Wow, it is the first day of 2013 as I write this. Being that at the time I write this I think it will be that date that gets put on the blog, which is far from what actually happens in most cases. Due to the time lag this could well end up saying it was done the day before! I do believe it is the cyber space leprechauns messing with our heads personally.
Anyhooo, re-read my post from last year's 'Impossible New Year Resolutions'. How revealing! Note to self: must remember what I have written in the past.
Well, my last year's resolution was to be kind to myself and not stress about the act of decluttering, but still stay focused regardless of time available. Well, it worked!
Who knew a resolution could actually work.
First clue is to make it simple and achievable.
Second clue is to actually actively go about the resolution during said year.
Looking back now, I am so much further ahead now than I thought I would have been back then. Hope that makes sense to you all. I didn't even envisage myself that day back then in 2012 to be in my new bedroom by the year end. That has been a surprising plus. Have now been in my new room for the last 3 nights and has been very surreal.
I have room to move. I have all my clothes put away neatly. I like it.
I now have an abundance of light. I like that also.
There is still just one small niggle though. I wanted to make this room nothing like my parents had it. There is still one piece of furniture that was theirs and still has to be moved out and only then will I be totally at home in my new space.
Funnily, I have no problem with their stuff in the rest of the house. Just my bedroom. Hmmm, food for thought there. For another time.
Here is some of my elements to make this space mine.
And instead of curtains till I can get the new cream roll screens this screen will do the job nicely.
It throws colour around the room in the afternoon sun. Just delightful.
This is Missy's new spot. Which will be positioned better and is right at bird's eye view of where the birds gather. She will enjoy this immensely. Here she is already onto it.
Christmas this year was what I am referring to as the Trifecta.
Christmas Eve was just the best with my 2 plus one. Being that last year we went to another Minister's service this year has us going back to the usual church. The Minister who I loved very much that we went to be last year sadly passed away a few months later. Got to see a few people I hadn't seen for some time. Then back to Aija and Keith's home to celebrate, eat, laugh, eat some more, open presents, fit some more food in and laugh some more. A truly magical night.
Here are some of the magical moments. Nothing better than Latvian carols on Christmas Eve.
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Met a long lost relative on my Mum's side.
The cooks were rather spunky also and very accommodating with wearing the christmas gear.
The supervisor.
Hard work being the supervisor!
As you will see we never did replace the Christmas tree from last year that went kaputsky. Had this backup without the tealights as an interim.
Presents for all happily received...
My three...
We three...
Me messing around with selfies! What was I thinking. Obviously, not.
Next day was visiting my old neighbour as I mentioned in the previous blog that my neighbour brought up about our 'bet' the minute she saw me. And you know the rest from the previous blog. Then onto spending the day with Keith's family. What a wonderful day. Just enjoyable all round. No stress. Total relaxation. Good conversation flowed. Pure joy. Then safe and sound much later that day at home that very same day.
The day after that was spent with my children's Godmum, Sue and turned out to be one of the most relaxed Boxing Day Picnics in a long time. Something was in the air. We started out at the park, but later on the gusts of wind got us back inside her unit. Either way is fine by us as we make do with whatever year in year out. This one was especially magical. Hence, Trifecta.
Didn't get loads of presents as I don't need more 'stuff'. What I got was the most valuable present of all and that was time spent with my wonderful loving family even though we are few in numbers, I felt full in abundance, to the brim, use whatever saying one could come up with and I got that in volumes. Real loving precious time with my family.
How blessed am I?
As for the New Year's Eve Resolution, I have decided to make an extra special effort to now complete this journey by the end of 2013. It is an ongoing Resolution. You know the one. The gift that just keeps on giving. Well, this is the resolution that just keeps on going.
Thirteen is a lucky number in our family. It has a history that bodes well for us. I must make the most of this number. All my past kin will be behind me I am sure.
Here it is.
I will get the remaining 'stuff' under the carport sorted or dealt with in one way or the other by the end of 2013. Done in a timely fashion prior to winter setting in as that is when things come to a halt. Then turn my attention during the winter time on the shed and even toss in the attic to be sorted through. But shed first. What ends up in the attic will only be the items we need annually or for things like camping that is needed sparodically in my case now and items of sentimental value to me. These I will keep to a few rather than the crap load I had before.
To cement this resolution I will if I don't get this done donate $100 to a charity of my choice. Again a win win either way. This should get me going. If I do get it done then I will give myself a treat like a body massage and what the heck monies still to a charity.
Strangely enough I see this as now doable.
Today the study gets worked on. Over the next few days we move the computer and set it up properly from the word go. There will be room to move withing the home.
I will get the house whisperer back to help me with the kitchen, which really is a nightmare. I will have to get the lounge set in a more flowing style. So much to do, but the focus will always remain getting rid of the 'stuff' under the carport via a not stress method.
Life is way to vulnerable to allow much of it to be wasted on feeling dragged down and stood on. Make what you have work for you not the other way around. Mine used to work for me till the balance of scales went out of kilter relatively overnight. When that happens you better be ready for a roller coaster ride. Thankfully, even though it has taken time to get here, here I am beating the bulge of the weight of 'stuff'.
Have to do a recalculation of cubic metres of stuff gone. Maybe I am further ahead than I give myself credit for.
Any way, I have managed to beat the New Year's Resolution Blues by one simple method - being kind thy self and being freaking realistic about my Resolution! The trick is to take the 'pressure' factor out of the equation. Instead add in an 'enjoyment' factor. A small enjoyable reward at every milestone to remind yourself how well you are doing.
It will take time, but at least that time will be better spent not stressed and able to enjoy the people and life around you while you go through this process more than not. That is the end goal.
Get there and get there in a positive state of mind without too much pain.
All the things I have offered to help one through are just tools. Many experts use many of these tools as well. Most of what I am saying is not unique or even new or WOW revolutionary.
What I feel is that the stigma attached is what holds everyone back from getting it done.
Look, I have hung it all out here in this blog in the hope first to help myself get through this process as well as destigmatise this situation and then if I get lucky help others who find themselves drowning in stuff and want to get out. I hope and I mean this hope that this helps out there.
This process wont happen overnight or even start in most cases due to the shame attached, but it only takes one to start for the pebble to drop into that water and that ring to ripple out.
I am waiting for that ripple effect.
Too many people suffer unnecessarily in fear of being found out to be a closet hoarder. Hey, some people call it collecting. But if I can help shave some of that shame away then most would feel confident to get started rather than hide behind closed doors.
I will state here and now that it is a hard slog, but well worth persisting in. One that I am now glad I for whatever reasons started when I found myself drowning in clutter. If I hadn't I would still be living within masses of stuff and feeling like I couldn't breathe. I would still feel overloaded to the extreme. I still do feel overloaded. Just not so deathly any more.
I started small and slow. It has taken the last 6 years of all those smalls and slows that have now added up to be a huge amount of cubic meters of unnecessary stuff gone out of the way and out of my life. Free air space has something to be said for it. The difference is massive. That is why photos are important. They do show you how much you have done and achieved. We forget how far we have come without the visual reminder. Even if the photos are only For Your Eyes Only, I would still have them for postitive motivation and affirmation.
When you do make that 'Resolution', just remember to make sure it involves being kind to yourself and is realistic.
In some cases it is perfectly fine to strive beyond. But in this case when you are doing this without support in most cases this is the way to making it happen. If you fail by making it too impossible to achieve then one retreats and licks their wounds and says no way I am doing that again. Only natural if you ask me. This is what must be avoided at all costs. This is why I am writing this blog to say 'slow and steady' in this case is a good thing and one that will help one achieve the end goal in time no matter how long that time takes. Better slow than never.
I am proof that it works.
I don't have a film crew and a crew of strong people to help me do it in a weekend. I don't have any magic fix being thrown my way. I also don't have to deal with the trauma those shows do to these people either.
As it goes out you slowly take note and it will begin to feel good and the natural thing to do. There will be moments that you get down, especially when you get long hold ups, say for example a long illness or a job that takes you away. Don't worry that is taken into account in the 'slow' part. You just pick up and start again when you can. Nothing stops this method other than the person who is doing the doing.
I my case when I find myself not having done any tossing for a while say a week or two or lord above three, I use this blog to write it publicly in order to force myself to get the things done that I want to achieve. That is my method. There are others ways as well. It may be talking to your doctor or a close friend. No matter the method, better to have something that you know will kick start you once more for then nothing again will get done. But this works well for me as then I have to get it done. Which ever way to get yourself going again then do it. I can be a massive procrastinator and that is why I put it out there publicly as a way to motivate myself to stop the procrastination.
Now that I know this 'slow and steady' resolution method works for me. Here is to 2013 folks.
I was actually feeling rather low for some weeks now due to losing the job. But now that I can see I haven't wasted my 'down' time. This in itself has brightened me up somewhat. I still need a job, but at least I am utilising my time and to good use.
The first day of the year is a day for family and will see both my children. This then sets up my year to be complete. They are the key that drives me. If they are overseas at that time well a phone call will suffice, but in the meantime we see each other.
My wish is to make my home the way it used to be. Homely. Welcoming. Open. Warm. Friendly.
Not much to wish for is it now.
Here is my old bedroom minus my double bed and with the table for the computer on its side ready to get set up. Next blog should show you the end result.
This is where the bed was. You can see how squished I was into such a small space. My choice to move into this room was that Mum was still with us and I had moved in to be there 24/7 to care for her in order to stop all the massive driving around I was doing. Even though the room was the smallest the bonus was the view is gorgeous. And that I needed. To be filled with the goodness that the world and nature had at the time when I moved in back then was important what with all the horror my other older sister was actively creating back then. It was my coccoon. My sanctuary. This room served me well. It is only now my Mum's and other older sister Sylvia's words of apologies for what they left me with now hold more comfort as I grow stronger. It is time.
You cannot see it very well, but the Magnolia is massive and is green through summer, bare through winter and an explosion of flowers for but a brief moment in spring till the big winds come along.
The table is one I used in a small flat that converts from a coffee table to a dining table. It has been neglected for some years and will need a light sanding before I set up anything on it. My daughter used it during her high school years and did a huge amount of drawing on it hence the wear. Planned to sand and stain many a year ago. Better late than never as seems to be my catch cry now.
Trust all are in good spirits for what 2013 will bring. Above all else here is to a better and brighter year ahead than the bloody last one was.
Cheers folks,
Anita who is now more happily well on her way.
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