Been busy with the last of the boxes. Oh, I am getting ahead of myself.
Here is the second load of posts from January and February earlier this year. Some more philosophical and others more practical.
Being that all the tools were still out in the backyard on top of and under tarps was getting me down. I was still working out how to get the rest of the carport finalised without Wendy's professional assistance. By this time, my children were organising a belated, very belated, 60th birthday celebration and calling it my '21st + 40', to be held in early February.
In the meantime, I posted this late January to remind me what mattered most.
Here is what I shared:-
Posted this favourite poem 6 years ago now. Nine years ago my bliss's Mum shared this with me and became my go to ever since and remains one of my top loved poems.
'What Will Matter' poem by Michael Josephson.
Here is the poem for those who may find it difficult to see:-
Ready or not, someday it will all come to an end.
There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.
All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten will pass to someone else.
Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.
It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear.
So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to do lists will expire.
The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
It won't matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.
It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin colour will be irrelevant.
So What Will Matter?
How will the value of your days be measured?
What will matter is not what you bought but what you built, not what you got but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that endriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.
What will matter is not your competence but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when your gone.
What will matter is not your memories but the memories that live in those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.
Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident.
It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.
Choose to live a life that matters."
There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.
All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten will pass to someone else.
Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.
It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear.
So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to do lists will expire.
The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
It won't matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.
It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin colour will be irrelevant.
So What Will Matter?
How will the value of your days be measured?
What will matter is not what you bought but what you built, not what you got but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that endriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.
What will matter is not your competence but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when your gone.
What will matter is not your memories but the memories that live in those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.
Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident.
It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.
Choose to live a life that matters."
In the end, you alone can decide what matters most. I know my answer.
At the same time, I was still sleeping in the lounge room. No biggie, but was getting close onto a year and my rehabilitation had well and truly come to an end and time to get back in my own room.
However, my room had become a convenient dumping ground. This was my next project. Project bedroom. And so I made tracks to making this happen around this time prior to my birthday party.
Here is my next entry posted 30 January 2017 stating that achievement:-
Guess who slept in her own bedroom for the first time since 25 February 2016 last night? Lounge room will now once again be a lounge room without a bed in it. I am one happy little camper. This means the decluttering is progressing. More stuff moving on out, while I moved back in."
You can tell I am one happy vegemite with all the things I love around and behind me. Must say, nothing quite like your own bed in your own bedroom after nearly a year. Was sweet dreams for sure.
Then I posted on the anniversary of what would have been 6 years of my HHH Blog on 7 February 2017. Even though my journey with the 'stuff' was over 9 years by this stage and it was only out of sheer frustration at appearing to make no progress and finding no positive sites about 'stuff and hoarding issue and problems', that I decided to let it all hang out and start my own blog to get it all off my chest and hopefully out of my life, as in home front, to help myself get this task of such gargantuan proportions done. There was not much out there other than those with shame and fear attached regarding this area. And that sure was not motivating me!
I have a few brave followers whom may understand what I am eluding to here. I have so many looking and reading my blog, but you would not know it from my outwardly stats. I can tell you differently, which you will soon see soon if you read on.
Here is what I posted 7 February this year as follows:-
HHH 6 year Review.
Time for yet one more trip down memory lane. My goodness how time flies.
Started this 'Hoarders Helping Hoarders' blog without knowing what I was doing at the time.
HHH helped spur me on, which was my original intent, along with lessening the shame attached to the word 'hoarder'.
It sure has been a long journey and am now finally closer to that finish line all these years on and spoken to the most loveliest of people around the world. Even helped some along the way. Sadly not many dare to comment such is the stigma attached to one little word. Still, never cease to be amazed at the corners of the world that take an interest about such a shunned topic.
Since this day I have had over 27,000 views not including me, with some posts most favoured being photos of my daughters feet! I have 11 brave followers, with many more contacting me privately and in secret.
The most viewed of all my entries has been on checklists etc from 17 May 2014 as at 2017. However, this first fledgling entry shared here, in all its naiveness, is my favourite. I named the blog Hoarders Helping Hoarders not knowing at the time that I had named the entry I was writing the same as the blog as well. I didn't change either and it has remained the same ever since.
My most views have come from America with Australia second and then in third place Russia.
Other countries not in any order have been from UK, Germany, France, Ukraine, Poland, Netherlands, Italy, Greece, Egypt, Latvija, Lithuania, New Zealand, Spain, Slovenia and many other Europe countries. Canada, USA, Alaska, El Salvador, Mexico, Colombia, Argentina and many from the America's. India, Indonesia,Thailand, Cambodia, Malaysia, China, Nepal, Bhutan, United Arab Emirates, Japan, Phillipines, South Africa and parts of Asia and African continents. Even Antarctica has had a check in at one time. Which only tells how universal this issue of 'stuff' has become.
I have written 84 entries so far, covering each year with something to be said. However, last year, I only had the one entry due to ill health. Even so, progress had still been on-going.
On reflection, this blog, that I thought no one would look at or take an interest in, has kept me going and for that I am thankful that it worked in my favour.
I am aiming to be at the tail end of this declutter journey by the end of this year. By then, it will be 10 years since I inherited this massive problem and feel it will be a fitting round amount of years to have been dealing with it all.
Last year, I was granted funding via Salvocare and Partners in Recovery for a professional to come help speed up my pace. In comes Wendy of 'Skeletons In The Closet'. Wow. It worked.
I must say how grateful I am to Salvocare and Partners in Recovery (now Wellways), for that funding that was so graciously provided. Due to this funding, I am now a lot further than I otherwise would have been. I have only just a fraction left under the carport left to deal with. I know I can no longer do this outside part on my own so have decided to try and sell a few things to get the much needed money for the carport area to be sorted and finalised with the professionals help quickly.
Wish me luck.
I will start selling a few things for at least two to three sessions. I know that should be enough to get me to my end goal as far outside goes.
Then I get cracking on the inside.
That is the plan and aim for 2017 to have a fresh slate for 2018.
Thank you to all of you who have taken the time to read all or parts of my humble blog that many would never mention nor admit out loud. I don't mind at all. Mums the word. Just as long as it has helped even one of you then I am satisfied.
Shall recommence my blog entries as of March to catch you all up on what I was busy achieved whilst recuperating and adjusting to my partial blindness. Then onto the motivation on the inside.
Then I truly am at the end game stage.
Cheers from Anita who had shared her life out on the front lawn."
As you can see, many many people around the world check and look in on my blog. Now, end of October, I have reached just over 30,000 views, not including me, with 86 posts soon 87 and now 13 followers in just over 6 years. For an unspoken, never to be mentioned topic, there sure are a lot of people around the world looking at this said shamed topic.
Also, I did mention above the idea was to commence my posts here in HHH back in March. But, it was not to be. Several reasons. First, was my eye complication was and still is playing havoc and me adjusting to it still. Second, I just wanted to get on here and say, 'I did it'! 'I am done under the carport'!. 'Finally, finished with the outside stage of this journey'. That was the plan anyway. Instead, life got in the way. However, my progress never stopped. May have slowed down, but never stopped.
Have I mention having a sense of humour is essential? Had to laugh when I saw this bed. How many could relate, whether a hobby person or one which loads to hide in plain sight! Humour is a wonderful way to deal with this journey and I have needed loads of it.
Some of my recent finds in my sorting and purging process.
Found this magnifier come monocle in one of my recent sort/purge sessions, which has come in handy at the right time. Question is, how did I know some 13 years ago I would have needed this now? Still pondering that one.
And here we have Mr. Perfect. Found Mr. Perfect tucked away 8 years ago in one of my many boxes that I finally got to open. Mr. Perfect says all the right things.
Hope this works so you can have a listen...
https://www.facebook.com/anita.sulcs/videos/10156584494653238/
If it does not work this time, will try to work on it for the next entry. Mr. Perfect is a hoot.
Here is a reminder of my very first post:-
"SUNDAY, 6 FEBRUARY 2011
Hoarder's Helping Hoarder's!
Hi Guys,
Hi Guys,
This is the first and official opening of a hoarders blog... Will try and get this to link into Facebook eventually, but will need time to get to that.
In the meantime, I think it is time for those of us who have 'too much stuff of any sort' to place a positive spin on the name or word 'HOARDER'!
Most of the time no one would know who you are or even know you like to keep or collect or find it just that little bit harder to let go. However, when the scales tip too far one way due to some unforseen event/s - then every one feels entitled to let you know what they think. Do I go into someone's home and say 'Ohhh, how sterile' or 'Hmmm, don't have much!' or a glance that just lets you know. Hell no!
In light of this it is time to destigmatise the word 'HOARDER'. There are many levels of hoarding and many ways to help without making one feel ashamed. We can have fun you know. So here is a hoarder who wants to support other hoarders through the maze of unloading in a fun positive manner.
After all it is just a process. For some it will take longer than others and we all don't have a TV crew to sweep in for a weekend and voila - instant no mess! It just doesn't happen that way in the real world.
My favourite quote in the regard is "This is not clutter! These are my antiques!'
I was trying to think of positive names for a group where people could share their stories and support each other through a difficult period of 'decluttering' etc. Here are some of them...
- 20 box your way to feel unloaded.
- How to let go without feeling guilty!
- How to outwit the hoarder within...
- Hoarding got me here - Now how to get out!
- Is your hoarding getting the better of you?
- If a person from a 100 sq home had to move into an 11 sq home - does that meant they instantly become a hoarder also? - this one is a tad long and still a work in progress...
The reason for this blog is to show that those that don't keep things that those that do are no different in many ways to them. I myself cannot understand minimalism. It just doesn't compute. It all started from having lots of stuff myself, then storing others gear and then moving in to look after a parent who also had an enormous amount of stuff kept over the years along with their Mum's stuff after they passed on along with some other deceased guys gear. Now how the hell do you minimise from 5 households down to one manageable unit in a small home while living in it and looking after a gravely ill person and children to boot with no support. No mean feat, but have managed to unload alot so far, but much more to still go. But this has not happened without heaps of angst and heartache over the last 4 years. Most of my friends understood to a point and were wonderful. But I can only expect or accept so much from them as they have their own lives to lead. There comes a time when you have to take charge and when that time comes you do know it.
I love giving and knowing that it may or will help others makes it that more easier to purge and release. I even took to taking a photo of some precious thing that had a fond memory attached in order to let the item go. Those in the ravages of these current floods have no choice in the matter - the waters swept their lives from under them. So I plod on toward that picture perfect home I have in my minds eye.
I hope that this will help others to know that we shouldn't feel ashamed. That we just feel things differently and what is so wrong with that. Yes, if what you have is rotting - then that is not good. Yes, if what you have harbours rats, cockroaches and mice etc - then again that is not good also. Yes, if what you have means you or anyone cannot get around to do your usual daily activities etc - then once more that is not good. It is before anyone gets to this point that I am talking about and wish to debunk.
Feel free to chime in and comment - hopefully more in the positive or witty vane. This is meant to be helpful not harmful.
I am now into 4 years of decluttering. It took only a few years prior to that to tip the scales of imbalance and then it was an avalanche. The way in is just as hard as the way out.
How I started was really quite simply - one box at a time - one shelf at a time - one corner at a time. Then cry a little more - then one more box a day later - another tear - another shelf - another day and slowly slowly it starts to change.
While one is in the process of decluttering you do get into what I call a 'holding pattern' of looking as it in a bigger mess. This is part of the process. It means things are moving on out. For some it seems important to handle an item once. This is good if one can achieve it, but I don't dwell on it if I don't get to do that as I know it is one its way out anyway. So I look at the positive rather than beat myself up over it.
It is a process that takes time... and everyone's timeline will vary... it is when others look on and perceive that you 'look like' you have done nothing when in fact you have been a very busy beaver that the hurt comes into play. You know you have filled that rubbish bin with precious memories, but appears no one else believes you. This is where you have to keep on like a Berger Paint and just slog on and one day the doubters begin to see the light. Literally!
Again, it is a process... again, one that takes time and perseverance against those that keep on putting you down.
There is so much more that I could share right now. I shall leave that for another day. Even if I chat to myself - then my 'self' will get to finish the job I started with this blogs support, help and assistance. And if anyone joins in on the way then all the better.
Cheers from an almost liberated hoarder
Anita"
Have achieved some of my goals this year thus far, but all shall be revealed in this next few catch-ups.
Having reminded myself at the start of this year to enjoy the simple things that life offers, along with remember all that I used to do with my big sis, Sylvia, who used positive affirmations and all other manners to keep buoyant in mood, I just have to share some of these as they are so my big sis.
Had to add the wisdom of Yoda.
Carry on laughing. That and Minions make me laugh.
Go to mantra.
Very much a big sis all time favourite mantra.
I remember this one being said to me time and time again over the many long distance telephone calls. Either Sylvia was saying it to me or I was saying it to her.
This one I am still working on. You could call this a 'work in progress'!
I was trying to work out how many cubic meters I have dispatched so far in visual terms....
I will have to work on this as I have to measure the areas that were used and now empty. Suffice, to say I have at least thrown away, given away, recycled much and kept a portion only about a 3 bedroom household and maybe even then some more.
Will do the math at the very end of this journey. If I forget, remind me will you.
These next two I just like as they are appropriate to me.
This first one is that I have had more wonderful people in my life helping me than the alternative during these countless difficult years than I could ever have wished for. I am rich. I am rich in the best few family who have stuck by me and friends I absolutely love with all my heart.
I have no more time for hate, regret or fear as it just takes up far too much energy. I still am grappling with sheer utter sadness, but I am aware enough to work on not being that forever.
So, I am getting busy.
Busy living.
Without as much stuff as possible.
Again, I shall say here at the end, be kind to yourself while going through this process.
After all, Rome was not built in a day and neither does decluttering.
Smile and world smiles with you.
Cheerio
Anita ~ a step closer to that other side of my idea of clutter free!
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