WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS!

Hi Guys,

I haven't found my motivation as yet, but haven't completely lost it either.  Thank goodness.

Life can be kind at times and by personal experience can be extremely cruel and cold hearted. 

I have had so much thrown at me in the last month that normally would have me down and out for the count for some time in the past.  All the work on the home front and 'me' front must be working, as somehow I have kept going.  And I have my family and friends to thank for that!

As one gets older you begin to see a pattern.  People come and go, either by choice or circumstance and when it is a choice, we have then choices about what we will do about it or not.  For some you fight.  For some you have to let go.  For some it was simply not meant to be.  For some who take you by surprise there is no more that can be done.  For some you will forever hold in your heart.  And some even come back.

I work at keeping my friends as I treasure each and every one.  Even those that I have lost.  Friendship is hard to come by and should not be taken for granted.  As for family, those that are left and chose to be at my side, I love dearly and forever in my heart.

If it wasn't for them, I would not have gotten to where I have.  All that and remembering to just 'breathe'.

First off, my children.  My daughter and her ever gorgeous boyfriend and my son all helped on the hard rubbish day.  I was so 'not' up for it due to many horrors, but they pitched in and the 'triffid' is now a thing of the past.  I had no illusions that dealing with this massive ball of twine would take some effort and time.  And it did.  The two men worked long and hard.  As for myself and daughter, we decided to deal with what was in the car and under the carport as it had gotten into a bit of a mess due to all the market stuff.  

We piled the gear out of what was in the car from the last market day and sorted all the clothing to go to the Salvation Army.  Too much effort for no return and taking up space.  We ended up with the bins filled to the brim with more to be taken to the Sallies and the car cleaned out and repacked for when I next go to market, but the carport area was still a tad in disarray.  But it felt good to get something done rather than nothing achieved.

Behind the car is was what was left that was taken to the Salvation Army.

Still in a mess.  As the cleaning lady in that TV ad would say 'Oh, Mr. Hart!  What a mess!'

Here is the mass we affectionately called the 'Triffid' the second.

Just some twigs that are left.

And bound for hard rubbish collection.  The heater and dog house got taken within a day.

Have continued to sort through papers and tossing and filing as I go.  The perpetual merri-go-round continues within my lounge room, where I sit some nights going through with a rubbish bag next to me on a regular basis.

Some of my friends asked whether there was something I needed help with and two of my gal pals came over yesterday to help me sort the mess from all the market stuff on one side and hopefully some more order to the mess in general, so I can continue to deal with it on my own over the months to come.

This was the mess early Sunday.

Later that day and now starting to look a little better.

We swept the leaves away that had built up over winter and found that the prickles from one of my Mum's cacti were making us itch in a nasty way.  Rule of thumb when doing this type of work and that is cover with long sleeves and gloves as apart from the prickles the spiders were a happy little bunch until we disturbed them and I don't want to land back in hospital and close to death ever again by a spider bite.

I had visions of grandeur and thought we would get through the lot that day.  What happened to me?  What was I thinking?  It is this very thinking that makes you get down and stop.  I had to rethink my thinking and take stock that there is still much to be done and not to rush the process.  Be kind to thy self!

It was at this point that my friend gave me a bag to look at and even though I didn't think it would affect me, it did.  At the end of next month it will be six years since my beautiful Mum died and it was her toiletry bag from the Palliative hospital that was handed to me.  It was left just as is and there was her toothbrush, soap and other personal items and then her hair brush still with her hair within.  It affected me more than I would have expected.  Luckily we had gone as far as we could've by this time and I was grateful that my pals had had enough also.

There will be such moments that emotionally affect you and even if you are ready or not you have to accept it and still move on or fight on.  The end goal is what one is striving for.  Also, it does help to heal by remembering and then letting it go.

Sorting the disorganised organised mess.

Looking much better.  Less and less each time.  The bins are all full with more rubbish to go in after this weeks pick up.

Wish I could find the photo from the start of this journey as all that space used to be full of boxes.  And now down to only this.  

This is why it is important to document visually your progress.  It has just helped me keep hanging onto my reason to stay motivated.  

As promised here is my Magnolia Bush.

Next will be to deal with what was placed in the lounge once again for me to go through at night.  Not every night.  But most nights.  

Slowly slowly I am getting through all this stuff.  

In the meantime, the course that I am doing I am finding very difficult as there is so much work to get done and crammed into a short space of time.  I know I will make a good Trainer as I love helping others.  Just hope I get a chance at doing just that.

So a big thank you to my darling two children and daughter's boyfriend and my friends who have stuck by me through thick, thin, tears, up and downs and still there and chose to put up with me.  I love you all very much.

Bye from me for the moment while I get over this last episode and retire to the couch to sort through more paperwork and homework.

Next will be more weeding.

Cheers all
Anita who is hard at study.