What was I thinking!

Hi Guys,

Once more I find myself in a state of trauma!  The home maintenance took a twist and turn to the 'dark' side.

Allow me to expand.

I am not well and am trying to recover from dreaded lurgies and Mark, a friend, came over on Saturday (the only time in the immediate future he had) to fix the carport roof and a few other odd bits and pieces.  That part was fine.  It was what happened later, much later that was problematic for little ol' mwoi.

The carport in one corner was lifting up and out of and not tethered to the pole it was supposedly anchored into.  Another problem was some 4 years ago my ex decided to remove some packing from the other middle end of the carport roof and never bothered to fix what he had done!  Finishing things was never his strong suit so why start now!

Anyway, Mark fixes that end first that needed packing and then onto the corner that was my main concern along with Zigis's assistance.  Such a relief to have it done finally after all these last 4 years watching it lift up and bow in the 100 km gusts of winds.  I remember talking to my much beloved big sis Sylvia once while it was happening and I could see it was about to fly off into the neighbours house or further even.  She offered to pay for it to be fixed, but this was while she was battling her aggressive bowel cancer that took her away from us just months later.  I never allowed her to do that as she had to concentrate on her.  But helping others made her feel good, but I said I would take care of it.  The money never came to do so and grateful that Mark could and did.  And here is Sylvia who always looked out for me now looking out for me yet again even in her darkest hours.  Miss her so...

I digress.  Then we tried to fix the rangehood that had stopped months ago and had been using a little personal fan at the side when cooking so the steam would not set off the smoke alarms.  Anyway, the bearings have gone and will need to get that fixed along with Zigis's room that has no 'light' now for 2 years!!!  Oh dear, how am I going to deal with all this.  The hot water service is from the early 60s and is such an old boiler and the house has no heating.  Say no more.... 

Oh well, will have to do a Scarlett O'Hara and think about it tomorrow for tomorrow is another day.

Then onto attach what needed to be screwed, but we didn't get the coat hanger thingy up in the hallway!  Bugger and that was the one thing I really wanted done after the carport roof.  Trust me I am extremely grateful to Mark that all this was done.  If nothing else the carport was fixed and I can be at peace when the next big winds/gales hit.

You are more than likely asking by now, 'What trauma?'.

Well, Mark, turns around and says.  'I have the van here empty, let's fill it up right now and I will take it to the tip for you.' 

OK, this sounds all good and hesitate just for a fraction of a second, which is all that Mark needed to launch into piling things into the van.  I had forgotten what Mark was like and capable of.  Before I knew it, this and that was in the back of his van.  I was there digging certain items out - a kitchen thing from the 50s and very retro for ebay etc and the last one was a 50s watering can that was real cool and that went as he shut the hatch before I could grab it.  I did, however, retrieve one thing I had kept that my Granddad had made for me.  I had thrown everything else out of his that I had kept except this one last thing from when I left Bentleigh some 4 years before.  Granddad had made it with his own hands and it still meant alot to me.

Some of my friends will accolade him and I can hear one of you reading this and you know who I mean cachortling away at my demise.

For some memories work for them.  However, for me, I prefer more tangible ways to remember long lost loved ones. 

Nutty you may say, but my goodness did my heart leap into my throat while this madness was going on.  I was happy for 95% of it to go, but my decisions on some where unceremonially taken away from me.  No matter how well intentioned my wonderful friend was being and he really was being wonderful, I realised as I was jumping around him to grab stuff off him I was still not there yet. 

Actions speak louder than words and by the looks of it I still have a long way to go.

Lesson for me is as they say in the Scouts 'Be Prepared' and I will have to add from now on 'Be On Guard' as well!

I am now licking my wounds and finding solace in the comfort that it is all for the best.

It will take time for me to get back to it...  my paceand rythym has been mucked up.  However, there is Aija, who I am sure will, once she wakes up will insist on getting 'something' done today!!!  Oh, please give me a break!!!

I will have to work on a mantra that helps me get through these torrid waters to help me accept the things I cannot do... etc etc etc... is that similar to Alcoholics Annonomous?  Hmmm...  am I addicted now to what has been thrust upon me.  Food for thought and to ponder.

Till next time and hopefully I will be out of this 'dark' twist and turn.

Cheers all
Anita
trying to remember it is good to achieve 'onward and outward'.