WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS!

Hi Guys,

I haven't found my motivation as yet, but haven't completely lost it either.  Thank goodness.

Life can be kind at times and by personal experience can be extremely cruel and cold hearted. 

I have had so much thrown at me in the last month that normally would have me down and out for the count for some time in the past.  All the work on the home front and 'me' front must be working, as somehow I have kept going.  And I have my family and friends to thank for that!

As one gets older you begin to see a pattern.  People come and go, either by choice or circumstance and when it is a choice, we have then choices about what we will do about it or not.  For some you fight.  For some you have to let go.  For some it was simply not meant to be.  For some who take you by surprise there is no more that can be done.  For some you will forever hold in your heart.  And some even come back.

I work at keeping my friends as I treasure each and every one.  Even those that I have lost.  Friendship is hard to come by and should not be taken for granted.  As for family, those that are left and chose to be at my side, I love dearly and forever in my heart.

If it wasn't for them, I would not have gotten to where I have.  All that and remembering to just 'breathe'.

First off, my children.  My daughter and her ever gorgeous boyfriend and my son all helped on the hard rubbish day.  I was so 'not' up for it due to many horrors, but they pitched in and the 'triffid' is now a thing of the past.  I had no illusions that dealing with this massive ball of twine would take some effort and time.  And it did.  The two men worked long and hard.  As for myself and daughter, we decided to deal with what was in the car and under the carport as it had gotten into a bit of a mess due to all the market stuff.  

We piled the gear out of what was in the car from the last market day and sorted all the clothing to go to the Salvation Army.  Too much effort for no return and taking up space.  We ended up with the bins filled to the brim with more to be taken to the Sallies and the car cleaned out and repacked for when I next go to market, but the carport area was still a tad in disarray.  But it felt good to get something done rather than nothing achieved.

Behind the car is was what was left that was taken to the Salvation Army.

Still in a mess.  As the cleaning lady in that TV ad would say 'Oh, Mr. Hart!  What a mess!'

Here is the mass we affectionately called the 'Triffid' the second.

Just some twigs that are left.

And bound for hard rubbish collection.  The heater and dog house got taken within a day.

Have continued to sort through papers and tossing and filing as I go.  The perpetual merri-go-round continues within my lounge room, where I sit some nights going through with a rubbish bag next to me on a regular basis.

Some of my friends asked whether there was something I needed help with and two of my gal pals came over yesterday to help me sort the mess from all the market stuff on one side and hopefully some more order to the mess in general, so I can continue to deal with it on my own over the months to come.

This was the mess early Sunday.

Later that day and now starting to look a little better.

We swept the leaves away that had built up over winter and found that the prickles from one of my Mum's cacti were making us itch in a nasty way.  Rule of thumb when doing this type of work and that is cover with long sleeves and gloves as apart from the prickles the spiders were a happy little bunch until we disturbed them and I don't want to land back in hospital and close to death ever again by a spider bite.

I had visions of grandeur and thought we would get through the lot that day.  What happened to me?  What was I thinking?  It is this very thinking that makes you get down and stop.  I had to rethink my thinking and take stock that there is still much to be done and not to rush the process.  Be kind to thy self!

It was at this point that my friend gave me a bag to look at and even though I didn't think it would affect me, it did.  At the end of next month it will be six years since my beautiful Mum died and it was her toiletry bag from the Palliative hospital that was handed to me.  It was left just as is and there was her toothbrush, soap and other personal items and then her hair brush still with her hair within.  It affected me more than I would have expected.  Luckily we had gone as far as we could've by this time and I was grateful that my pals had had enough also.

There will be such moments that emotionally affect you and even if you are ready or not you have to accept it and still move on or fight on.  The end goal is what one is striving for.  Also, it does help to heal by remembering and then letting it go.

Sorting the disorganised organised mess.

Looking much better.  Less and less each time.  The bins are all full with more rubbish to go in after this weeks pick up.

Wish I could find the photo from the start of this journey as all that space used to be full of boxes.  And now down to only this.  

This is why it is important to document visually your progress.  It has just helped me keep hanging onto my reason to stay motivated.  

As promised here is my Magnolia Bush.

Next will be to deal with what was placed in the lounge once again for me to go through at night.  Not every night.  But most nights.  

Slowly slowly I am getting through all this stuff.  

In the meantime, the course that I am doing I am finding very difficult as there is so much work to get done and crammed into a short space of time.  I know I will make a good Trainer as I love helping others.  Just hope I get a chance at doing just that.

So a big thank you to my darling two children and daughter's boyfriend and my friends who have stuck by me through thick, thin, tears, up and downs and still there and chose to put up with me.  I love you all very much.

Bye from me for the moment while I get over this last episode and retire to the couch to sort through more paperwork and homework.

Next will be more weeding.

Cheers all
Anita who is hard at study.

NEW FOUND REASON TO PURGE!

Hi Guys,

As promised I haven't left too big a gap in time to write about my 'stuff'.  

Haven't bothered to ask before, but it would be interesting to know how many that do read my blog have the same or similar issues that I have had since gaining my overload, or avalanche of 'stuff'.  

Did it happen slowly.  

Did it start after a stressful time.  

Is something that you got landed with all of a sudden.  

Did you find yourself in a relationship with one who has these issues.  

No matter the reason how, when, where or why it still happened and it still sucks big time.

Ready or not it is not an easy issue to deal with once the ball starts rolling down that proverbial hill that then feels like Mt. Everest.  

Time made it happen and time is what is needed to unravel from it also.

I am now about to set off into a whole new career.  Thought the last one was going to be 'it'.  But 'it' and the economy have other ideas.  The job that I had as a Pharmacy Sales Representative meant I had 'stuff' called sample product in storage along with pamphlets and other items for shelves and window displays and so on in my home.  Plus all the paperwork and training material that went with them.  Yes, you guessed it, this on top of my inherited 'stuff'.  

Totally the worst career one could have who already had too much 'stuff' and a storage issue to boot.

Now that I have accepted that the pharmaceutical world is in a bit of a downer turn, I have had to look elsewhere for employment.  

I participated in a course recently that was far too simple for my skills and I learnt nothing.  I did, however, help the Trainer in assisting and helping my fellow students with the said information.  I was annoyed at the time that I had wasted my time.  Or so I thought.  The Trainer had in the meantime, put my name forward to be a Trainer and have since been offered to do another course, this time the other end of the spectrum and extremely full on and difficult, so I can then qualify as a Trainer and Assessor, which apparently is a much sought after Certificate.

Hence, the opportunity for purging.  I am no longer holding onto this material as support for any future pharmaceutical positions.  This will mean a huge chunk will be out in the recylce bins.  This is an easy one and means the overload will diminish so much faster.

It has now been over 6 years since the real serious start to my decluttering and downsizing began.  I have learnt that it doesn't happen overnight.  I have also realised that you have to keep your humour and be kind to yourself while going through this what seems to be a very slow process when the task ahead is so gargantuan and appears unachievable at first.

I have bravely posted photos to push me further.  Once out there I just had to do it.  If this helps then I totally encourage one to do the same.  We are all capable of being complacent.  Some more than others.  Do whatever it takes.  You know you better than any one else.

For those who do not have this issue yet and if ever, I have heard privately from those who have always had pristine homes with clear bench tops and clear corridors and one day overnight when several elderly relatives passed, found themselves in overload with duties that they had never considered before having to do and were quite angry with the one's who had died and left it all to them.  I try to explain they are for a start at least 20 years younger and more energetic than the dearly departed.  I also point out if left all alone and no one visited them then what point was there to keep the place 'nice'.  Also as people age so does their eyesight and they don't always see the space like a younger person does.  There may have been a multitude of reasons why, but why be angry now.  What's done is done.  Anger and judgement achieve nothing.  

There is always a reason why it happens.  

Clutter is a perception by some as one item to the other end of the spectrum to not being able to open a door to a room and so on.

Instead of getting bogged down in accusations and once it happens, try to help those you see going down that road well before that happen,s as usually it means they cannot cope and need the assistance.  If they refuse to let go of things that you think mean nothing, then be kind about how you get that elder person to let go.  It may take time, but tackle one section at a time with them.  For example, one drawer that can hardly be pulled open.  You empty the contents and sort into the obvious titles - precious, sentimental, useful and still used, might come in handy and the last being broken, chipped or torn, which essentially will be the rubbish pile and to be tossed.  You then place back the items up to still used and if the draw is full you then say the handy goes to charity and anything from broken to tossed gets placed in the rubbish bin at your place and not theirs as they may be tempted to take a peek and retrieve what has been tossed.  

This is only when the problem is starting that this usually works.  Once you get way passed this point there is no point. 

I myself have struggled and that is partly due to feeling overwhelmed by what I had to do and knowing how long it was going to take - and that was forever.  Also, I was grieving.  I was grieving the many close much loved persons I lost from my life.  Some of my friends understood this and some didn't.  I have worked through what I have had to and become the new me and in having allowed myself that time to process my emotions I can see that I am better able to let more items or 'stuff' go.  No need to be traumatised.

You wont know how long this process will end up taking, but be assured it usually is longer than you at first estimate.  That is why you have to be kind to yourself.  I cannot state that enough.

Many know the reasons why people hold onto things.  

One being they lived through the war years where there was shortage of everything.  

Another, being living on the bread line or lived in poverty.  

Another can be simply security of knowing you wont have to buy it.  

Mending things has gone out of fashion.  I remember darning my socks at a young age with my wooden mushroom.  Who does that any more.  I now have 3 such wooden mushrooms.  Do I throw them out or keep them.  I remember my Mum unravelling old jumpers to wash that wool till it was straight once more to be reknitted into some other useful item.  Nothing went to waste.  Be it food, clothes or hardware like wood, crockery etc.  We had fruit trees and grew vegetables and pickled them and made jams that got stored.  I remember when plastic bags came about and yes you guessed it they were used to be mini hot houses or such for the vegie patch.  Stocking were used to tie up the taller plants.  Everything was recycled in my parents household and generations before them.  So my issue was a generational thing and handed down to me due to my culture.  All about saving the penny.  Why spend if you don't have to.  

My parents just did not understand this throw away society.  

I have stopped going to the markets for the moment so I can organise my stuff into sections.  Such as a day of all materials, a day of all christmas stuff, a day of all toys and so on and start again in late October to get into the pre Christmas spirit.  Now that the election is over and people were hanging onto their hard earneds for dear life there may be some who have now relaxed their grip on their purse strings.  At least I am hoping.

Back to my new future job as a Trainer and Assessor which will start next year and has meant there now is a silver lining to having embraced yet another new career.  And that lining is, I get to purge and toss more 'stuff' out.

Now that is a good thing.

Till next time, just remember it is not what others think that matters, for they may also go through this in their families future and we can only concentrate on our selves first and foremost.  Just think of you and what you can do and go with that plan.  Even if it means it will take years to get there.  Document it via photos and you will be amazed looking back how much you really have achieved.  Otherwise, you will keep on thinking you haven't done much and think what's the point, when you actually have done much.  

No one knows what we will encounter in our lives.  No one can be sure.  

One thing I am sure of is that I am letting it go... albeit bit by bit by bit. 

 And a bit is better than nothing.

Cheers to you all and happy to be an ear if you need

Anita