the final content. I have a visual of what I want in the end. No one else can see it. But I can. That is why I am dogmatic on certain items to stay that will fit into this 'perfect picture' of mine.
I will try and draw this picture next time. Maybe just describe it... or begin to describe it. That is for next time.
It is holidays for now and will devote only one day to 'the stuff'. It is also important to take advantage of recouping ones energies both physical and mental to tackle the oncoming year.
On another note, I was quite proud that I did not get overloaded with big presents this year. My lot are beginning to get the picture as to how not add to my 'issues'.
Talking about Christmas, I finally spent it at home. First time since Mum died. The home was finally acceptable enough to be able to achieve this. I celebrate on Christmas Eve.
Here's me with some of my 'first time' prepared fare. I actually remembered how to make Mum's delicious Latvian potatoe salad as I hadn't made it in years. Amazing what seeps in eh!
Here is Aija at the end cooking the final touches - the schnitzels!!! Yumo. All I forgot were the cotlets and pirags. However, we did have the smoked zuti! Now that was delish.
This year I broke rank and went to another Ministers service. She recently had a brain tumour taken out and is fighting the good fight. She was a good friend of my Mum's and was there with me not long after Mum died and so wanted to see and be with her to show her my love and support. I also went through Latvian Saturday School with her daughter. After the service with much Latvian Christmas carols being sung I got the chance to see her and cuddle her and her whispered words in my ear were 'I am in God's hands and it will be his decision when I must go'. It was all I could do to cry as she is such a sweetheart and her profound belief is what carry's her, just as it did my Mum. For Mara's many hours spent with my Mum in Palliative and before I will forever be grateful as they comforted her and gave here peace.
Anyway, after the service we went home to get the rest of lunch together, which normally would be dinner and then open presents and then carols and if I get lucky reciting poems. Any way ... the Christmas tree I have held onto all this time since the start of the move nearly 5 years ago is a fibre optic one and the adaptor I found out was missing ... like I needed that like a hole in the head. This is where too much stuff really costs you. I had to go and buy one to then only find out the tree mechanism was no longer working!!!
Yep, call me a tad annoyed, but I looked at the silver side after my initial annoyance. Yet another thing can get tossed. No point keeping it like my parents would have done. I will either do a real one next Christmas or buy another fibre optic through the year.
Such is the way with too much 'stuff'. It does end up costing you unnecessarily!
I made it look good by twining 20 metres of LED twinkle lights. Really spectacular if I say so myself.
My three wise monkey's!
To say I had a good Christms would be an understatement. It was the bomb. All that hard work with my daughter Aija and assistance by my son Zigis really meant we could have that traditional family Christmas like we used to and keep that tradion going once more. I did cry, but it was a good cry, a happy joyful cry. I am truly blessed.
Now it is my birthday coming up shortly and I will also be going away for a conference. I plan to do some more after the major heat of summer is over. It will be during this time I will try to fix things around the house and garden and if I get really motivated deal with more boxes of paper work. I do have to deal with the taxman one day so may concentrate on finding those boxes of paper work to finalise yet another 'to do' on my list and kill two birds with one stone. If not then a day with a friend and deal with 'what's behind the cupboard doors!!!'. OooAhhh, now that would be really getting ahead of myself.
Anyhoo, there is still much to be done. I do wish you all well for 2012 and hope that it brings with it only wonderful things and success in your life and projects.
Here's to all of us for the best year yet!!! Thinking positive now...
Oh happy days! With my family!
Anita xxx
ps - if all else fails right now, breathe in breathe out and just take one day at a time or write to me to vent as I am a good listener and love to help others.
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