CRY ME A RIVER.

Hi Guys,

New year, new day, new fresh start for many.  Happy New Year to you all.

As for my decluttering... well on my way now, but not quite there yet unfortunately.

This year is going to be my year I have decided.  Being both a Goat astrologically and that this coming year as of 19 February and born in the year of the Goat for the Chinese astrological calendar.  This has got to be a good sign.  Double Goatdom for me.

So, good things are going to happen as far as I can see.

If I say it.  It will happen.

I have realised looking back and taking stock once more that I have literally cried me a river in the last 9 years.

And the tears have streamed down for a lot of that time as well as since I have had this blog going to help keep me motivated to get to the bittersweet end.  That end will be when I can safely say, 'I'm done'.


 


The tears have flowed and no more so than today.

Why today?

Well, I finally got to that part, around the side of the house, that I knew would be fraught with horrors for me and just knew that there would be more tears involved.

I wasn't wrong.




As for what has happened since last I wrote.  Well, there is good news,

I made it to Christmas with the home intact.  I am still not out of the woods.  But I made it through when I thought all was doom and gloom.  It has given me hope and that much needed extra time to sort through more of the stuff to get to my next and hopefully more carefree and enjoyable chapter of my life's journey and adventures.  I would like to be young and healthy enough to enjoy them rather than endure them if I can.

With that in mind I have been madly purging, tossing and sorting much more than I could ever have hoped for.  A few friends at different times have come over to lend a hand and that makes it go faster and more out that door.  I have to say yet again how blessed I am with the best and how much I love them all and that a simple thank you is just not enough and will have to do something one day to show them how much I have appreciated all the help I have received so far.

                         

I have sorted through papers and I have sorted what was in the corridor finally and now tackling the dreaded side of the house.

Once I have dealt with that, I will then deal with the last of the horror places, which will be the shed.

After that it is just what's left under the carport and the attic, but that is not so bad, as that means I am on the home stretch.

In the meantime, seeing so much of my stuff in ruin from damp and the weather has saddened me to no end.  Some things where fine and yet others were just beyond salvation.

Time and mother nature has decided for me.  I have to accept that.  But the tears fell.

             

I cry for many reasons.  Sadness above all else.  I cannot not cry.  It just comes.





Good news is I am slowly getting to that place of being closer to the finish line.  When I do move, I certainly do not want to move all the stuff that is no longer usable or needed.

But the worst is almost over.

I can see the home stretch ahead of me.... I chose to think positively and not negatively!

Once I have the shed done the absolute worst of the worst side of this journey will have been faced and dealt with.

Most of my nightmares will have been faced.  Whether I have handled it well or not wont matter in the future.  What will matter is the quality of life I will have and that I will have broken the handing down of this undone work with my generation.  I will have saved this hell from my children in their old age.

In the corridor there where things that brought up so much pain.  I was able to let that wash over me and get rid of the pain along with the items that had that pain attached to it.  Hard for some to understand, but we all feel emotions in so many different ways that it is not the 'what' that causes the pain that should be considered, but the emotion itself.  No matter what the emotional pain is caused by we all experience it at some time or stage of our lives and our personal triggers can vary.  This just happens to be mine.

In the meantime I will continue to wish upon a star and keep on plugging on the best I can so that this particular horror story has an end and a happy one at that no matter how exhausted and bedraggled I may feel.

Now out the backyard to sort through what has to be binned and what can be salvaged if much at all.  So not looking forward to this.  But I must.

Reminding myself to breathe in and breathe out and be kind to myself.

Hopefully next time I will be on the home stretch.  That's me making great strides towards that finish line.

 


And counting my blessings.

Cheers all,
Anita