Excitement folks, we have a paint date!

Hi Guys,

My daughter is now all moved out and as life has it I am now busy for the next 4 weekends in a row.

How on earth am I going to manage to move into that spare room?  I could, but it needs to be painted first while it is relatively empty.  This is where one has to have a lot of patience.  Time, duties, work and commitments get in the way of doing what you really want to do.

My daughter and her bloke came over last night and we will be going to see some dear friends from way back when who I haven't seen for some years next Saturday together and then after that we will get stuck into the room.

At long last we have a Paint Date! 

First, I have to decide on colours and buy said paint, brushes, rollers and so on to be ready to start next Saturday!  I have heaps of Sugar Soap and my son and I will start washing down the walls tomorrow. 

All very excitement if you ask me.

Once the room is done, dry and dusted and the bed and so forth are in place it will be my old room's turn next.  This one I will be eager to get done as this is where the Sulcs Domino Effect truely takes shape.  I hope to get this one painted as soon as possible to then set up the study room that then means I get the dining table back at last.

In my mind the house is starting to look pretty good and even good enough to start having visitors over!  BBQ anyone?  Maybe later.

This is already sounding time consuming and only looks like happening in October.  Would be nice to have this all sorted by Christmas.  I was hoping to have at least the boxes under the carport sorted before this, but now doesn't look likely.  I have to rethink my timeframe.

Must remember to breathe in breathe out and take it in my stride.  No point stressing and putting myself under undue pressure.  I want to make sure I do it once by doing it properly first time round.

Afterall it is just 'stuff'.

I did see that 60 Minutes programme had a severe hoarder featured a week or so ago.  I did watch parts of it, but this poor chappy was to the Richter scale extreme case of hoarding.  He really was trying to hold onto his families love.  Very sad.  I also could see in him all the classic hallmarks of a hoarder. 

The trouble with hoarders is we see use in most things or dislike waste and are the original ones that really recycled or being spendthrifty.  Now what could be wrong with that?  Plenty when it gets out of hand.  When the scales tip over into being a tip.  Not a good feeling.  One mixed with loss and heartache in there.

The trick is to know what to and what not to hang onto!  With the disclaimer of as long as you have the room to store it appropriately.

Being that I had alot of stuff to start off with when I inherited all of my Mum's stuff along with mounds of material and knitting wool that was Grandmum's as well is what tipped me over the edge into the abyss of a hoarders hell.

I don't blame my Mum or my Grandmum.  It is what it is.  There should be no blame, just understanding. 

I understand that Grandmum was forced to walk away from all her worldly possessions due to WWII and had just a few items by the time she got through that War, Displacement Persons Camp in Germany to when she arrived here in WA, Australia all those years ago.  To her, what she accrued was her wealth and didn't want to lose it again and didn't want to spend unnecessary extra dollars on items you already had.  I come from an ethnic family that recycled everything before it was know as recycled.  We see use in everything.  To me it was normal for stockings to have 10 uses and so on.  Nothing gets or got wasted and kept for that rainy day just in case.

I understand that Mum was of the same ilk as Grandmum, but by the time she inherited her Mum's stuff  she was in her late 60s and felt overwhelmed by the sheer volume of stuff.  My Mum fully intended to go through it all and I watched while helping her to just struggle with this, but it all became too much.  The difference is my Mum packed it in such a way that it was neatly crammed in.  So it didn't appear to be too much.  The line between her stuff and what she kept of her mothers became blurred.  She even took a male friends stuff as she couldn't bear the thought of it being tossed.  Now that task of finding his family to pass on his few treasures and photos is left to me to do.

Mum knew what a daunting task she was passing onto me and what I was about to go through and encounter.  While she was in palliative she constantly would say to me with tears in her eyes how sorry she was that she didn't get the time to deal with it herself and had left it for me.  Really, it should have been Grandmum that dealt with it.  But like I said, there is no blame here.  It is what it is.  Mum knew that my one sister was going to put me through hell with the Will and with all the stuff on top of it along with 2 children with one with medical needs and an ex who left me high and dry that I had too much on my plate to soon be dealing with it all alone. 

Ready or not I got what I got.  I got an older sister who I love die not long after Mum died.  I got the other older sister who was vile and toxic towards me without thought for anything other than herself.  I got to be all alone without the emotional support that I had been blessed with till then.  I got to come to terms with and work past the overwhelming sheer volume of stuff that I was presented with and live amongst.  I had no other choice.  I got to know who really loves you.  I got to know who lives the truth to your face. 

In other words I got to grow up. 

It was either that or wallow and I wasn't about to go there.

This journey has lasted longer that I would have hoped.  I am so glad that I got to tell Mum that it was OK that I got to do all the work and am glad that I did as now looking back, no matter how hard it has been and it has been, I know Mum is resting peacefully knowing she left her worldly possessions in good hands to be dealt with love. 

I am glad that I get to do what Mum would have found far more difficult than me to do.  All the material, christmas paper, knitting wool and so on would still be here if Mum was still alive.  Of this I am sure.  All has gone to the Salvation Army long ago.  There are some items I wish I hadn't gotten rid of I will admit, but I don't dwell on that as much any more.  I use this when going through what is now so that I don't regret.  Amazingly, this has meant I toss more not less.  True!

This massive learning curve thrust upon me has in some ways been the best and worst thing in my life.  I do not, nor care to unwish it.  The only thing I would wish for is the energy required to do what is left in a shorter time.  A gal can wish can't she?

Well there you go.  Next week will be the painting duds on and roller up and start cutting in with the brushes. 

All systems a go...

Chiz all
Anita who will have her tool belt on very soon!

The 'Sulcs Domino Effect' versus the 'Domino Theory'!

Hi Guys,

I have news of much importance. 

Both sad and glad mixed in there together. 

My daughter and her boyfriend announced to us the other day that she will be moving out earlier than anticipated, which was meant to be in January next year.  Hence the sad and glad. 

The race will be on and out of the blocks.

So why is this important you ask. 

Well! 

This means the 'Sulcs Domino Effect' is about to take a tumble.

As Eisenhouser related the 'Domino Theory' to what can happen with communism ... and see how that worked out for them back then.  Conspiracies abounded and all sorts of antics to thwart said invasion.

Well, instead of  'Theory' mine will be the 'Sulcs Domino Effect' in reverse. 

Once this happens in September, I will have to take advantage and paint the room, which is much needed.  Then I move into said room and then paint my room, hence the domino.  Then we get the last items from my neighbours garage and can use the table for the new computer room.  The computer moves from the Dining Room table to the computer room.  All paperwork gets placed into said computer room to be sorted, discarded and dealt with and only what is important goes into the filing cabinet.  No more, no less.

And it just keeps on going.  Items will be moved, which makes more room elsewhere.  Gotta love this!

Now when I deal with the last of my boxes, I will be able to trully get more ruthless with discarding as I know what I want where.

I can hear some of my pals laugh at me stating that I will be 'ruthless'.  Oh, ye of little faith!  But you shall see the results in the end with a partee to end all partees!  This will be my reward at the end for me and all my supporters and helpers.  Something other than decluttering to look forward to.  A reward that is pleasurable.

This move forward will be welcome, as this means this Christmas we will be using the Dining Room for the first time since Mum died in 2007. 

She will be pleased that at long last all this is starting to take shape.  Mum knew the mess she had left me with and kept apologising to me over and over again the last few months of her life. 

I didn't want her to feel bad, but rather proud that she had achieved so much with a life that traversed continents, experienced war at the epicentre and suffered losses beyond comprehension and still made a family home and 3 well fed and loved children, 2 of which appreciated her fully at the end.  I reassured her I would be fine.  But she knew.  She was no fool.  She even warned and prepared me for my one sister.  Surprisingly, Mum was 100% accurate about this.  A mother knows her children and you cannot hide from that.  I knew Mum had been working her way through the 'stuff' herself, albeit much slower and had not intended to leave the bulk of the work to me.  Cancer robbed her of 15 to 20 years off her life.

Here we are in the lounge room.  I love this shot as Mum looks so good and we all look goofy.  Behind us on one side is a Stereo Unit from the 60s that I still have that is one of the items in the neighbours garage and plan to keep.  The other you will spot a 60s lamp which has a table lower down that looks very the Jetsons Cartoon era and takes pride of place in the Dining Room.  Very retro!

Here is a shot of us about a year or so before the worst hit us like a ton of bricks.

You work all your life and you would expect to be of reasonable health afterwards wouldn't you!

Not for my gorgeous Mum.  A chemical she worked with gave her liver cancer that slowly kills you.  Very like Asbestos does to the lungs this particular chemical goes straight for the liver.  To think you work to make a life and the very company you work for for years knowingly lets you work with a chemical (carbo tetra chloro ethaline) without any protection of any kind that then robs you of your twilight years of around 15 to 20 years.  Beggers disbelief. 

This chemical shortens your life dramatically and the end is not peaceful or kind.  Just freaking revolting.  To say I am mad as hell is an understatement.  However, there is little we could do as Mum had to be alive to make any legal battle stick and we only had months left by the time we found out what had happened and been done to her.  The said company executives knew all those years ago and even went off shore to avoid litigation like the asbestos guys... let's hope karma weaves it's work its way to those who decided to ignore.

But these were the cards we were dealt with and we just have to play what we got the best way we could and knew how.

Also, update on the hard rubbish.  All gone as of 3 days ago.  First the chairs got taken.  Secondly the airconditioner went.  Thirdly anything metal went.  Funny thing is as I mentioned before my mound grew a chair, keyboards, gloves and so forth.  But it all went.  Feels good. 

Next as you know will be getting the garden back into shape. 

I will be one busy gal with both inside and the outside to contend with.  It will be all worth it in the end.

In amongst all this, I still need to move the lounge room around to work better for easier flow through.  All fun, but still means more work. 

One good thing is we now have a functioning laundry, which is really working well as to how I have currently set it up.  Will have to still rejig as we go, but that can go on the back burner for now.

The last bastion to tackle will be the Kitchen/Dining Room. 

I think I will get my house whisperer Kim to come back to assist me with ideas as this area is still very much ruled by Mum's presence and does my head in.  I will let Kim know how I would like the kitchen to be as she seems to be able to translate your end thought very well with what is there and still get rid of much.  But till we get through all of the above that will just have to wait also.

Being that we now have hot water and proper heating it would be nice to have a stove that works propery as well.  Boy, am I wishing for alot!  Again, this will have to wait till I save some much needed dosh for it.  Something to work towards though.

As you can tell the 'Sulcs Domino Effect' effects everything and is forever ongoing and relentless and always has offshutes to other things to get done.

More than likely there will be many mini posts over this flurry period. 

And am going to love and hate it all at the same time. The process that is.

Learning to 'let it go' is never easy, but the pain is certainly worth it.  I am just glad that I decided to be kind to myself by going at my pace as time and energy allowed and let it all hang out for all to see. 

It isn't as bad as one would think.  People knowing that is.  Many have come up to me at all sorts of functions and places and say and always quitely how much they admire my openess about 'clutter' and about 'hoarding'.  I hope in some way I am destigmatising this.  But like Mental Illness we feel compelled to hide it as we 'think' we will be shunned. 

To me this is a one day at a time situation.  People in general will either be kind or not, which just tells me more about who they are.  Very revealing if you ask me.

One day you could be rich and the next day lost it all.  Who is still at your side after that?  Amazing what one finds out when it happens.

Since starting this blog to 'let it all hang out' and also keep me motivated through the mountain of stuff  that was Mt. Everest huge and also to help destigmatise the word 'hoarders' as well, I haven't looked back or felt put down ever. 

Not all hoarders are to the severe end of the scale.  But no matter at what end you are it can be done by just taking it in your stride.

After this next flurry I still have mountains of boxes to go through.  These are all in the shed and in the attic.  The shed first and attic last.  Then and only then am I done.  I predict at least a few more years of 'stuff' to get through. Yeesch!

Oh well, I will just keep on blogging then.

This was going to be short, but I got sidetracked.  Apols for that.

Till next time guys.

Cheers
Anita

Funny what one discovers!

Hi Guys,

Had to do a mini update on my last blog. 

This will be brief and sweet. 

Remember that Triffid that was taking over my backyard.  Well it has been tamed.

Here is a reminder of what was a 'take over'!

Well, here is the same space after clearing out said Triffid...

Looks weird for starters and I had totally forgotten about the pathway that has not been seen since the year after Dad passed away early 2002.  He would be pleased.  Mum would be to a point, but not about the plants being drastically cut back.

Same pozy from the side of Dad's handy work with cement.

My daughter's boyfriend was hacking away and luckily stopped to investigate and didn't smash this next find.  My Dragon! 

Happy and lucky that my Dragon was finally uncovered.

Mum and Dad really had one main argument and that was 'to prune or not to prune'. 

Dad was the radical pruner (he was from the city).  Mum less harsh a pruner (she was more country seaside). 

This line of where to 'cut' was always discussed vigorously and on the odd occasion almost heatedly.

At least now we can use the back door once more.

What started all this was my daughter's boyfriend came to finish placing the remaining items out onto the hard rubbish collection and got sidetracked at wanting to get the one pathway free to use!  Little did we know.  Some items are still in the backyard due to a sudden downpour, but there is still one last opportunity to finish it off and that is next weekend. 

After which it will be a long long one year wait till the next collection organised by this council.

Things are starting to take shape. 

Soon we rearrange the lounge to better utilise the space and we will be making a start on the bones of the outside after the rubbish is taken away.

By the way all plastic chairs got 'taken' the very night they were put out.  Next to go was the innards of the air conditioner.

Strange thing is my pile has grown over the last week. 

It really is a miracle! 

That is the power of rubbish.  However, why said people cannot place it outside their own homes as it will be collected anyway baffles me!

Did you know all Lama's deficate in the same communal spot!  Just an interesting point.  

Still hard at work with my new day job with little time to expand at this moment. 

Till the next instalment.

Cheers
Anita who has tamed her Triffid!