HHH 6 YEAR IN REVIEW and SECOND CATCH UP CONTINUING WITH JANUARY & FEBRUARY 2017

Hi Guys,

Been busy with the last of the boxes.  Oh, I am getting ahead of myself.

Here is the second load of posts from January and February earlier this year.  Some more philosophical and others more practical.

Being that all the tools were still out in the backyard on top of and under tarps was getting me down.  I was still working out how to get the rest of the carport finalised without Wendy's professional assistance.  By this time, my children were organising a belated, very belated, 60th birthday celebration and calling it my '21st + 40', to be held in early February.

In the meantime, I posted this late January to remind me what mattered most.

Here is what I shared:-

"29 January · 

Posted this favourite poem 6 years ago now. Nine years ago my bliss's Mum shared this with me and became my go to ever since and remains one of my top loved poems. 

'What Will Matter' poem by Michael Josephson.

Here is the poem for those who may find it difficult to see:-

Ready or not, someday it will all come to an end. 
There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.
All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten will pass to someone else.
Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.
It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear.
So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to do lists will expire.
The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
It won't matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.
It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin colour will be irrelevant.
So What Will Matter?
How will the value of your days be measured?
What will matter is not what you bought but what you built, not what you got but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that endriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.
What will matter is not your competence but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when your gone.
What will matter is not your memories but the memories that live in those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.
Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident.
It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.
Choose to live a life that matters."

                            

In the end, you alone can decide what matters most.  I know my answer.

At the same time, I was still sleeping in the lounge room.  No biggie, but was getting close onto a year and my rehabilitation had well and truly come to an end and time to get back in my own room.

However, my room had become a convenient dumping ground.  This was my next project.  Project bedroom.  And so I made tracks to making this happen around this time prior to my birthday party.

Here is my next entry posted 30 January 2017 stating that achievement:-

"30 January · 

Guess who slept in her own bedroom for the first time since 25 February 2016 last night? Lounge room will now once again be a lounge room without a bed in it. I am one happy little camper. This means the decluttering is progressing. More stuff moving on out, while I moved back in."

You can tell I am one happy vegemite with all the things I love around and behind me.  Must say, nothing quite like your own bed in your own bedroom after nearly a year.  Was sweet dreams for sure.

Then I posted on the anniversary of what would have been 6 years of my HHH Blog on 7 February 2017.  Even though my journey with the 'stuff' was over 9 years by this stage and it was only out of sheer frustration at appearing to make no progress and finding no positive sites about 'stuff and hoarding issue and problems', that I decided to let it all hang out and start my own blog to get it all off my chest and hopefully out of my life, as in home front, to help myself get this task of such gargantuan proportions done.  There was not much out there other than those with shame and fear attached regarding this area.  And that sure was not motivating me!

I have a few brave followers whom may understand what I am eluding to here.  I have so many looking and reading my blog, but you would not know it from my outwardly stats.  I can tell you differently, which you will soon see soon if you read on.  

Here is what I posted 7 February this year as follows:-

"7 February · 

HHH 6 year Review.

Time for yet one more trip down memory lane. My goodness how time flies.

Started this 'Hoarders Helping Hoarders' blog without knowing what I was doing at the time.

HHH helped spur me on, which was my original intent, along with lessening the shame attached to the word 'hoarder'.

It sure has been a long journey and am now finally closer to that finish line all these years on and spoken to the most loveliest of people around the world. Even helped some along the way. Sadly not many dare to comment such is the stigma attached to one little word. Still, never cease to be amazed at the corners of the world that take an interest about such a shunned topic.

Since this day I have had over 27,000 views not including me, with some posts most favoured being photos of my daughters feet! I have 11 brave followers, with many more contacting me privately and in secret.

The most viewed of all my entries has been on checklists etc from 17 May 2014 as at 2017. However, this first fledgling entry shared here, in all its naiveness, is my favourite. I named the blog Hoarders Helping Hoarders not knowing at the time that I had named the entry I was writing the same as the blog as well. I didn't change either and it has remained the same ever since.

My most views have come from America with Australia second and then in third place Russia.

Other countries not in any order have been from UK, Germany, France, Ukraine, Poland, Netherlands, Italy, Greece, Egypt, Latvija, Lithuania, New Zealand, Spain, Slovenia and many other Europe countries.  Canada, USA, Alaska, El Salvador, Mexico, Colombia, Argentina and many from the America's.  India, Indonesia,Thailand, Cambodia, Malaysia, China, Nepal, Bhutan, United Arab Emirates, Japan, Phillipines, South Africa and parts of Asia and African continents.  Even Antarctica has had a check in at one time.  Which only tells how universal this issue of 'stuff' has become.

I have written 84 entries so far, covering each year with something to be said. However, last year, I only had the one entry due to ill health. Even so, progress had still been on-going.

On reflection, this blog, that I thought no one would look at or take an interest in, has kept me going and for that I am thankful that it worked in my favour.

I am aiming to be at the tail end of this declutter journey by the end of this year. By then, it will be 10 years since I inherited this massive problem and feel it will be a fitting round amount of years to have been dealing with it all.

Last year, I was granted funding via Salvocare and Partners in Recovery for a professional to come help speed up my pace. In comes Wendy of 'Skeletons In The Closet'. Wow.  It worked.

I must say how grateful I am to Salvocare and Partners in Recovery (now Wellways), for that funding that was so graciously provided. Due to this funding, I am now a lot further than I otherwise would have been. I have only just a fraction left under the carport left to deal with. I know I can no longer do this outside part on my own so have decided to try and sell a few things to get the much needed money for the carport area to be sorted and finalised with the professionals help quickly.

Wish me luck.

I will start selling a few things for at least two to three sessions. I know that should be enough to get me to my end goal as far outside goes.

Then I get cracking on the inside.

That is the plan and aim for 2017 to have a fresh slate for 2018.

Thank you to all of you who have taken the time to read all or parts of my humble blog that many would never mention nor admit out loud. I don't mind at all. Mums the word. Just as long as it has helped even one of you then I am satisfied.

Shall recommence my blog entries as of March to catch you all up on what I was busy achieved whilst recuperating and adjusting to my partial blindness. Then onto the motivation on the inside.

Then I truly am at the end game stage.

Cheers from Anita who had shared her life out on the front lawn."

As you can see, many many people around the world check and look in on my blog.  Now, end of October, I have reached just over 30,000 views, not including me, with 86 posts soon 87 and now 13 followers in just over 6 years.  For an unspoken, never to be mentioned topic, there sure are a lot of people around the world looking at this said shamed topic.

Also, I did mention above the idea was to commence my posts here in HHH back in March.  But, it was not to be.  Several reasons.  First, was my eye complication was and still is playing havoc and me adjusting to it still.  Second, I just wanted to get on here and say, 'I did it'!  'I am done under the carport'!.  'Finally, finished with the outside stage of this journey'.  That was the plan anyway.  Instead, life got in the way.  However, my progress never stopped.  May have slowed down, but never stopped.

Have I mention having a sense of humour is essential?  Had to laugh when I saw this bed.  How many could relate, whether a hobby person or one which loads to hide in plain sight!  Humour is a wonderful way to deal with this journey and I have needed loads of it.

Some of my recent finds in my sorting and purging process.

Found this magnifier come monocle in one of my recent sort/purge sessions, which has come in handy at the right time.  Question is, how did I know some 13 years ago I would have needed this now?  Still pondering that one.

And here we have Mr. Perfect.  Found Mr. Perfect tucked away 8 years ago in one of my many boxes that I finally got to open.  Mr. Perfect says all the right things.

  

Hope this works so you can have a listen...

https://www.facebook.com/anita.sulcs/videos/10156584494653238/

If it does not work this time, will try to work on it for the next entry.  Mr. Perfect is a hoot.

Here is a reminder of my very first post:-

"SUNDAY, 6 FEBRUARY 2011

Hoarder's Helping Hoarder's!

Hi Guys,

This is the first and official opening of a hoarders blog...  Will try and get this to link into Facebook eventually, but will need time to get to that.

In the meantime, I think it is time for those of us who have 'too much stuff of any sort' to place a positive spin on the name or word 'HOARDER'!

Most of the time no one would know who you are or even know you like to keep or collect or find it just that little bit harder to let go.  However, when the scales tip too far one way due to some unforseen event/s - then every one feels entitled to let you know what they think.  Do I go into someone's home and say 'Ohhh, how sterile' or 'Hmmm, don't have much!' or a glance that just lets you know.  Hell no!

In light of this it is time to destigmatise the word 'HOARDER'.  There are many levels of hoarding and many ways to help without making one feel ashamed.  We can have fun you know.  So here is a hoarder who wants to support other hoarders through the maze of unloading in a fun positive manner.

After all it is just a process.  For some it will take longer than others and we all don't have a TV crew to sweep in for a weekend and voila - instant no mess!  It just doesn't happen that way in the real world.

My favourite quote in the regard is "This is not clutter!  These are my antiques!'

I was trying to think of positive names for a group where people could share their stories and support each other through a difficult period of 'decluttering' etc.  Here are some of them...

- 20 box your way to feel unloaded.

- How to let go without feeling guilty!

- How to outwit the hoarder within...

- Hoarding got me here - Now how to get out!

- Is your hoarding getting the better of you?

- If a person from a 100 sq home had to move into an 11 sq home - does that meant they instantly become a hoarder also?        -  this one is a tad long and still a work in progress...

The reason for this blog is to show that those that don't keep things that those that do are no different in many ways to them.  I myself cannot understand minimalism.  It just doesn't compute.  It all started from having lots of stuff myself, then storing others gear and then moving in to look after a parent who also had an enormous amount of stuff kept over the years along with their Mum's stuff after they passed on along with some other deceased guys gear.  Now how the hell do you minimise from 5 households down to one manageable unit in a small home while living in it and looking after a gravely ill person and children to boot with no support.  No mean feat, but have managed to unload alot so far, but much more to still go.  But this has not happened without heaps of angst and heartache over the last 4 years.  Most of my friends understood to a point and were wonderful.  But I can only expect or accept so much from them as they have their own lives to lead.  There comes a time when you have to take charge and when that time comes you do know it.

I love giving and knowing that it may or will help others makes it that more easier to purge and release.  I even took to taking a photo of some precious thing that had a fond memory attached in order to let the item go.  Those in the ravages of these current floods have no choice in the matter - the waters swept their lives from under them.  So I plod on toward that picture perfect home I have in my minds eye.

I hope that this will help others to know that we shouldn't feel ashamed.  That we just feel things differently and what is so wrong with that.  Yes, if what you have is rotting - then that is not good.  Yes, if what you have harbours rats, cockroaches and mice etc - then again that is not good also.  Yes, if what you have means you or anyone cannot get around to do your usual daily activities etc - then once more that is not good.  It is before anyone gets to this point that I am talking about and wish to debunk.

Feel free to chime in and comment - hopefully more in the positive or witty vane.  This is meant to be helpful not harmful.

I am now into 4 years of decluttering.  It took only a few years prior to that to tip the scales of imbalance and then it was an avalanche.  The way in is just as hard as the way out.

How I started was really quite simply - one box at a time - one shelf at a time - one corner at a time.  Then cry a little more - then one more box a day later - another tear - another shelf  - another day and slowly slowly it starts to change.

While one is in the process of decluttering you do get into what I call a 'holding pattern' of looking as it in a bigger mess.  This is part of the process.  It means things are moving on out.  For some it seems important to handle an item once.  This is good if one can achieve it, but I don't dwell on it if I don't get to do that as I know it is one its way out anyway.  So I look at the positive rather than beat myself up over it.

It is a process that takes time...  and everyone's timeline will vary...  it is when others look on and perceive that you 'look like' you have done nothing when in fact you have been a very busy beaver that the hurt comes into play.  You know you have filled that rubbish bin with precious memories, but appears no one else believes you.  This is where you have to keep on like a Berger Paint and just slog on and one day the doubters begin to see the light.  Literally!

Again, it is a process...  again, one that takes time and perseverance against those that keep on putting you down.

There is so much more that I could share right now.  I shall leave that for another day.  Even if I chat to myself - then my 'self' will get to finish the job I started with this blogs support, help and assistance.  And if anyone joins in on the way then all the better.

Cheers from an almost liberated hoarder
Anita"

Have achieved some of my goals this year thus far, but all shall be revealed in this next few catch-ups.    

Having reminded myself at the start of this year to enjoy the simple things that life offers, along with remember all that I used to do with my big sis, Sylvia, who used positive affirmations and all other manners to keep buoyant in mood, I just have to share some of these as they are so my big sis.

Had to add the wisdom of Yoda.

Carry on laughing.  That and Minions make me laugh.

Go to mantra.

Very much a big sis all time favourite mantra.

I remember this one being said to me time and time again over the many long distance telephone calls.  Either Sylvia was saying it to me or I was saying it to her.

This one I am still working on.  You could call this a 'work in progress'!

        

I was trying to work out how many cubic meters I have dispatched so far in visual terms....

                                                             

 


I will have to work on this as I have to measure the areas that were used and now empty.  Suffice, to say I have at least thrown away, given away, recycled much and kept a portion only about a 3 bedroom household and maybe even then some more.

Will do the math at the very end of this journey.  If I forget, remind me will you.

These next two I just like as they are appropriate to me.

This first one is that I have had more wonderful people in my life helping me than the alternative during these countless difficult years than I could ever have wished for.  I am rich.  I am rich in the best few family who have stuck by me and friends I absolutely love with all my heart.

I have no more time for hate, regret or fear as it just takes up far too much energy.  I still am grappling with sheer utter sadness, but I am aware enough to work on not being that forever.

So, I am getting busy.

Busy living.

Without as much stuff as possible.

Again, I shall say here at the end, be kind to yourself while going through this process.

After all, Rome was not built in a day and neither does decluttering.

Smile and world smiles with you.

Cheerio
Anita ~ a step closer to that other side of my idea of clutter free!

FIRST CATCH UP STARTING FROM NOVEMBER 2016

Hi Guys,

Going to go back in time to catch you all up on my last years posts I shared on my facebook site about my then efforts with all the trials and tribulations.  It has been a most interesting year that has proven to be more good than not as far as dealing and purging of the abundant 'stuff'.  The previous year set the ground work and momentum being that I was granted funding for assistance from a specialist in this field.  Due to a belated birthday celebration and my children organising a way to gain the essential funds so I could continue with said momentum was able to secure several more sessions with said specialist to make it possible to finish under the carport and start on the inside.

This catch up takes as back to November 2016.

The following was shared on my personal facebook page where I was posting about my progress.  I was not up to writing any entries on here due to how it affected my eye.  Which has not improved since, but stabilised.  A recent test has shown it has even become slightly worse.  Only marginal, but not what I wanted to hear.  Below is a photo of me with one of my 4 glasses.  These are for reading, which one year on have to be replaced with the new script.  Even slight changes make a massive difference as to how using my eye daily affects me.  Is what it is now.


Here is what I shared:-

After my one post in 2016 named, "I'M B A A - A C K!", I shared a couple of photos of the second last session under the carport of which we were inching ever so closer to getting done with.

Was a good feeling to know I was getting closer.  However, I felt frustrated that there was still much to do. And then, I felt happy that I had at least got to get this far as well.  So many conflicting feelings that it truly made my mind boggle.

At least we could see the fence at long last.

Here is one of those photos.

It was at this time that we started to use the shed for all the 'sell' items.  This way they would not come back into the house.  The plan being that once I was done with the sorting and purging part of this decluttering, I would then move onto selling said items at a Sunday Market or via the facebook 'buy, sell and swap' group pages.

I posted this next brief piece on 20 December 2016, reflecting on the year that was.

"20 December 2016 · 

I think I can safely say that many have had a crap year. I can also say that this year has proven to be the most challenging yet so far. I won't say that the next one has to be better as that has not happened for far too many years that I have lost count. Instead, I will be grateful for all those I love, the lessons learnt and happy to be still here to enjoy another year with the best family and friends that one could wish for from near and far. Also, to somehow in any way I can help those who need it most in the coming year ahead."

And to round off 2016 posts I shared, I took a look at my 'JAR OF POSITIVITY FOR 2016' just to see if my year was as I had remembered it.  These little notes scrunched into a jar showed me that more good took place than I remembered.  It is so hard to remember them when one is hit with so much hardship 24/7.  This little jar was positive as it highlighted the little things that added up to help me keep going. 

Here is what I wrote back on 31 December 2016.  

"

I did this jar most of 2016.

You never know till you actually follow through. So glad I did it now.

Said I would do this, this time last year. As bad as this year was, and it was, I could not have started this in a better year to remind me at the end that there were more happy and good moments than I would have otherwise remembered, being that the bad moments overshadow the good one's massively. So glad I did this. I didn't strictly note all the moments, but I did do 80% of the time.

I have so many to thank for those moments that were more abundant that kept me going. My children and friends have done so much. All those little moments do add up and make a difference and helped get me over so many hurdles this last year upon reflection.

Here are my offerings from a humble jar that makes the coming year seem less bleak and more promising this time round going into 2017."

 

Then I added into a new jar a saying that I loved to kick-start 2017.  Little did I know how wonderful my misspelt 'wonderfull' was going to be.  I have still had the hardships, but at the start of this year and now a few months short of the end of it, I have had a year of blessings that go far beyond anything I could have anticipated.     

I wrote this to remind me to focus on the little stuff.  The stuff that mattered.  The people and moments being what stuff meant. 

I knew that things would slow down dramatically now I no longer had the professional help, but I had to keep encouraging myself by thinking of slow and steady does get there in the end.  And look how far I have come.  All I had to do is remain patient. 

Slow and steady does win the race.

So,' slow and steady', or as I like to say it 'keep on keeping on', was my new mantra for 2017.

Will end this first catchup here and will share the posts from 2017 till I we are fully up to date.  

Even though you will see the progress over the next few days or weeks, remember it has taken over a year to get all this done, along with help from a few.  It has not happened over night.  

As I have said before, be kind to yourself when going through this process.  If all you can do is one small shelf that day.  Then that is a good day as that is one more shelf dealt with once and for all.  All you need to focus on is achieving what you can physically and or emotionally achieve.  As long as you keep trying and going then one day before you know it, all will be sorted.  

As for my journey, I am now at the tail end of this monumental task.  Had hoped to be well and truly done by now, but was not meant to be.  Life's curve balls had other ideas.  But, I never gave up nor in.  I made a promise to my Mum not long before she passed away and I intend to honour my promise to her.  

Not long now.  

Then onto my projects that I have left shelved for far too long.

Just remember, take it one day at a time and stop for a cuppa or a laugh or two, while you do your sorting and purging in order to keep sane.

Ciao from Anita  

THERE IS LIGHT AT THE TOP OF THIS MOUNTAIN!

Hello everyone,

Almost a year since I have done an entry.  Haven't meant to do that.  Just every time I would go to write, my eye would not be co-operating.  Apologies for being away again for so long.  Many have been checking in and for that I am happy that all kept utilising this blog to help motivate with your own 'stuff' issues in a positive ongoing way.

Also, I wanted to write when I finished under the carport.  This has been achieved at long last.

Well, the carport is 99.9% done.

Just a few straggly bits to be dealt with, but is now being used for it's original intent. To park cars under it!

Have been sharing my journey on my personal Facebook page and will try and retrieve these post to share here to catch you all up with what has taken place this last year.

I have not been idle.

Long story short I was granted 2 more sessions from the organisation, which got me almost done under the carport.

Since then, my young lad and his friends helped me go through the shed and tools etc.  Later, my gal pals came to help me sort said tools.  These are still being sorted as I type this.  This meant the shed could be used to store any of the items I will sell to try and get any last linger debts out of the way.  Have to try.  As Wendy said, it is best to 'sort and purge' first in full and then go onto 'selling'.  Each leg of this method to be completed to only then go onto the next step.  In my case, it feels like an eternity due to the sheer scale I had to deal with.

Earlier this year my daughter, son and son-in-law did put on a belated 60th birthday party, which turned into an event and all did, those that could, gave gift money to help me with certain projects.  The generosity surprised me and enabled me to get many medical things done that I could not afford, along with more sessions with Wendy the expert.  I had enough to pay for 8 more sessions.

Due to this since March this year, we have finished with all that was left under the carport.  We even started on the difficult areas of certain kitchen cupboards.

However, a spanner has been thrown into these ongoing works and my son who had moved out only months before has to move back along with the house friend with whom he shares with, as they have another rental next year lined up, but have to move now.  I will fill the gap.

One problem.  I had used that room for my overflow and there was still the attic to get to.

Since then, we have emptied the attic and now in a mess for the very last time.  This time most of what I am going through and sorting is my items.  Culling is not difficult, but is sure is interesting opening boxes that were sealed early 2008.

It is quite something else to view your life from 10 years before.  Most revealing.

Will share some photos of this last years journey in the next few 'catch-up' entries with you all and will do my best get on here to let you know more frequently how I am tracking.  I have now reached the top of this mountain almost 10 years on and now slowly on my way down this mountain, taking time to enjoy the view at the various stages of this descent.

On a side note I have had a story published this last week about my plight in a magazine that is national here in Australia.  I did not write it and got no recompense for it either, but I did say I wanted it to be a positive outlook on this plight that many do suffer or encounter during their lifetime.  The writer did take some 'artistic' liberties of which I let slide as the article itself did display empathy and was positive, which was my one and only request.  Will share this after the catch up.

I must say I cannot believe I am finally making it through this mass of stuff.  I keep pinching myself to not stop as I am not there just yet.  I cannot lose focus and momentum.  Easy to do when nearing the end of a marathon run.  I do not wish to fall down now when ever so close to the finish line.

I was hoping to be done by 28 October, which will be 10 years since my beautiful and most gorgeous Mum passed away.  I know deep down she would be happy with how I have done this.  Honouring all that she valued without me having to live amongst all either.  With this knowledge we both can rest easy soon.

Life is finite.  I plan to make the most of what is left, whatever that measure may be.

Even though life has been brutally tough going, I also have come to realise, I am incredibly fortunate to have such wonderful children and friends who have emotionally supported me through these years.  All know how grateful and appreciative I am of that support.

I did take time out for a mini holiday in 19 years and can see now how essential that has been for my mental well being.  Has not solved any of my issues at hand.  Just coping a little better for sure.

I have had the time to reconnect even more with 'fun', 'friendship' and 'family'.

Love those 'f' words.

Next you will see any or all of my Facebook posts for that catch-up.  This will assist to keep the thread of my journey to make sense.  Well, at least for me.

Don't forget, if you have the issue of 'stuff', be kind to yourself and do what you can on that day.  Anything out is out and celebrate that.  If you know someone who is knee deep, then offer to help by taking them out for a cuppa and chat.  And if it is all too hard, just take note from my journey, that plodding away does eventually get you there in the end.  The tortoise did win in the end.

So slow and steady as I go.

Ciao for now
Anita in a more hopeful mood

"I'M B A A - A C K!"

Hi Guys,

I'm back... ... ...

                              



What can I say other than it has been a long long arduous last year.





Last time I wrote about decluttering my 'stuff' was 7 November 2015.  Seems like a life time ago now.





Nothing could have prepared me for what I have been through.










However, I am lucky to still be here and for that I am very grateful.






I AM BACK AND BOY AM I HAPPY ABOUT THAT!







Time has flown by at times and other times it has dragged.





There is some good news and some not so good news.






First ~ I have had the operation.  And all did not go as to plan.






Second ~ I have still been decluttering ever so slowly.





Third ~ life can suck, but, oh is it ever so sweet.  Stuff or no stuff.






Where to start.  At the start I suppose!










Basically, life was altered forever after and even though one health issue was resolved and corrected, I had another created spinning me into a whole new direction altogether.  Sometimes, no matter how bad it seems at the time, it can end up okay.






This change I did not embrace at the time at all.  My life was literally flipped over completely in that one second.

Since then (then being 1 March this year), I had to adjust every facet of my day to day living.  Life certainly can throw curve balls when you least expect it.  And I had not anticipated anything like this.  I had made plans that where shut down that day by what took place.  I am generally optimistic and flexible person most of the time.  However, this time, I was knocked over by what happened and so I cried for a few months till I began to come to terms with it and slowly climbed my way back up from the hole I had hurtled into.  When ever that 'up' was to happen and still only halfway up out of that hole.

So.  Here I am.  I got through Christmas 2015.

My 60th birthday comes and goes, as I am weeks away from the operation to mend my bones and hip to quell the excruciating pain I feel, regardless of the heavy duty killers that I had now lived on for the last 18 months.  I decided I would celebrate later once I was on the mend.  Little did I know of what was to come.

The date for my surgery was 25 February, a Thursday, earlier this year and by this stage my friend had to wheel me in.

I was overwhelmed with trepidation.  I don't know why, as previously, I have handled some serious operations and procedures in the past.  This time, I just did not feel so confident.

It had to be done.  There was no choice.  I was going to end up unable to walk anyway if I did not proceed.

The afternoon surgery lasted 5 hours.

The pain medication wore off after a few hours, I came too and the pain hit me like a truck.  I was in agony.  After the pain meds were under control, I never really recovered.  I have tolerated these meds in the past.  This time, I was vomiting and just not quite right.  The good news was, it was not cancer that had caused the hole that blasted it's way through my left pelvic hip bone from the ball socket joint from the inside out right through to the other side with bone fragments and bits.  I was thankful it was over, albeit, feeling so ill.  I thought at the time, this too shall pass.

However, I began to experience headaches on the one side near my temple a couple of days after the surgery.  What with vomiting and the constant now headache, I told the doctors about them the next day on their early morning rounds at around 6.30am.  It was 1 March, a Monday.  They were concerned and told me to immediately let them know via the nurses if I noticed 'ANY' changes no matter how insignificant.

After the doctor's rounds, I was taking a shower around 9am and while in said prone situation, I experienced what can only be described as horrific.  I immediately thought I was having a massive stroke of some kind.  In my right eye, I saw huge white explosions that looked like fireworks up close and far too personal.  I felt no pain at the time.  Once the explosions subsided, I realised quick smart that I was blind in that eye.  And then I began to feel all sorts of things that I wont go into right now as it would take too long.  Suffice to say, I fumbled for the nurses button as best I could whilst wet and naked and did my best to cover myself and finish rinsing my hair.  The next few hours, days and months were harrowing to say the least.

At the time I experienced what I had experienced, I honestly thought I was going to die.

What I went through, does not need to be expanded here any further, other than to say, I have ever since been on one big roller coaster ride like no other.

How could this happen.  I came into the hospital fully sighted and now to leave blind in one eye after coming in for a bone graft and hip replacement operation!  What the!!!

Apparently, I suffered an extremely rare complication from the hip replacement component of my surgery.  An embolism of bone marrow with bone dust trapped within that embolism would normally disperse in time after surgery.  In my case it did not.  It could have found its way into any part of my body that could have killed me or rendered me goodness knows what.  My embolism chose the back of my right eyes retina to cause havoc.  Basically, the microscopic bone dust found it's way into the smallest of small dead end blood vessels in that one retina.  I wont go into the medical details of the process or my journey since, other than to say, it is called 'Purtscher's Retinopathy'.  Even the most senior Opthomologist's I have seen had no clue about it as they had never seen a case before.  Only read about it.

Nothing could be done. Nothing! Other than time to see if it would come good, or come good partially, or remain as bad as it was from the moment it happened.

In my case, it only partially came good.  Like a little bit.  According to the charts and what is allowed I was told I would be able to drive with the aid of special lenses for that eye.  The trouble is it will take this process between one to two years.  My progress is slow.  My brain has to adjust to this sudden loss.  I am learning to see again, as what and how I see has vastly altered, to what I was accustomed to.

Ever since this unwanted blast in the back of my eye, I have had a headache 24/7.  Most days my ability to concentrate and see is best in the morning and then deteriorates by the afternoon.  Depending on what I have to do I now have migraines on a regular basis.  This does not stop.  Then there is the double and triple vision once my eyes fatigue.

In the meantime, while I was coping and coming to terms with all of this, I had physio and rehab to deal with.  On top of that my leg was weak from the massive cut due to the bone graft that I had.  I could feel the bone graft knitting and it was an odd sensation and quite painful.  But, in a good way.  I am now walking better and the pain has gone on that side.  All I have to deal with is the lower back pain and right hip burning.  Small price to pay.  The major pain at least on the left was gone.

I now have to use a cane due to this eyesight issue.  I have now bumped the right side of my head so much that I think I have knocked sense into it.  A few months after I burnt my right arm severely due to 'not seeing' that particular spot.  All a learning curve.

I have had to get special glasses with a special lense for that eye only.  Looks very odd,  But, what the hey.  I need all the help I can get.  I need several pairs and have to get them one at a time as the cost of all this has blown right out.  And on top of this it has stopped my plans from gaining the work I so wanted as I cannot do the job I wanted as it involves, yes, driving.  Cannot win.

At least I am alive.

Then the sorrow I felt at the loss of my eyesight and what that meant.  I grieved and cried and cried some more.

I found it hard to find my way back.

I lost my positivity.  I lost a lot.  I lost my spark.  I lost my hope.

I had to force myself to not got down any further.  But, at each turn I was being hit down even further.

Out of all this some good things started to happen.

And that brings me to my stuff.  The decluttering of my abundant still ever present cumbersome stuff.

Due to having traded my one health issue for another out of the blue, I have had to accept help in assorted areas and has meant I have come into contact with a variety of professionals and charitable organisations.  It has been a process and one leads onto another and collectively means I have received help to get to where I have thus far since the surgery.  Again, I will reiterate, every little bit helps right now.

I wont name the places or people, but the people, some of whom are social workers or specialists in their fields have come and assessed my situation and so on and long story short, out of one of these many meetings and gatherings, I was offered limited funding to help with the 'stuff' that was still outside under my carport and the little shed in the backyard to help alleviate at least one of my many stresses.

I was hesitant at first.  After much thought, I knew I needed that help.  What would it hurt.

This professional who does this for a living, visited to discuss what I had already achieved so far and what I thought needed to be done and where I wanted to get to and how to go about it.

We decided to start with the shed as that could then be used to house any items to be sold on eBay or at a local Sunday market.  My view was that those items would not re-enter the house.  What did not get sold went to charity.

I was granted six 3 hour sessions and we got stuck into it in late May.

The system we used for me to get through the items was easier than I had anticipated.  She sorted through each box methodically placing the items in sorted piles in front of me while I sat at a table tossing said items into tubs placed around me.

A tub for rubbish or too far gone for any good use.

A tub for charity with items still in a good and reasonable state and clean.

A tub for items that were to be given to other persons.

A tub for items I could sell.

A tub for what I wanted to keep.

My professional friend placed the items from each box on the table in a manner that made it easy for me to go through.  As a tub filled it was replaced with a fresh one.  All rubbish and charity items were  then placed into her car at the end and taken away that day.  We also used my bin.  Only the items to be kept were taken inside.  I have taken items from inside out to the shed also since.  I have culled more items in these months on the inside as well to go to charity.

It is the paperwork and the 'little' itty-bitty items that are the most time consuming.

But this system works for me.

After each session there were boxes of papers to go through that I could do after she left that I could get done by the next session.  This saved time and maximised my time with her expertise.

Being outside, the weather played a factor in when we could work on the boxes.

It took 4 sessions to get the boxes in the shed finished.

The remaining 2 sessions we got stuck under the carport.  I had done a lot in the 8 years, but there was still a bit more to go.  I had said previously I was running out of puff.  I will share photos once I finish under there to show just how much has been achieved over those years.  At the moment, I am just concentrating on working through it for now.

What was left under the carport is on two sides, that I refer to as 'the fence side' and the other 'the porch side', which is up against the house.  We started on 'the porch side'.  I had stacked the boxes and items on pallets to keep off the ground.  I knew much would have perished, but I had found that a surprising amount was still okay due in part to thankfully having put these boxes on top of the pallets so they were off the ground.

Eventually my six sessions were up.

I didn't know how I was going to finish, but at least much had been chucked out and a dint had been made at long last.

Also, there were six, full to the brim and roof top of a normal size car, including front seat, back seat and boot of stuff that had gone forever never to be seen or touched again by me.  Not to mention, the other extra stuff I had farmed out since, gave to others, tossed in the bin and the council hard rubbish collection held in August that had the nature strip filled once again.

On the fence side, I can now see most of the fence.

On the porch side, I can now see the bricks of the house and light through to the front of the house.

I am eager to complete this task under the carport finally after 8 plus years.

Only then will all be revealed with said promised photos.

After the carport is sorted, then it will be the 'inside' of the house's turn to methodically go through the stuff and decide on what I want to keep only.

I have taken many photos of items that I wish to remember, but no longer need.  I have found that to be most helpful for me at least.

I cannot say, how much this professional woman has helped me.  She made this process so pleasurable and so easy going.  She took the time to allow me to process what I needed to when emotions bubbled up.  This was not often as there was much more laughter than there were tears.

I found treasures and gems that I thought were lost.

Some precious and irreplaceable papers perished.  However, less than I feared.

Going through my stuff that had been held in a kind of stasis for so long, like a time warp, reminded me of how far I had come since both my Mum and sister passed away.

There were also a few boxes of my parents in the mix, which also served to help me appreciate them even more.  Letting go is bittersweet, but it also turned out to be a healing process as well for me.

And last, but not least, there were many things from my big sister that were so wonderful to find.  Items I can use.  Things to remember that make me happy.  Looking back is not such a bad thing sometimes.

Anyway, I was making very slow progress once my six sessions were up and within a few weeks, due to the fact that I was so pro-active in my decluttering, the organisations that helped me with the funding, and along with the professionals advice, that it would be helpful to finish the job under the carport, I was pleasantly surprised by being called to be told that I was being rewarded with three more 3 hour sessions.  I had tears of joy.  I get to get more done with her help than on my own.  Finally, something wonderful, instead of more pain.

We have now had two of these further sessions and in a week will be the last of those granted.

The porch side is now half way or more at least and I am hoping we will have that side almost or completely dealt with and sorted.  That is my hope.

Then it is the fence side only.  Facing that on my own will be daunting.

My daughter is going to help me with my belated 60th birthday celebration, which I will be holding next year.  I don't want gifts, as I don't want to deal with any more stuff right now.  But, I may ask for donations of cash to cover the hourly rate of the professional, so I can have a chance at getting the rest of what is left under the carport done.  Fingers crossed.

Inside the house wont be so bad.  Just time consuming.

Then there is what is in the attic that I don't think I have mentioned till now.

I just couldn't manage even thinking about it till now.  That was out of sight and out from my mind.  Till now.  Oh, yes, the attic, I promise, that is the last of it.

There you have it.

My last year in all it's brutal glory.

I had stopped for some months after the surgery due to what you know now and slowly I picked myself up and got on with it.  Slowly and ever so slowly I got started again with the decluttering. With what happened to me it meant I got the help I so desperately needed to get on with it.  Had that not happened, I would still be a long way away from where I am now with the stuff.  The relief I will feel will be enormous when it is all finally finished.

I will have projects, but they will be all sorted and together where they need to be so I can finish them at long last.

As for the moving and the pain.  The moving is a lot better, except for the eye.  The one main pain from before is now gone, except for the other pain issues that I can live with like most others do.

Due to the eye issue, it has taken nearly 9 months to get behind the wheel of my car.  I have found being so dependent on others for lifts and assistance very difficult as I don't like to be a bother.  Many have helped me and I have thanked them, but cannot thank them all enough.  My many friends and children have been a Godsend.  My angels.  I may have been unlucky in some ways, but, boy oh boy, am I lucky with all those who have cared enough to give me their time.

Puts everything into perspective.

It will take a long time before I can venture far in the car.  If I find that I can only do short distances.  Then, so be it.  At least I will be able to get the food shopping done at the very least.

Life is far too short, and I will use the saying, to sweat the small stuff.

I am alive.

I am going to live a life with joy, laughter and as much love and friendship that comes my way from now on.

My journey with my stuff is not over yet.  However, I am not going to let it get me down any longer.

It may still take a while, just not as long as I thought originally.

The photo below is of me on my third driving session last weekend.  Please notr that when my son took this photo we were stationary at the time, as when I am driving, it is hands on wheel and full on focus on the road and what is around me.  Then home to lie down for the headache tablets to work.

It's been a long time coming for me to be back on the road again.  Only took 9 months.  Happy doesn't come close to describe how I feel.







Well, there is more, but more than enough.







Remember, be kind to yourself as you work through your stuff.  No point stressing over what you cannot do.  Do one thing and pat yourself on the back.  I have found the momentum has increased now as I do these little purges each day and does add up, as it will for you.

As for me, I have paperwork to go through.

I hope you have not wondered where I have been.  I must say, it did seem like I dropped off the edge of the world.  It is just that it takes me so long to do this typing, as after a while I get double and triple vision and have to stop.  Stop then start again a few days later.  Stop.  Start.  Stop.  Start.  Ever so annoying.  Again, all my learning curve for now.  Is what it is.

Just wanted to let you know, 'I'm back'.

Ciao for now and take care and keep on tossing the stuff out or give your not needed stuff to charity if it is still usable.

Anita
Thankful to still be here.

SLOW AND STEADY WILL WIN THIS RACE!

Hi Guys,

Since my last entry I have seen the hospital surgeons and have found out that my bone issue in my left pelvic region was a time bomb just waiting to happen.  With a series of events that led to this point of years of wear and tear.  At my ripe old age, I was told I had a birth defect where the ball sat just outside the socket of the pelvic bone.  I had complained since I can remember periodic pain in my left hip.  Now I know why.

Well, no wonder I had been slowed down.

I have been still tossing more stuff, albeit ever more slowly.  Instead of a trickle, it is now down to a very slow drip.  Still adds up and still on it's way out.

The arrangement with my son-in-law is working a treat.  Being that my bin can only take so little, I bag up what I cannot fit and then he picks them up and takes all of it away every few weeks.  Just brilliant and cannot thank him enough.  This help is invaluable and spurs me on to do what I can as I can.  It is this kind of help that will get me across the line one day.

Once I am in for surgery I will be out of action for a minimum of 3 months.  I will be having 3 procedures that can be done in the one surgery.  Bone graft to seal the 4cm hole blasted right through my left pelvic bone, pelvic bone reconstruction so the ball fits nicely and hip replacement.

I will be in for some serious physio.  No lifting for some months I am sure.  I will be having this operation within the next few weeks to months.  After rehabilitation and healing I will be able to speed up the process of decluttering.  I anticipate to be able to do more than I have ever been able to do in a long time.  This I am looking forward to.

As frustrated by this as I am, I have to remain resolute and not allow this set back to stop what little progress I am still managing to achieve.  This is when the power of how one thinks does help.  In the past I had let it get to me.  Now I point blank refuse for that to happen.  Being kind to myself is one thing.  Being positive is even better.  It really does make a difference.  Small or big is better than nothing done.

In regards to me, the good news is they do not think there will be any cancer.  I have decided that even if this turns out to be different I am just going to fight it.  With or without cancer, I still have a huge road ahead of me.  One I intend to make work to be better than before.  One thing I am looking forward to is the thought of  'no constant grinding pain'.  At least that is what I have been told to expect.

I will be MIA (missing in action) for some time over the next few months.

I will be back one day and expect to be able to report my new found energy and ability to get things done.

In the meantime, be kind to yourself when dealing with your stuff.  Know that no matter how little or how long it takes, the more you toss the closer you get to where you need to be, which is clutter free.

I think the pain is getting to me.  I am being far too philosophical.

All good.

See you on the flip side.

Ciao for now.
Anita

WHAT TO DO WHEN FACING YET ANOTHER MAJOR SET-BACK?

Hi Guys,

Good question.  I have had far too many for my liking.

Anyway, been a few months since you all have heard from me.

And not great news as to why.

First, I did get a few large items out for the Council Hard Rubbish Collection in August.  It was at this time I made plans to bag up any unwanted items as I went through boxes to be collected that would not fit into my weekly bin.  It was proving to be a slow process.  A friend offered to pick up the overflow of rubbish bags to place in a large industrial bin in order to help me speed up the process.  This has proven to be most helpful, but not at the rate I expected due to my ability to move becoming poorer by the month.

Secondly, another friend offered to sell my market items to help me clear them out of my lounge room.  Being that they are doing all the work, we agreed on splitting 50/50 on any of the items sold.  This way we help each other.  Win win as far as I am concerned.  This freed up my lounge room a lot.

Then the proverbial hit the fan.

I got the results and reason behind the pain I had for the last 10 months.

Long story short my pelvic bone has a rather large hole right through it.  Wont go into it now and don't know much more than that and will be seeing a ortho surgeon soon.  I shall know by end of October what is involved and where I head from here.  This means I have to be very very careful as to what I physically do.  No heavy lifting and so on.

After the first surgery I will only know then what I am facing.

This news was a major set-back.  I was gutted.  Bigger than any I have had to face before.  

I so wished my Mum and big sis were here to talk to.  I needed to talk it through.  Fortunately I was able to talk to a few close friends in order to wrap my brain around this news.

After the initial shock, I have come to terms with what is about to take place with all the wonderful advice and kind words and feel I can now face whatever head on.

These constant road blocks pop up that impede the decluttering process.  Life events get in the way.  I had to take a very deep breathe, find my good humour and inner strength that I seemed to have lost.

Slowly finding my way back.

No point complaining.  Just have to get on with it regardless, come what may.

This means my life has been turned upside down.  I know I will be facing bone grafts, months of healing and goodness knows what else.  However, it also means that there is a light at the end of that tunnel.  The prize of being able to once more physically finish this massive decluttering job Mum left me with finally.  All going well.

My brass bed that I acquired before this health issue became more and more difficult to get in and out of and obviously had to go as soon as possible.  I already have another bed set up and my much loved brass bed dismantled ready to sell.  One gorgeous brass bed ends and base coming up for sale on eBay.

I am still managing to get more out, even though it is at a now very slow rate.  I am determined not to let this get me down.  I will not be beaten.

I am sorting through every facet of my life in order to withstand this up and coming year long interruption.  Meaning updating my Will, information known to my two children and even Power of Attorney just in case.  I sound rather grim, but, best to be prepared as my time in hospital and rehab could be goodness knows how long and I still have a home to hang onto.

I am a big believer and superstitious at having things organised.  That way nothing bad will happen.  My superstition and has worked for me in the past.

Not much else I can do really.

I will continue to do what little I can, as much as I can, as long as I can.

I have photos, but not the energy to share them at this time.  These will have to wait.

In the meantime, for those who struggle with clutter, be it large or small, don't let it get you down or stop you.  You can and you will toss the stuff out.  I can promise that once you start you will find your momentum and get the job done.  Mine was such a mammoth one and even bad health is not going to stop me.

I more than likely wont be on here often over the next few months to come, but will check in from time to time.

Stay positive.  Keep your humour.  And above all else be kind to yourself.  I am.

Ciao till next time,
Anita

WHAT TO DO WHEN THERE'S STILL MUCH TO DO & NOTHING"S GETTING DONE!

Hi Guys,

Well, hate to say that not much progress has been made.


Main reason being, the procedure I had, that I was hoping to get rid of my pain, got worse since last December, and only partly worked with the lower back and leaving the left hip still in agony, which in turn affects what I can get done.

As in ~ not done.







This is so frustrating.



Trying hard to remember to breathe and hang onto my sense of humour as well as my home.

This was not part of the plan.  I was so on track till this hurdle came my way.




This is when I have to remind myself that there is not much I can do about it other than to keep plugging away to find what the underlying problem is and then find out what can be done to fix it or lessen the pain so that I can move again and get back on track with my clutter and life.  This all takes time.  Also, being on pain killers long term is not ideal.  If one can avoid pain killers, then that would be the best outcome.

Have made small strides during these last months and is better than nothing at all.

But not near enough to make me smile.

The progress I wish to achieve still continues to be just out of my reach.

Being that this winter feels more super cold to me than ever before does not help me to get out under the carport either.  The effort to move is excruciating and in the end all I can do is to concentrate on getting the essentials done barely.

Feeling oh so over not being able to get things done due to this never ending pain cycle.

Days are flying by and am getting worried that I wont get enough done by the end of this year.

In light of what is happening will now be a tall ask.

In the meantime, am right in the middle of the interim period of readjusting the finances.  Will know in the next few months if these measures will be enough to help me limp across the line long enough to hold onto the homestead till the ideal time for me to sell.

The only good news is my weight has stayed steady.  Even though I have stalled in this area of continuing the loss of kilos, and 22 kilos is nothing to sniff at, I plan to get back into the routine, once I get my head space right again, towards that healthier me I need to be.

There are a few more kilos to go and they need to go for good just like the inherited clutter.

All I have to do now is transfer that success of loss of kilos across to the final chapter of my de-cluttering.  And when I look back and remember where I started from with all the stuff, I sure have come a long way.  A friend who came to my home not long after Mum passed away saw the situation I had been landed in and just the other day, now almost 8 years on, reminded me how much I had done and how far I have come.  That meant the world to me and has spurred me on to that ever so close finish line.

However, the pain is the sticking point at this moment in time in getting to said such finish line.

As you can see, every aspect of my life is under fire.  I just have to hang in there.

Not long to go till August for the next council hard rubbish collection to purge more stuff and when my family are free to help with the physical side at this time.  Looking forward to this and cannot happen soon enough.

Brief and sweet this time.

Trying not to let this get me down to the point where I stop.

After all, there is still tomorrow as Scarlett would have thought.

And I shall do the same!

So, ciao for now,
Anita

ps. Next update will more than likely be after the August council hard rubbish collection.  Till then take care and keep up the purging of  'stuff and clutter'.