Hi Guys,
In my last blogg I said that the corridor was finally clear and echoed with the vastness of space. Well, I spoke too soon as only a few days later Aija placed what little there was left in her room into the corridor.
At least it was clear for a few days! Should have taken a photo for proof!!!
It is almost a week now since Aija moved back in with us. There are still things to be done to make this transition more comfortable for us all. The loungeroom is back to looking like a dogs breakfast and then there is the corridor along with the carport area to be dealt with. Ahh, more fun to look forward to.
Anyway, a pal, Kez, came over to help me with a few things and to pick up items that I had of hers. She helped me with Aija's TV/DVD and my VHS - yes I said VHS. Aija arrives home from work while we were in the middle of all this and we start talking about my blogg.
I ask Aija, 'Have you read my blogg?'
Her reply was an emphatic, 'I AM LIVING "THE" BLOGG!' What can you say to that!
Anyway, there is still much 'stuff' to be rid of be it rubbish/treasured or otherwise.
In the meantime, there is some home maintenance to be done. My Carport roof in one corner has detached and when the next 100km winds come along I can see it peel off like a top of a can and fly away! Hopefully, the guy who is helping me will still be able to come and reattach it this Saturday along with a few other odd jobs. My son has been living in a room with no bedroom light for over a year now. I need an electrician, but also need the dosh to pay an electrician. Again, hopefully, this problem can be fixed soon, but bear in mind I also said that a year ago.
After that a friend has offered to help with the decluttering during the school holidays for one or two days. Now that Aija is living here she can take the 'stuff' to the Sallies. Very helpful. Fresh eyes is always helpful and now that I am further down the track I think I will be able to deal with how she operates. She is ruthless. But I do trust her. I am just not so sure about me.
Even though this mess was thrust upon me I have found this process to be emotionally difficult still to detach items from emotion/image or memory. This is where the hoarder within attaches to you and holds you back from getting ahead. Most of what I think and feel is normal. Had I not got this huge mess I would be fine. I still have to deal with it. I have been dealing with it for some 3 year now. I am trying not to get negative or bitter about it. I have to realise that there is so much more to go and not to allow this thought and doubts to make me lose momentum. This I know sounds like gobbledigook, but it does describe how it feels.
Patience. And I was never patient!!!
Big ask. Big job. Big deal.
Right now it is all about 'keeping on going' just like Berger paint!
Ironic, how my Carport roof and what I am personally grappling with have a certain symmetry about them. One has to be reattached and the other has to allow detachment. Well, it seems like that to me.
One day at a time, breathe in breathe out and she'll be right.
Onward and outward is my new motto!
Cheers to all
Anita at the halfway mark!
Wednesday, 30 March 2011
Tuesday, 22 March 2011
How many 'one step at a time' add up too?
Hi guys,
I have had so many 'one step at a time' "STEPS" that I am beginning to feel like a 'Step Master'!
Well, maybe not. But you get to a point in the process of handling and dealing with the 'stuff' that you begin to doubt you will ever get to the other end.
Lately, a few of my friends have said, 'You must be feeling better now that you are ploughing through the half way mark'. But to be honest, at this moment 'No'.
It occurred to me, I would often remember my Mum in her palliative bed looking at me with such sadness at leaving me with this ginormous and thankless job ahead and say, 'I am soooo sorrryyy'. She had had to deal with her Mum's house and had intended to deal with hers. Even though she brought alot of her Mum's 'stuff' back to her home and I do suspect she may have struggled herself with the process. But Cancer stopped that intention and took my Mum away 15 to 20 years too soon.
It only just occured to me when my friends said this, that I realised, I will feel better when I don't have boxes all over the place and furniture in my neighbours garage. Only then will I start feeling better about this process.
In the meantime, my daughter Aija and I did go shopping for that bed base and mattress for her, which ended up being fun. It is being delivered one night this week and looks like she will be esconsed back home by the weeks end! And we have managed to do all this without killing each other!!! (...almost)
Last night we dealt with the corridor which is now near empty and echoes! Very strange indeed.
The loungeroom, however, looks like a dogs breakfast once again. There's that holding pattern happening once more. I wont place it back into the corridor as while it is in the loungeroom I will be more inclined and motivated to deal with it, whereas if it stays in the corridor as the saying goes, 'outta sight outta getting rid of time' comes to mind. Yes, I know I have played with that saying a tad, but trust me I get those sayings wrong all the time... I tend to mix 2 and even up to 3 in together and yet they still make sense! Go figure.
Tonight, Aija is cleaning her room. Washing windows, walls and vacuuming. I have washed the curtains and will put them back up and tomorrow night my part in that room for the moment is done once the bed arrives.
Back to the loungeroom. Hmmmm, it will take time to deal with the 'stuff', but being in my face and space it will force me to do so sooner than later. Then for a brief break from the decluttering so my back can recover. After all, I have a job to find as well. But I do have to take advantage of this time to get decluttering done. As once I start work again that will definately get in the way in finding time to deal with and getting rid of 'stuff' big time.
In a way, I am glad my daughter has to move back in for a while. It forced me to deal with the main bedroom that was full to the brim like a storage container! A huge job in itself. And then the last of what's under the carport, shed and neighbours garage. Trust me that is nothing now compared to what I started out with. I had the whole carport full and it is a huge carport (now next to nothing there) along with a full lounge room (storage style) and the dining room chockers. These areas I dealt with first as it affected our day to day living. Suffice it to say that when the loungeroom keeps being encroached annoys me to no end as I feel like I have this constant Groundhog loungeroom feeling.
Dealing with an enormous load like this while living in it is not easy at all. But with time and patience it can be done. The trouble is people think this is the way you 'like' to live, which couldn't be farther from the truth. I try not to think about it and when I find myself saying to whoever comes to see me, 'Oh, please excuse the mess... blah blah blah...' I have to stop myself as I know what is the true story and shouldn't feel ashamed of what was thrust upon me through circumstance. I no longer feel the need to apologise. If those who visit choose to judge me so be it. I know that one day if they find themselves in the same or similar situation they wont be judged by me is all.
If I give it some thought as to the amount of 'steps' so far and to go... well 'one million steps done with a million more to go'!
Am definately at the halfway mark or more and looking forward to the 'feeling better' one day soon.
I will end on a quote that I find funny, but am not wanting to offend others. Hopefully, you will take this in the humour in which it is intended.
'People who live in immaculate houses live dull lives'! anon
Or how I like to put my twist on it 'People who live in immaculate house have hired help.' Anita Sulcs - feel free to use...
Cau to all especially those who have the same struggle
Anita
ps - must admit I liked it as my daughter vacuumed - my back was smiling. My back and I have made a promise... once home is in order set money aside for one luxury... not massages, but cleaning help!!!
I have had so many 'one step at a time' "STEPS" that I am beginning to feel like a 'Step Master'!
Well, maybe not. But you get to a point in the process of handling and dealing with the 'stuff' that you begin to doubt you will ever get to the other end.
Lately, a few of my friends have said, 'You must be feeling better now that you are ploughing through the half way mark'. But to be honest, at this moment 'No'.
It occurred to me, I would often remember my Mum in her palliative bed looking at me with such sadness at leaving me with this ginormous and thankless job ahead and say, 'I am soooo sorrryyy'. She had had to deal with her Mum's house and had intended to deal with hers. Even though she brought alot of her Mum's 'stuff' back to her home and I do suspect she may have struggled herself with the process. But Cancer stopped that intention and took my Mum away 15 to 20 years too soon.
It only just occured to me when my friends said this, that I realised, I will feel better when I don't have boxes all over the place and furniture in my neighbours garage. Only then will I start feeling better about this process.
In the meantime, my daughter Aija and I did go shopping for that bed base and mattress for her, which ended up being fun. It is being delivered one night this week and looks like she will be esconsed back home by the weeks end! And we have managed to do all this without killing each other!!! (...almost)
Last night we dealt with the corridor which is now near empty and echoes! Very strange indeed.
The loungeroom, however, looks like a dogs breakfast once again. There's that holding pattern happening once more. I wont place it back into the corridor as while it is in the loungeroom I will be more inclined and motivated to deal with it, whereas if it stays in the corridor as the saying goes, 'outta sight outta getting rid of time' comes to mind. Yes, I know I have played with that saying a tad, but trust me I get those sayings wrong all the time... I tend to mix 2 and even up to 3 in together and yet they still make sense! Go figure.
Tonight, Aija is cleaning her room. Washing windows, walls and vacuuming. I have washed the curtains and will put them back up and tomorrow night my part in that room for the moment is done once the bed arrives.
Back to the loungeroom. Hmmmm, it will take time to deal with the 'stuff', but being in my face and space it will force me to do so sooner than later. Then for a brief break from the decluttering so my back can recover. After all, I have a job to find as well. But I do have to take advantage of this time to get decluttering done. As once I start work again that will definately get in the way in finding time to deal with and getting rid of 'stuff' big time.
In a way, I am glad my daughter has to move back in for a while. It forced me to deal with the main bedroom that was full to the brim like a storage container! A huge job in itself. And then the last of what's under the carport, shed and neighbours garage. Trust me that is nothing now compared to what I started out with. I had the whole carport full and it is a huge carport (now next to nothing there) along with a full lounge room (storage style) and the dining room chockers. These areas I dealt with first as it affected our day to day living. Suffice it to say that when the loungeroom keeps being encroached annoys me to no end as I feel like I have this constant Groundhog loungeroom feeling.
Dealing with an enormous load like this while living in it is not easy at all. But with time and patience it can be done. The trouble is people think this is the way you 'like' to live, which couldn't be farther from the truth. I try not to think about it and when I find myself saying to whoever comes to see me, 'Oh, please excuse the mess... blah blah blah...' I have to stop myself as I know what is the true story and shouldn't feel ashamed of what was thrust upon me through circumstance. I no longer feel the need to apologise. If those who visit choose to judge me so be it. I know that one day if they find themselves in the same or similar situation they wont be judged by me is all.
If I give it some thought as to the amount of 'steps' so far and to go... well 'one million steps done with a million more to go'!
Am definately at the halfway mark or more and looking forward to the 'feeling better' one day soon.
I will end on a quote that I find funny, but am not wanting to offend others. Hopefully, you will take this in the humour in which it is intended.
'People who live in immaculate houses live dull lives'! anon
Or how I like to put my twist on it 'People who live in immaculate house have hired help.' Anita Sulcs - feel free to use...
Cau to all especially those who have the same struggle
Anita
ps - must admit I liked it as my daughter vacuumed - my back was smiling. My back and I have made a promise... once home is in order set money aside for one luxury... not massages, but cleaning help!!!
Saturday, 19 March 2011
Famous last words!
Hi guys,
Did I say it wont take me long to get going again! Well, was I wrong. I wrote last on 28 February and stated it wouldn't take me long to get started again... well it took almost another 2 weeks before I got started.
Admittedly, being distracted by getting my resume together and other 'Centrelink' requirements to be fulfilled was a distraction among many other things like applying for jobs. Ahh, the distractions of life!
So back to the 'stuff', I finally got stuck into my room. A ton of stuff that I could and did get rid of, along with stuff I should and will Ebay. The last 2 days has been spent solidly getting the last of the main bedroom done and dusted for my daughter to move back in. Where she is staying she was told 'You have 2 weeks' and then we are out of here. OK, that means we have to get out skates on. Nothing like a deadline to get the job done.
Because we are now in a hurry I am boxing things up... and as we do and when I can we have set aside for the rubbish bin still - which is full again and then some on the side waiting to be disposed of. One perpetual cycle. As well as huge bags for the Sallies. But we are not being as thorough as we were prior to this deadline. However, my lovely miss has come to terms with and now understands what it is that I am facing. I feel like I am finally getting through to her. What a relief that will be.
The room is near empty with the few pieces of furniture staying in situ rearranged to suit. Tomorrow wash curtains walls and windows and a final vac. Then off to buy a bed for her and then that part is done.
Ahh, but there is more!
When will this ever end. I have 2 more years to seriously downsize to one household worth of 'the best stuff'. No mean feat when you consider I started out with 4 households worthe of 'stuff' after my gorgeous Mum passed away just over 3 years ago. Have given away about a household worth of 'stuff' and binned another household worth of 'rubbish'. Only have one more household to go!!!
Due to the fact that I have been taking everything out of that huge room some of it has found its way into the corridors and lounge room and so on and now back into an even bigger mess. You will find out that you are forever in this holding pattern of 'looking' like you are always in a mess even though that mess continually changes.
If we get time we will tackle the corridor and anything else we can manage. I might be dreaming though.
I am so glad that this deadline happened as it really did put a bomb under my bum. We have to embrace what is presented no matter how uncomfortable it makes one feel or how difficult it all seems. My back is suffering big time even while wearing the brace and I will have to go to some serious chiropractic sessions to get my spasming muscles to settle down once more, but it will all be worth it.
I can see that even more 'stuff' has gone never to return.
Am in the middle of reading Corinne Grants journey with 'stuff' and it is so similar in so many ways... will elaborate in later updates. You may be wondering why am I reading it while I am to doing it myself... simple... I love a laugh and laughter makes the process more bearable.
So no funny moments this time round other than feeling rather pleased that I got myself started again.
But the paper side is ridiculous. From now on when I get paper it will be dealt with immediately and only file tax stuff. I found in my parents cupboard our original itinerary from when we moved from Albany WA all the way to Melbourne VIC in 1957 for christ sakes. Interesting, but seriously 'WHY'!!!!!! I ask!!!!! Anyway, I have some fantastic retro stuff to sell. My daughter wanted to toss this 'machine' I brought back from the states and as it just so happened I had just asked at a specialist shop what it was worth and several digits were involved... people do not know the value of 'old stuff' and I have more than likely given away and thrown out heaps. But seriously, I couldn't have stored the 'stuff' to sell later on anyway. Better to 'let it go' as the saying goes.
Breathe just remember to breathe... oh that's right my nose is blocked from all the dust and moth balls my Mum loved to use. Now that's another blogg altogether.
Hey, Kez, if you are reading this I have two of your pictures... the one from the UK and the other one. Presume you will want to hang them up in your new digs... hear from you soon.
Wish me luck for my back to last throughout tomorrow. The joy of joys.
Now for a massage.
Cheers all
Anita
- still coming to terms with the mountains ahead!
Did I say it wont take me long to get going again! Well, was I wrong. I wrote last on 28 February and stated it wouldn't take me long to get started again... well it took almost another 2 weeks before I got started.
Admittedly, being distracted by getting my resume together and other 'Centrelink' requirements to be fulfilled was a distraction among many other things like applying for jobs. Ahh, the distractions of life!
So back to the 'stuff', I finally got stuck into my room. A ton of stuff that I could and did get rid of, along with stuff I should and will Ebay. The last 2 days has been spent solidly getting the last of the main bedroom done and dusted for my daughter to move back in. Where she is staying she was told 'You have 2 weeks' and then we are out of here. OK, that means we have to get out skates on. Nothing like a deadline to get the job done.
Because we are now in a hurry I am boxing things up... and as we do and when I can we have set aside for the rubbish bin still - which is full again and then some on the side waiting to be disposed of. One perpetual cycle. As well as huge bags for the Sallies. But we are not being as thorough as we were prior to this deadline. However, my lovely miss has come to terms with and now understands what it is that I am facing. I feel like I am finally getting through to her. What a relief that will be.
The room is near empty with the few pieces of furniture staying in situ rearranged to suit. Tomorrow wash curtains walls and windows and a final vac. Then off to buy a bed for her and then that part is done.
Ahh, but there is more!
When will this ever end. I have 2 more years to seriously downsize to one household worth of 'the best stuff'. No mean feat when you consider I started out with 4 households worthe of 'stuff' after my gorgeous Mum passed away just over 3 years ago. Have given away about a household worth of 'stuff' and binned another household worth of 'rubbish'. Only have one more household to go!!!
Due to the fact that I have been taking everything out of that huge room some of it has found its way into the corridors and lounge room and so on and now back into an even bigger mess. You will find out that you are forever in this holding pattern of 'looking' like you are always in a mess even though that mess continually changes.
If we get time we will tackle the corridor and anything else we can manage. I might be dreaming though.
I am so glad that this deadline happened as it really did put a bomb under my bum. We have to embrace what is presented no matter how uncomfortable it makes one feel or how difficult it all seems. My back is suffering big time even while wearing the brace and I will have to go to some serious chiropractic sessions to get my spasming muscles to settle down once more, but it will all be worth it.
I can see that even more 'stuff' has gone never to return.
Am in the middle of reading Corinne Grants journey with 'stuff' and it is so similar in so many ways... will elaborate in later updates. You may be wondering why am I reading it while I am to doing it myself... simple... I love a laugh and laughter makes the process more bearable.
So no funny moments this time round other than feeling rather pleased that I got myself started again.
But the paper side is ridiculous. From now on when I get paper it will be dealt with immediately and only file tax stuff. I found in my parents cupboard our original itinerary from when we moved from Albany WA all the way to Melbourne VIC in 1957 for christ sakes. Interesting, but seriously 'WHY'!!!!!! I ask!!!!! Anyway, I have some fantastic retro stuff to sell. My daughter wanted to toss this 'machine' I brought back from the states and as it just so happened I had just asked at a specialist shop what it was worth and several digits were involved... people do not know the value of 'old stuff' and I have more than likely given away and thrown out heaps. But seriously, I couldn't have stored the 'stuff' to sell later on anyway. Better to 'let it go' as the saying goes.
Breathe just remember to breathe... oh that's right my nose is blocked from all the dust and moth balls my Mum loved to use. Now that's another blogg altogether.
Hey, Kez, if you are reading this I have two of your pictures... the one from the UK and the other one. Presume you will want to hang them up in your new digs... hear from you soon.
Wish me luck for my back to last throughout tomorrow. The joy of joys.
Now for a massage.
Cheers all
Anita
- still coming to terms with the mountains ahead!
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