Now I don't mean to sound glum, but this 'decluttering' or 'purging' is the worst roller coaster ride I have ever been on. It seems to be going on forever and ever.
My positivity is taking a nose dive big time due to 'too' much time on my hands now! Now this may sound like an oxymoron, but with more time comes 'avoidance'. The less time you have the more you do and vise-versa. And avoidance can happen or be achieved in so many ways, especially when the walls come crashing down around you.
Since quitting the 'love' job, I have been busy, but on everyone else but myself.
First, I had to defrag myself from the treachery I just got out from under. I have helped friends who don't have cars to get things done. There have been events to attend and duties to perform outside of the home. Then on top of all this I got the virus from hell! All of which have taken me away from the essential important task at hand. My home and getting the crap out of here!!!
I find myself at the door of Easter to only have sorted the lounge room somewhat and not enough to be properly utilised yet again for it's intended use.
The definition of avoid is to shun, keep away from, refrain from, ditch, escape from, bypass, circumvent, dodge, duck, elude, evade, prevent, shirk, sidestep. Clearly I am an expert avoider!
Opposite to the definition of avoid is embrace as in to approach, contact, confront, face (yeeks), find, pursue, seek out, solicit. Or just do it! Clearly I have ceased to embrace this.
However, my recent setbacks have affected me more than I care to admit.
Allow me to go back to just after my last posting.
I was advised at that time that I had the Title to Mum's house. I had in my brain that it was being held at the Law firm that did my Mum's Will. I called to state as such only to be told that in March 2008 I signed for the Title. Why in their right mind would they allow 'ME' to do that! There must have been a good reason. None of which come to me right now.
Thinking of all the papers that have been thrown out since then I started to panic. Remember, my passport was thrown out the very same way years before. To get a replacement Title takes months and many hoops to be jumped through, so to say that I was beside myself was an understatement.
I asked the assistant lawyer to send me an example of the title via email and proceeded to rummage through more paperwork that day for hours till around midnight. I tossee as I went through. But no luck. No Title. I was spent. I didn't sleep. I received the email the next day and in it was also a reminder to look into any Safe Deposit Envelopes that I held at the bank. Which I did. Could it be there?
A very weary me got up the next morning and went to said bank and waited to look in this envelope that held many precious papers of family importance. Documents dating back to the turn of the century... the one before that is! I leaf through with my heart in my mouth taking my time and there at the bottom was a paper turned upside down and as I held my breath ever so hard, I turned it over to have relief spill through me as I saw the shiny emblem and the word Title.
I raced said Title to the Law firm in the city that very day. You would think that was it. Hell no. I had to sign all sorts of documents for the matter to be finalised. Groan. Where we are right now after several more hurdles being jumped over is that the Title is now with the people who decide all things Stamp Duty. This can take weeks. More groaning. This also means my buffer could be gone up in Stamp Duty smoke and changes everything. Hence, my worries. Why cannot life be 'just simple' for me just once. Not much to ask for me thinks.
I have to tell you something funny here. I said thank you to the assistant lawyer for reminding me about the bank evelope. To my surprise she said, 'you told Paul in March 2008 to put a note in the file to remind you when it was required in the future that the Title was in the said envelope and bank'! Well, what a clever dickie was I to send myself a reminder from way back when, which turned out to be almost 4 years on.
I did get to sit with Paul and chat about Mum's wishes and how long it has taken in coming around. We met in May 2007. So long ago now. He remembered her so fondly and stated what a clever person she was. That she knew what her one daughter would do and countered it before it happened. Paul also could not get over the depths my one sister went to to get me to bow to her demands. Must say I had a good cry that day with all the memories flooding back from that time. It was a healthy crying as I remembered what Mum set out to do while dying from cancer. Whether this sister will take on Mum's message or not will be up to her. I just know that Mum would be settled now knowing what she wanted and her wishes got done to the letter.
Now the wait creeps on. I knew deep down setting out to finalise the Will would be frought with heartache and delays, but this really has sent me into a tailspin.
See how easy it is to slide back.
In the meantime, I have been sending my Resume out left, right and centre. Have had a few nibbles. Hope I get something soon as that would settle me down somewhat. Also, went to Centrelink (as I used to call them Centrestink) to advise of my altered circumstances and I will be going through more transition and will be in a state of flux for a few months yet to come there also. I feel like all my tenpin bowling balls are all up in the air hovering over me and not knowing when they shall drop. One by one or all at once. Not a great feeling. No wonder I got sick and avoidance set in.
With my positivity deminishing and being distracted with finalising the Will and getting the Home Loan sorted I felt like I was pushing uphill bigtime and getting very frustrated that time was dragging in this case. I am so close to this chapter ending that it is agony getting there.
Due to this delay, I am in this limbo land until the last part of the Will is done and dusted. Until such time, the Home Loan has also come to a complete halt. I just hope the outcome will be doable. I only accounted for so much and wish I had added an extra ten thousand now for the possibility that I may now have to pay the dreaded Stamp Duty. The Title is now in the hands of the government department that decides such things and this could take weeks, which in turn makes this all very horrifying for me. More delays. Being that it is a gift and not bought they have to look into the legality and 'meaning' and intent of the Will to then ascertain who if any pays Stamp Duty and on what. Very murky if you ask me and 'interpretation' can be skewed. Afterall, they are into making money for the government. I just hope I have calculated enough to cover any such contingency.
I have retreated into some of the same old patterns in order to avoid the elephant in the room due to my personal worries. I mention this as this is what happens when life throws you these curve balls and if you are not yet strong enough to handle such events it can and will knock you down. I was going so well there for a while that just like in sitcoms when it is all too wonderful something has to happens to knock you over and give you that massive wake up call.
One good thing to report. The Red Light Camera fine that I got in error has been sorted and now going to the rightful party.
Here is the withdrawal...
A small victory in this case!
In the meantime, I have had to fork out a ton of money on my son's student transport card and on top of this I also promised him he would have a 16th birthday party as he really hasn't had one since before Mum died. We have settled on 6 boys in all going to Luna Park with All Day ride access plus starting at Macca's for lunch and then they can ride to their hearts content till 8pm. Going on the rides at night is the best. Now with all these delays and potential extra costs I am now freaked out about money or lack thereof. I know it will all pan out. I just wish I had a crystall ball to know I will end up having enough.
But the party will go ahead as we need some fun time as well. So if we go down. We go down as a family. Together.
I will make an attempt at getting the lounge room at least in order by Easter end. Also sit down and work out a Working Bee weekend on the garden as it really has been taken over by 'The Triffids'.
Here are some photos to show you how much the plants have truly taken over.
This is the side to the back yard, which needs to be totally cleared.
Next is a side view of the back yard. The Magnolia bush... now tree has taken over the yard and needs a sharp trim back big time.
The is of the back door. You can see steps there somewhere!
This is the other side of the house that I have hacked at several times and yet here it is - total takeover time! You will see the water tanks on the side - just.
Now this is a high (POV) point of view above the water tanks. The bush at the end is around 3 metres high and is now at gutter height! On top of this there is a weed growing from one of the water tanks that you can see in the foreground. Talk about a Triffids takeover!
All this had been cut back and it has gone buresque! Just add water and look what happens!!! It has gotten to the point that it is totally out of hand and I need help. A lot will have to be trimmed right back and some bushes will need to be removed as they just get out of control too quickly.
Mum always said I wouldn't cope with the garden. Oh, how she knew. We stood together in the backyard one day not long before she went into palliative and we both were shaking our heads and what was to be. Mum was amused by all of this and she and Dad would be having a right laugh right now. But, I wouldn't trade this part of the experience for anything. Fond memories of my parents that I treasure.
As for the lounge room that has stuff dumped on one of the couches and so on. There will be one unhappy camper and that will be Miss Kafups as I call her, otherwise known as Missy.
Here she is in her 'new' and current favourite pozzie...
Not for long. She will not be amused.
Last, but not least, I will have to work on my "stinkin' thinkin'" and turn that around as well. When I am down is when I am the least productive with getting rid of the 'STUFF' and finding time to do it. It's not like I don't have the time is it now. But such is the way when people are involved. Anything can happen. With those last three words I have to turn it from a negative to a positive. No woe is me any more. I have to pull myself up and just start. As hard as that is to do, I shall find the strength from somewhere and do just that. Make it happen.
In a way, by writing this 'blog', it will help me from going deep into my doldrums and get me back to being up again. I have to remember my own advise and to be kind to myself as I don't want to make this situation worse than it already is.
I am desperately trying to be patient and cool as a cucumber! So very hard to do. Hope to report next time all is signed, sealed and delivered and that the next chapter of my life has begun.
Now off my butsky from the computer and on into the fray called 'the loungeroom'!
Yes, folks! I'm going in.
Wish me luck and see you on the other side.
Cheers to you all
Anita
ps - Happy Easter to those to whom it matters. As for all of you don't let life's trials and tribulations get in the way of your progress and if it does, then just enjoy your family and friends.
Take care over the holidays folks.
No comments:
Post a Comment