Embracing change is hard to do!

Hi Guys,

Well, here I am thinking I have the job that I love that would last for a long time. At least that is what I thought.

Life has a way of throwing twists and turns at you and the last few weeks in my case has been no exception.

One day you are employed and the next you are not! 

But let's look at the silver lining.  I have got off my bum and now more active and less apathetic about what life can entail.  This will give me that much needed valuable time to really sort through the stuff.  I actually feel motivated in doing such.

I will go back a little in time so you can better see my picture. 

At the conference that I attended in January, it was apparent then and there, that there was a lot more politics to this company than I first realised.  I also discovered that the company was very top heavy.  Does anyone remember the song Dean Martin sang 'Too Many Chiefs And Not Enough Indians'?  Well, it certainly was the case here.

The man who hired me was fantastic and I so enjoyed working for him.  Communication flowed and the support was freely given.  You knew what was happening and was well informed.  However, just before Christmas he mysteriously dissappeared.  I suspect he was shafted out of his postion.  His sales style was more along the lines of mine which is to develop relationships for longevity.  It became obvious at the Conference that the company was now heading more along the lines of aggressive sales techniques and expectations.  And in this current economic climate not a good move if you ask me.

Being that he hired me I knew I would have a target on my back.  It didn't take long for this to happen and certain big wigs started making comments and finally within weeks one of them, the General Manager no less, from Sydney, came to see me.  I sat there at this meeting, watching my immediate boss here in Melbourne tell blatant lies to save her own bacon and I did pipe up at this stage stating that the figures they were going by where inaccurate, at which point the GM said that doesn't matter. 

I was floored at this attitude.  Flabberghasted even. 

I learnt at this meeting more people where being employed (not sales) but more bosses that will have to be paid for from somewhere.  They were not interested in facts and twisted the inaccuracies to suit their purpose.  I knew that no matter what I said at this point it would just sound like an excuse, as they were not taking anything of fact on board.  I played along to get more precious time in order for the recent home loan application to go through.  This home loan meant that even out of work I would be able to get by.  Tough, but get by regardless. 

I wont go into the ins and outs of the situation, other than to say, they felt they were in the drivers seat and had total control over me.

I worked out that I had at least 7 bosses above me.  I mean, how many does it take to make a decision!
 
I was given 2 weeks to 'improve' and another meeting was called 9 days on (looks like they cannot add) via telephone conference.  30 minutes prior to that conference call I tendered my resignation along with my reasons why.  I was factual and professional and to the point.  They were floored.  I had gesumped them. 

I ended up speaking to the GM the next day (last Friday) who had convinced herself that the figures did not matter.  Now that is just not logical in my book.  I relayed that I could not work for a company that does not work on accurate figures when making vital decisions and that where this company was now heading was somewhere that I had no interest in taking that journey with them.  I do not see aggressive sales as desireable nor ideal and would rather have my integrity stay intact than go there.

This GM stated she woud take on board my comments, but I could tell they would rather convince themselves they were right at all costs than fix the cancer within their ranks.  Shame really.

She told me they had a discussion as what to do and had all decided to release me and that today was my final day.  This was at noon.

At 3.40pm the very same day my Mortgage Broker called and advised me that my loan application had been unconditionally approved.  Talk about a close shave.  The eleventh hour.  Or who could have scripted this better?  Real life or a sitcom writer!  My life is never dull of this I am sure.

Even though I resigned I know I will miss my job.  I love what I do.  But I have to find the right company.  As they say in the fairy tales, I will have to kiss a few toads to find my frog prince.  Onward in my quest for the perfect fit.

I am sure my last place of employment will keep growing, but they have the serious potential to implode.  I hope they look at the things that have been said and address the cancer from within their own ranks.  But I highly doubt that.

All I know is I saved myself from a very toxic situation.

As shell shocked as I was, the next day, Saturday, my sons Dad arrived with a queen size (second hand) bed for him.  My son and I removed everything out of his room.  After removing all the dead bodies, lolly and chip packets and lord knows what and vacuuming, it was looking half decent once more.  We found all sorts of things.  That DVD that was missing.  All the missing socks and so on.  Nothing like a good old purge.

I told my boy to only put back what he wanted.  After many bags of rubbish and a few bags for the charity bins and several hours later his room was trasformed.  He woke up in a boys room and will go to sleep in a teenagers room.  There are still areas to address, but it was a huge improvement and one that I could see my son will totally appreciated.  A teenagers retreat.

This now meant I now have 2 mattresses under the carport and more stuff on the now growing junk pile.

I am beginning to look more and more like Steptoe & Son by the day.

Here are my growing collection of mattresses that you cannot get rid of for love or money...

And not far the ever growing junk pile...

Not a good look, but will be removed as soon as I can organise someone with a trailer to take to the tip.

On the Monday I had asked a friend to come and help fix my now very sad and sorry and completely dilapidated letter box.

Here is what the old letter box ended up looking like...

Very sad looking indeed.  The door had gone and the roof collapsed and there was tape holding the pole together.  I think I can safely say this letter box had done it's job and now had to go.  My postie will be pleased if no one else!

I had found and bought a suitable letter box via a charity shop at a pinch of the price without the pole and all I had to buy was a pole on which to sit said letter box on.  I did pick up a letter box sometime back on a pole with the concrete still attached and had visions of knocking the concrete off, but my friend said after giving it a few blows that it just wasn't worth it.  Looks way better now and all I have to get is a padlock for it and we are done.

Here is the new one being put into situ by my friend John...

Here is how it looks from my porch area... Isn't she a beaut!

My postie will be one happy chappy!

Like I have said before, you look worse while you go through this process, but you are on your way to having that vision burst through.

Will have to contact the council to find out if they will do a one off collection for me.  But wont hold my breath.  Otherwise, it will have to all wait till September for the next collection if I cannot find someone to help take it to the tip.

Today I intend to start work on getting my lounge room sorted again with all that I dumped in there from what I had tossed out of my room when I got the new mattress and regain the use of my sanctuary.  It all takes time and effort and above all else motivation.  Sadly time I didn't have, but happily do now.  Effort is not an issue as much.  But motivation!  Well, that is an entirely different matter all together.  It is easy to get side tracked.  Something I will have to keep a watch out for.

Each day I intend to do something and this way in no time at all I should be that closer to my vision.

Being that it is Autumn I want to organise after Easter a weekend for a few of my friends to come and help me cut back the overgrowth that really has got out of hand, weed, plant the drought hardy clumping plants that I have been slowly buying up with a BBQ at the end of it.  Along with the help of my children we should be done in no time at all.  That way I will be able to get the tree loppers in and it wont cost as much.  Well, am hoping that that will be the case.

Lastly, remembering my now motto, 'onward and outward a little at a time everyday'!

Chiz
Anita - back to looking for work while I work!

Today is 29 February 2012!

Hi Guys,

Really don't have much to report other than wanting to post today due to the 'special' date! 

29 February 2012

Wont be able to do this again for another 4 whole years till 2016!  Then, if we really want a great date what about 2020!!!  OK getting ahead of myself here... maybe I should just concentrate on getting rid of the stuff before 2020. Or better still 2016!  I hope to be 'done' well before then.

I haven't had much time to do much of anything really as my boss who hired me left or who knows what from the company I work for prior to Christmas under a cloud of secrecy.  Since the conference in mid January it appear we have gone from a 'team' to 'individual' performances and guess who is in the firing line.  Yep, little ol' me.  Being that the Howard government made it possible for employers to 'get rid of' or 'cull' at will prior to 12 months employment for staff under 100 without cause and 6 months for over means I do not have a leg to stand on and have been head down, bum up and trying to stay under the radar.  Looks like I may have failed as one of the big wigs is coming down 'to chat'!  Now that certainly doesn't make my heart beat any better.

So my plans may be gesumped before I can complete what I have set out to do and that is combine all debts into one low home mortgage and finalise my Mum's Will prior to the set date of 28 October 2013.  If I don't, then I will have to sell this place regardless and will have no choice in the matter.  I was hoping, just once, for things to go my way, but the economy, local and global has other ideas in store for me by the look of things.

So, my Mum's wishes for me to have some 'stress free time' hasn't really happened.

Have gone through papers and all the stuff that I dumped in the lounge room when the mattress came and have gotten half way through, but that has come to a complete halt now until I know where I stand with this job bizo and trying to get a low mortgage before the possibility of loosing it happens.  After which time I can then concentrate on looking for another job or convince the current bosses to cut my days till things improve instead of letting me go.

The garden is looking like crap and have started to get cards in the now falling apart letterbox for tree loppers etc and have no spare cash to do such until I know what will be the ultimate outcome with my 'very' precarious job.

When I feel stressed like this, I tend not to be able to cull as well as I normally do.  You go into this mindset of what if I need this one day and if I throw it out or give it away and then I need one again, what then!  Better not, so as 'NOT' to waste what precious little money I have.  You start to save things for that 'rainy' day.  That time when you 'may' need it. 

This uncertainty certainly 'DOES NOT' help me at 'ALL'.

Wish me luck guys in getting the 'low' mortgage through first before getting the heave-ho.  Or just keeping my job and getting the mortgage.

Life has to be simpler than all this palava.

Might just go curl up and watch sad movies and cry. 

No, must try to get through this hurdle as well.  Let's see where the wind takes me this time.  Hope it ends up better than what I am currently anticipating.

Now if anyone needs anything I am selling heaps of things.  All you have to do is request.  You can find me at anita.sulcs@gmail.com or Facebook.  Well, worth a try, isn't it?  Have nothing to lose.  Oh, yes, the job.  Let's try and keep the job at all costs. 

Maybe, I can say this to my boss on Monday....

Or...

Not sure if that one would work?  Do you?

Or I could just do some....

In the end I will just have to remember this and go with the flow...



And with that 'motto' in hand, I will bid this 29th day of February 2012 'farewell'.

My plans are to get on top of this sillyness so I can get on top of my 'blinkin' stuff'!

Cheers for now and will just have to 'keep on smiling'.

Anita

ps... hopefully still gainfully employed the next time I 'Blog'!

Time to do a stocktake and reflect ONE year on!

Hi Guys,

Wow!  Tomorrow it will be one year, to the day, that I put finger pads to keyboard pad and wrote my first ever blog about an issue that had enveloped me like no other!  TOO MUCH STUFF!

This was one of the very first things I got rid of, in 2008, which was my son's Cubby House, as it wouldn't fit in my parents backyard and was actually sitting on the vegie patch when I sold it 4 years ago to a family with toddlers.  Looking at the photos I took for the then 'Trading Post' seems so long ago now.

It also seems so long ago that I started this blog!  I started out with humour, not thinking anyone would look at it, let alone read it.  So far the most favoured post is still the one called 'Letting You Know' last June, which is when I first started with uploading photos to shake it up a bit.  And these photos were of my daughters feet modelling the diamonte stilleto shoes that I finally did sell on eBay.  Now, I so suspect it is more like people with a 'foot fettish' that took a shinee to my daughters feet and that was the attraction rather than the content... hmmmm.... but none the less it has been hugely popular.

Here are the said 'stilleto's' without feet/legs modelling them...

  

Here are my foot that could have modelled them....

Now here is my daughter's leg/feet that ended up doing the modelling...

Which one wins!  Absolutely, mine, of course, but don't tell my daughter will ya'!

The demographic or 'audience' is varied as well.  I couldn't get over someone from Alaska, India, Afghanistan, Brazil, Russia, Bosnia & Herzegovnia, Uzbekistan, Canada, England (UK), Thailand and even from my parents homeland Latvija to name a few.  The vast amount are from America (USA) and Australia (AUS).  This just goes to show that we are not all that different from each other with our problems and ergo hopes and dreams.  'Stuff' effects us all, no matter where we live or circumstance.

Due to the fact that I have posted this on my FB page, I have had little feedback from those of you who view this blog.  Apparently some have had diffuculty with this.  I have written 28 posts so far with only 2 comments in that time.  What's with that?  Boy, are we a shy lot.

I would like to say just because you read this does not necessarily mean you also have this issue, but rather may be reading it to help another fellow friend or family member nearby.  I decided to 'let it all hang out' so to speak and destigmatise this type of event in ones life.  Like all problems, it can be sorted out in the end.  And I no longer wanted to feel ashamed of what was thrust upon me.  Be it that most of which I inherited and some of my own doing as well.  So please, feel free to chime in once in awhile.  We can help each other.  A problem shared is a problem halved.  Also, by sharing you start the process.  Plus, I would like to hear from you with some feedback or some of your own suggestions or stories.  Let's see if we can now take this to the next level, so don't be shy.  Pipe up!  There are usually many comments on my Facebook page when I post these ... so why not post there?   Just look for Anita Sulcs and you should find me.

Entirely up to you, but I would enjoy the communication with you.

Like all things this is a process that takes time.  Life factors get in the way and you have to work as well along with the pressures of daily life doesn't help either.  But given time, and allow yourself that time, it does get done in the end.  It doesn't have to be like the 'TV reality shows' and be done in a day or weekend.  As, Lord knows we don't have 50 helpers and unlimited funds as they do, but rather more realistically and done in stages over a peiod of time and this is where you have to be generous, give yourself a deadline to reach or otherwise it will never have an ending.  Decide what you want and visualise it and then with your 1, 2 or even 5 year plan, set about achieving that.

This is me one day for work on Conference in Sydney enjoying their Harbour near Manly.  Tough life eh!

.

Life's trauma's do effect us all and can cause this and many other issues to get exponentially worse rapidly.  If that is the case, forget the stuff and heal thyself first.  Without you being whole, you will just crumble underneath the weight of the 'decluttering' and become even more overcome, which will defeat the whole excercise.  Prioritise what is important.  List it if necessary and tick each point when you achieve it.  When you sit down one day in a years time ... do have those photos to remember where you were and you will be amazed at how far you have come, but had forgotten.  A photo of a room taken from the same vantage point every several months does serve as a 'visual' reminder to yourself.  We easily forget and it does help as a motivator.  Even if it meant just one shelf got cleared, it is now one shelf closer to your end visualised picture in your mind of where you see this room to be.


This was the loungeroom some 3 years ago.  This is almost empty as it was storing many boxes and furniture.  We couldn't get through and had to use the corridor only to get to the kitchen.  So imagine where to glass part of the cabinet is and that was where top of the boxes were and the whole lounge was full to the brim.  And I have to say that there was the 2 huge piles under the carport along with the boxes and crates in Richmond on a mezzanine floor and all my furniture and more boxes in my neighbours garage.  Now the lounge is usable, the carport has decreased by two thirds and there is nothing in Richmond any longer and only 6 pieces of furniture in my neighbours garage.  I have come along way when I look back and reflect.

 

Here is the lounge room empty looking back diagonally towards where the other photo was taken...

Now a usable space!

If nothing else, don't beat yourself up with negativity.  Be kind to yourself, by starting you are doing, by doing you are getting things done, and when you are done it will feel fantastic.

I, myself am two thirds of the way there.  When I look back at these photos now to where I was, I am still amazed at how muc I have achieved.  But I cannot stop, even though the Christmas break and work has interferred yet once more. 

There is much less of this now.  Lower with more room.  The mower has been given away and I need to set a future weekend aside and will seriously knock what is left off, hopefully in early March.  Well, that is the plan.  But I can actually see the road now from the porch which obviously early last year you could clearly not!

I did end up doing a clean out of the carport area of all the 'rubbish' and now have to organise for that to go to the tip, being that my local council only does hard rubbish collection just a miserly once a year.  I am getting a new mattress next week.  One that will be better support for my back so making my day will be much easier and pain free.  The old mattress has to be thrown out to the tip so when that it removed outside it will join the other rubbish and will all go for good.

I have only recently decided to stay where I am and 'pay out the 2 recipients from my Mum's Will more than 2 years ealier than I have to'.  The monkey will be off my back and I wont feel like I am in 'no man's land'.  Then the place will be completely mine and I can truly get my projects sorted and underway one by one, which will motivate me to 'GET RID OF THE STUFF' even more.

Here are my parents, Zaiga and Eddie, Dusi Saldi.

And the home I can soon call my own!

Now that I have decided to stay I can now fine tune my future plans more efficiently and effectively.

Once I got passed just chatting on this blog and discovered how to post photos, I really got to see more rather than just 'talk' about the issue.  I do hope that you have found the photos of some value and interest.

This is me celebrating my birthday with family and friends, which really is in the worst time of the year... early January.  No one is ever around to celebrate due to being away!  This year I got lucky and overjoyed by the turnout.  We need these 'happy' breaks to keep going.  Otherwise, what is life for!!!  Just to slog it out.  Hell no... give me some hearty gatherings of gorgeous friends anytime.  This is my reward.

This blog has given me much more than I could've ever realise and has proven to be a useful tool in better dealing with the process of 'decluttering'.  I have found it less stressful and far more bearable.  I can totally recommend others doing the same.

So there you have it, this blog one whole year on!  Unbelievable really.  From where I was, to where I am now.  Even though I detest and resent being in this situation, I have learnt so much more personally by going and getting through it.  One that I do not now regret. 

Here's me with my daughter, Aija.

And now with my son Zigis.

Now don't be shy.  Please do say 'boo' even.  I would dearly love to hear your thoughts.

I have found sayings off the internet, mainly facebook that I find enlightening.  You may find these help... or not.

But one thing is for sure and that is....

At times you will feel like this... many times... like this...

But try to think along other lines to help you get out of your rut...

Which is what I am currently doing and sharing what I no longer need, or is way too much for one person...

So I can go and finally enjoy those sunsets and one day even find myself under an Aurora Borealis!

Sounds better than 'STUFF' to me.

Well, here's to the next year, which I have given myself to clear the hallway, the carport, the shed, the attic and what is over in the neighbours garage.  Along with getting that mortgage so I can truly be a home owner once more. 

Totally achievable now that I have looked back at where I have come from and now to where I am heading.

Cheers all
Anita

ps - don't forget to comment or go over to my facebook page and comment there if you are having difficulty doing so here.

Whatever you do or don't do, it is still your choice!

Hi Guys,

Have had the holiday and now back at work.

During the holidays the weather had a mind of it's own once agin this year. Melbourne is known for being unique in the way of one can experience all four seasons rolled into one day! No joke, it happens. Summer is notoriously fickle and as I have my birthday early January have had 40 plus (centigrade for those overseas) heat waves with northerly winds to gorgeous day to torrential rain and freezing cold to hailnstorms. Yep, I have had the lot.

This year was no different other than we went from the 40c degree with the hot humidity which is like walking through treacle and then it poured with rain with a dash of hail larger than golf balls. So much damage. Yet there is what is left of my stuff under the carport.

Even weather cannot move this mountain.

But like I said it is a choice. I chose not to have heat stress. I chose not to be a drowned rat. I chose to spend time with my family. Between all the festive celebrations the days that I could have decluttered Were virtual hell-holes. Just not worth going there. So you see even the best laid plans can go south very fast. And this start to the year was no exception.

I have to go away for a week for a work conference which again sets me back even further. On my return I will hit the groud running with head down and bum up concentrating on getting my work life to have the best start.

Ijust want to ferris of the rubbish for starters and the old TVs that seem to line many a pavement lately along with the Christmas tree that I held onto the last 5 years to only find out it no longer works. Now that was hilarious if you ask me. Here I am, carefully looking after my favorite optic Christmas tree and looking forward to the light show to first find out no adptor as it is packed away somewhere else as I mentioned in my last post to then buy one and then with such built up anticipation for "nothing". Yep, had to laugh and one big huge expensive lesson learnt about how too much stuff does end up costing you money firsthand. Big time.

Then on my return it will be time to get my son ready for school. After which I plan to attack the rubbish under the carport.

Remember, there is nothing wrong with changing your plans. After all, life is far too short to get your knickers in a knot over a perceived set back. It is your choice as to how you deal with your stuff. Stuff will cone and go, but your now lasts only once and I choose to make it as.good as possible for me.

So choose to live and choose the way in which you wish to live it. And at the end of the day with what you live with.

When I was ver ill I chose to rest. When I had work or family commitments I chose to participate in those commitments. When I was invited out I chose to join in. This does take you away from the job at hand, but let's face it, the stuff isn't going anywhere. Of this we are sure of.

A friend recently had his house burn down and was left with nothing. I was telling him of my plans and asked if there was anything in particular he needed so I could give those items to him. He quipped that having all your stuff burn down certainly eliminates all this palava I was going through. I know that I would prefer my problems and issues to loosing all the visual memories as he so tragically had. Nothing can replace certain items, but nothing can rplece a life ever.

So I choose to live and one that I can look back on with fond memories and with the good. 'stuff'.
By February I hope to get back and be able to faithfully say that I have finally achieved something about my 'stuff' and less of it.

Will check in then. In the meantime, please excuse the spelling errors as the iPad I am using is not allowing me the ability to do so.

Cheers all, hope 2012 will be the best yet
Anita

Impossible New Year Resolutions!

Hi Guys,

Happy New Year guys. 

Almost a year since I started this blogg, but not when I started unhoarding!  That has taken much much longer than anticipated.

This is where you quite possibly find yourself saying each new year with adnauseum that this year will be the year you 'get rid of it all'! 

Well, be careful what you wish for, as you just might be setting yourself up for one big fall.  Try for something unusual like make your resolution to have attainable expectations of what you set out to achieve.  That and be kind to yourself.

Being that Christmas has just  whizzed by yet again, it was at one of my get togethers over this period is with an old neighbour of mine who witnessed the major part of my trauma 5 years ealier.  She also lent a helping hand at carting some of the last remains of my 'stuff' to under my then still parents home carport. 

It was at one of these many trips that she looked at the sheer load, equally overcome, with what I had to deal with and stated to me ... 'you wont get it done before you have to either pay out the 'Will' recipients (which in this case was 6 years from the death of Mum who had died recently) or have to sell as you wont want to go through moving this lot along with what I had inherited ever again!

She was dead right.

The prospect of this thought sent a shudder through my entire body.  It was there and then under the said offending carport that I bet my friend Maureen. I could and would get the bulk of it done within 5 years.  She did chuckle I must admit, but accepted the bet.  Next year is my last year of that very bet.  Specifically, I need to have cleared the carport area, the neighbours garage and what was on a pellet on a mezzanine floor at a friends factory.

The items at the factory have been dealt with and finalised late last year.  My neighbours garage now only has 6 pieces of furniture left and I have plans for what remains and all the boxes have been dealt with and trust me there were many such boxes.  The carport area has been in these last 4 odd years been reduced to a quarter of what was once there.  One would think I am on track to win this bet.

Think again!

During most of those years, I was not working and I am now working 4 days a week.  The odds are stacked against me.  However, I am still going to give a good crack at it, as this very bet does help me keep forging ahead.  One of my many ways to keep up my momentum... for a better word 'motivation'.

Even though the end date was at the time of the bet felt so far in advance, it certainly feels like it is looming like the old proverbial and breathing down my neck as I write this.

Now the bet entails, if I have not fully dealt with the exterior carport and that does not mean piling it all in the house if  there are still stacks there... I mean dealt with in some way... ie... disposed of, given away or kept in a spot then, Maureen wins, and I have to take her out for a swish dinner at my expense.

Ah, but the sweet victory for me to have the exterior carport all done and dusted means, Maureen takes me out at her expense!  Now how wonderful would that be!

Either way, I still really win!  This very bet will have pushed me to do what I have had to do to be rid of at least the bulk of this very heavy load that was thrust upon me.

I see Maureen every Christmas day morning at which point, she happily, for the first time, reminded me of this bet.  Funny, how now, she is only just checking up on me.  However, she feels she will be the one being taken out for dinner.  She hasn't seen how far I have come and quite frankly I will have to get her over for her reaction as that will tell you all just how much I have achieved.  I do believe she will be quite dumbfounded or just simpy stunned.  Also, a nice reminder for me.

If you do have a horrendous load like I did and it all seems too much, do consider a bet like this with ample time, but not too ample as to never to ever intend to 'do it'.  Then disect into lots like I have and then tackl it slowly like the tortoise in the nursery ryhme.  Just steady as she goes.

So, please, no big outlandish resolutions with unrealistic timelines and expectations.  Be kind to yourself as this process will test you at times and hurt like hell. 

There will be tears.  So many tears that it will surprise you that you have so much pouring out of you.  Some of these will be through sheer joy that you got one little shelf done.  Some with the pain that will hurt like there is no tomorrow yet be healing in the end.  Allow those tears to flow as it also means that pain flows away with it.

Also, include treating yourself once in awhile with in your resolution to 'purge' to 'let go' to 'rid one self of' all the 'stuff'.  At the end of the day it is you who will have to live with the final content.  I have a visual of what I want in the end.  No one else can see it.  But I can.  That is why I am dogmatic on certain items to stay that will fit into this 'perfect picture' of mine.

I will try and draw this picture next time.  Maybe just describe it... or begin to describe it.  That is for next time. 

It is holidays for now and will devote only one day to 'the stuff'. It is also important to take advantage of recouping ones energies both physical and mental to tackle the oncoming year.

On another note, I was quite proud that I did not get overloaded with big presents this year.  My lot are beginning to get the picture as to how not add to my 'issues'.

Talking about Christmas, I finally spent it at home.  First time since Mum died.  The home was finally acceptable enough to be able to achieve this.  I celebrate on Christmas Eve.

Here's me with some of my 'first time' prepared fare.  I actually remembered how to make Mum's delicious Latvian potatoe salad as I hadn't made it in years.  Amazing what seeps in eh!

Here is Aija at the end cooking the final touches - the schnitzels!!!  Yumo.  All I forgot were the cotlets and pirags.  However, we did have the smoked zuti!  Now that was delish.

This year I broke rank and went to another Ministers service.  She recently had a brain tumour taken out and is fighting the good fight.  She was a good friend of my Mum's and was there with me not long after Mum died and so wanted to see and be with her to show her my love and support.  I also went through Latvian Saturday School with her daughter.  After the service with much Latvian Christmas carols being sung I got the chance to see her and cuddle her and her whispered words in my ear were 'I am in God's hands and it will be his decision when I must go'.  It was all I could do to cry as she is such a sweetheart and her profound belief is what carry's her, just as it did my Mum.  For Mara's many hours spent with my Mum in Palliative and before I will forever be grateful as they comforted her and gave here peace.

Anyway, after the service we went home to get the rest of lunch together, which normally would be dinner and then open presents and then carols and if I get lucky reciting poems.  Any way ... the Christmas tree I have held onto all this time since the start of the move nearly 5 years ago is a fibre optic one and the adaptor I found out was missing ... like I needed that like a hole in the head.  This is where too much stuff really costs you.  I had to go and buy one to then only find out the tree mechanism was no longer working!!! 

Yep, call me a tad annoyed, but I looked at the silver side after my initial annoyance.  Yet another thing can get tossed. No point keeping it like my parents would have done.  I will either do a real one next Christmas or buy another fibre optic through the year. 

Such is the way with too much 'stuff'.  It does end up costing you unnecessarily!

I made it look good by twining 20 metres of LED twinkle lights.  Really spectacular if I say so myself.

My three wise monkey's!

To say I had a good Christms would be an understatement.  It was the bomb.  All that hard work with my daughter Aija and assistance by my son Zigis really meant we could have that traditional family Christmas like we used to and keep that tradion going once more.  I did cry, but it was a good cry, a happy joyful cry.  I am truly blessed.

Now it is my birthday coming up shortly and I will also be going away for a conference.  I plan to do some more after the major heat of summer is over.  It will be during this time I will try to fix things around the house and garden and if I get really motivated deal with more boxes of paper work.  I do have to deal with the taxman one day so may concentrate on finding those boxes of paper work to finalise yet another 'to do' on my list and kill two birds with one stone.  If not then a day with a friend and deal with 'what's behind the cupboard doors!!!'.  OooAhhh, now that would be really getting ahead of myself.

Anyhoo, there is still much to be done.  I do wish you all well for 2012 and hope that it brings with it only wonderful things and success in your life and projects.  

Here's to all of us for the best year yet!!!  Thinking positive now...

Oh happy days!  With my family!



Anita xxx

ps - if all else fails right now, breathe in breathe out and just take one day at a time or write to me to vent as I am a good listener and love to help others.

280 cubic metres gone so when on a roll 'stick to it'!

Hi Guys,

Christmas is coming up fast and all the duties and jobs that come with it, along with all the invites to celebrations, including those with birthdays at this busy time, means getting rid of the 'stuff', can be well and truly placed on the back burner.

Fortunately, for some reason, my daughter Aija has a bomb underneath her butsky wanting Christimas Eve dinner at home this year for the first time since Mum died.  Might have something to do with the new friend!  Either way this pleases me to no end, as I could not get the amount of work done in one day like she can.  I used to, but I have slowed down.

It has been a few weeks since the last devoted day to decluttering and clearing and cleaning.  Most of the empty boxes have been collapsed and gone in recycle rubbish along with what had to go to the Salvation Army (Sallies).  However, the broken items are still under the carport, but I may have solved this problem as the new boyfriend's work is in an industrial area and I may be able to get use of the ute and toss some of these items into their skip the night the bin goes out to use only what room is left. 

By the way, I got such a fright after the last clean out.  I remember 'letting' go of Grandmums rocker and then I vaselated in my head and then thought ... oh maybe ... it's my Grandmums ... it's such a nice one ... and put it under the carport to 'think' about it.  Now I thought I had relayed that to Aija as I remember saying just what is on the porch is to be taken to the Sallies... yes you are more than likely ahead of me here.  A few days later I drove up to realise there was no longer the rocker where I had placed it.  Now to my horror I panicked!  My heart started thumping, my stomach churned and I got the jitters.  It really was an unpleasant feeling.

I think it is important to bring this up as this is how difficult a process this is and hopefully when those who do not 'understand' or 'get' that this process to purge is a difficult one for us even it you don't get it that by pointing this physical side out that maybe those who tease us will be a little more thoughtful about how far you tease next time.

Anyway, the upshot was I thought to myself... self...'no one has ever taken anything from my carport ever in the 4 years it has been rotating there... (ever changing)'  and actually quite insulting when you think of it!  I digress, anyway after my initial physical onslaught I told  my daughter about this horror upon her return from work and she looks at me quizically and says 'but Mum I took the rocker to the Sallies just like you asked'!  Well, you could've bowled me over.  It was my fault for not being more clear, but I had to think in a positive vain and realise that this decision was taken out of my hands for a reason and I had to accept what happened without going into a tailspin over it.  So C'est le vie it has to be.  I still think about it and in due time that too shall pass, but it happened and there was nothing more I could do to change that.

Maybe this was a silver lining to the process and one that I am slowly accepting and gaining some understanding about.  Time will tell.

This is what went to the Sallies last time round here on my front porch (later to realise including my beloved Grandmums wooden rocking chair) which now has the next lot on it already...

This is what my couch/divan looked like while doing the last clean up in the lounge room.

Got through this lot and the lounge room is now warm and cosy to relax in rather than step around to find a spot to sit!

Couch to sit on...

Again, Aija set this time round set 2 days aside.  This very weekend it so happens.  We are halfway through.  We started with the bathroom as I had stuff in the bath ... and go figure we want to have a bath ... I know it sounds tragic doesn't it, but the foot massage bath and other items had no where else to go.  Any way, that foot massage bath has now found a new home with the Sallies and the rest of the bathroom is clear and sparkle larkleing.

While she was busy doing that, I got stuck into the lounge room once more to restore order, thankfully only a mini task this time round and then headed for the papers by the computer in the dining room.  I then moved onto clearing out the stuff in the laundry to get to Mum's old Singer Tredle Sewing Machine, which was under a mountain of boxes and 'stuff'.  I wanted to clean the old tredle up and put it on show and enjoy it yet still keeping it in that well used look as it had been to then sit in the lounge room by the window it's new home.

This was the spot I wanted it the Singer Tredle Sewing Machine to go.

Here it is now.

Up a little closer...

I cannot believe Mum had this tucked away for all these years.  It disappeared somewhere around when I was in my 20s which means about 30 years ago!  I hadn't even given it a thought till I said to Mum one day while I was caring for her 'what a pity the tredle had gone'.  It was then she told me it was in the laundry!  What a shock.  Of all the places to put it.  This was bought just before christmas 1951 in my old home town Albany. 

Here is the tin and then some of the contents including the original layby receipts.

The Tin...

and now its contents...

Very much like a time capsule.  This was bought way before I was born.  Previously, I had thought it was purchased when Mum was about to have me, but actually was bought after her first 2 babies.  Lija and Silvija, both who are no longer with us whom I miss very very much.

The clean up was steady and concentrated on the surfaces only and not behind closed cupboard doors.  However, some areas I had already dealt with cupboard areas and the bathroom was one such area.  It really will be nice to finally have that bubble bath.  I couldn't have done it ... really couldn't have done it without my girl.  If you are wondering about where the lad was... well, he had been on a school trip to Tasmania and came back sleep deprived and had fallen into a heap and was fast fast asleep not long after helping to a certain degree.  Such are school trips.

So here is part of the check list for the general 'first' tidy up and downsize:-

Lounge Room - tick
Bathroom - tick
Corridor - on going
Laundry - started
Dining Room - started
Kitchen - about to start there
Carport - on going
Shed - will be last
Attic - once house done will start there box by box which has all my stuff in it
Bedroom - let's not go there

As you can see by this initial check list there is still much to do and then I have to go over it yet again to make sure that what is behind the cupboard doors that I haven't touched reflect what is on view!

I did a cursory inventory on what I had rid myself of in the last 5 years when this process first started. 

First, I have given away couches, dining tables twice over, fridges, beds, chairs, linen, kitchenware, clothing, toys, garden settings, lawn mower, gazebos etc. 

Second, I have donated more than I have given away.

Third, tossed and thrown out into many many skips and tips and hard rubbish collections at least another third.

To get my head around the sheer volume I had to think in terms of huge rectangle blocks with the measurements in cubic metres.  Basically, I am a visual person so you can imagine how living amongst the process makes me feel.

It came to a staggering  280 cubic metres of 'stuff'.  WOW!!!

As you can tell I am discovering some of the font and colour formats... oh dear!

I still have around 70 cubic metres of 'stuff' to go.

Hellelujah you hear me shout.

I am well past my half way mark.  Without looking back I would never have realised this.  You look and live in amongst it all for so long that you loose track of your progress.  It is important to take time to do a stocktake just to see what it is that you have thus far achieved.  Unbloodybelievable.  I have tears of joy right now I am that happy.

Each effort gets me closer to that homely home I am so hanging out for now.  To show off my wonderful wares, tares and memories.  Things do have a story, a memory, a comfort and a belonging that most times has no words. 

I am just choosing better stories, memories, comfort and sense of belonging is all!

We ended the day by watching 'Avatar' of which I promtly fell asleep half way through.  But that was okay as I had a lounge room in which to enjoy it in with my children.  Now that was special and nothing could have topped it better.

Woke up early and will do the general house duties such as the clothes washing etc.  Aija is off to shop till she drops and Zigis is still sleeping of which I will have to get him up so not to have too late a night as tomorrow is a school day.  Not long before our summer school holidays, which will be 6 weeks long.

When Aija arrives home we plan to finish off the kitchen area, as in the bench tops etc.  This one isn't going to be so simple, but one that I want to get done so that we can enjoy christmas as well as after christmas I can get stuck in behind the cupboard doors and make even more head way than before with my pal Gabby.

Once you start feeling that you are more than halfway it seems to spur you on rather than stopping you.  Strange but true and one that I cannot analyse right now.  Don't want to really.  Just want to appreciate it for what it is.  Nothing less nothing more. 

This quote does not apply to my 'stuff' though... here it would more likely be 'Less is more' which would be more appropriate.

Chookas from one very tired Anita yet very very pleased.

ps... take care over the silly season and stay safe.

There is movement at the house!!!

Hi Guys,

Well, I don't believe it!  After 3 months in my new job I have actually started on the inside of the house.  Will wonders never cease!

This current wave of activity is somewhat due to my daughter's insistance.  Her boyfriend wants to meet me and she wants the place presentable.  I just say to her, explain my situation.  That and had she included some time into her busy social calendar earlier then this would be a mute point.

She set a day aside last weekend taking into consideration my back and that I had to go to work so chose a Saturday so I could recover on the Sunday prior to work..  We started methodically in the lounge of what was still there plus the corridor.  Alot of it was papers that had to be looked at.  I threw out alot of things including getting rid of anything remotely broken and items for the Sallies. 

We had to move furniture at one stage to make the room work better.  My son helped out with cups of tea and lifting heavy boxes.  My daughter before starting this had visions of tackling the lounge as well as the kitchen!  She realised later that day that that was not going to happen.  It is finally starting to sink in the magnitude of the job and the energy and time required in which to do it.

Sadly, I had to let go of my Grandmum's wooden rocking chair.  I just don't have the room at the moment.

The lounge area we started on is looking presentable.  However, we didn't even touch on what was behind the buffets cupboard doors.  That is for another day.  We really only skimmed the surface.  And that took us ALL day.

Those in this situation generally need assistance to get this job done.  As it is, there are now piles of rubbish bags outside under the carport to fit into bins, which will take several weeks.  I only have a small council bin.  Along with the bags filling the porch to go to the Sallies.  And last, the broken items that need to be sent to the tip or into a skip.  My daughter will take the bags and bags to the Sallies and I will work on the rubbish.  As for the broken items we will have to figure that out later on as my council only provide one hard rubbish removal a year.  Very inconsiderate and inconvenient.

When I moved the last of Mum's boxes from my neighbours garage back under my carport, I tossed heaps of magazines along with fabric, wool, kitchenware, furniture, clothing (baby, childrens and adult), shoes and anything else you can think of.  On reflection, it does get somewhat easier. I cannot believe I only left myself with 6 pieces of my furniture in the end from the garage, which includes a spare fridge.  Which looks like my daughter will take when she moves out later next year! Bright side is, after I get through with what is still left, which by the way is still abundant, I can start afresh. Woohoo.  But I cannot celebrate just yet.  Ahhh, that distant tantilising light.

I just want all this to be over now!

The day spent with my daughter was fantastic.  We worked like a well oiled machine with not one disagreement throughtout.  It is a relief to finally have her on board with a positive outlook rather than the negative one in the past.  Such a difference to the outcome.  This meant no matter how tired we were we were relaxed to handle the task at hand.

In the past I felt like I had to fight to be understood as to my methods and sequence of going about my humoungous downsizing.  This growth in her is remarkable and feel so proud of her for taking that leap of faith in trusting my process.

I am trully blessed with 2 of the most wonderful children.  They now embody what I have been trying to impart to them all these years.  But a mother's job is never done and neither has my decluttering for that matter.

A person in amongst my friend circle has suffered a blow in that his entire house was fire bombed and lost the lot.  I will be giving him one of the Christmas trees that is still its box unopened that Mum had along with some key items to get his family back up.  These items can be replaced for those they would like, but in the meantime it means my Mum's things will serve a purpose and that idea I really like.

A friend has offered to come over in the holidays to speed up this process and we will work on downsizing what's in the cupboards in the lounge and if possible including the kitchen area.  Then when I go through what's left of my boxes - if it doesn't fit - I will have to either give it away or change it for an item in that cupboard.  I just don't want to end up with only my Mum's stuff.  I still want my items as well.  But you don't need 5 dinner sets.  I have already given away 2 sets and I think I am down to 3 so one more to go.  This is where the hard part comes.  Deciding which to keep!!!

It truly is a dilemma of all magnitude.  I may have to resort to 'eany meany mo' method!  No joke.

Then there are the Latvian books.  There are soooo many.  I will keep the historical ones for sure.  The dictionaries, bibles, history and geography books, but will have to seriously look at the novels.  I just cannot keep them all.  Another huge job in itself. 

The there are all the photo albums and negatives as Mum was a prolific photo taker.  I will need to ensure who is who in the photos and take stock as in amongst her albums are Grandmum's albums as well.  You can see where I am heading here.  Yet another time consuming job.

Then there are all the letters and paperwork she kept.  I have the original tredle sewing machine she bought in the early 50s in Western Australia.  It is still in working order, with the original sewing tin and kit that came with the machine along with the receipt!  This totally blew me away.  Such history.  That will stay where it is and a hex to anyone who removes it. There are some things you just don't mess with.

Oh, by the way, my gorgeous Peter Jago hat did not sell... and yes, true to my word, off to the Sallies it went.  Now, that one wasn't easy.  I love my hats even if they no longer love me.

Christmas is fast approaching and I am thinking ... would it be in poor taste to gift some of this good stuff!  More than likely yes... but hell what am I to do?  In the area of cashflow, that side is ever so slowly improving, but again, I am in no way out of the woods as yet.

I have for many years now helped out at one of the Sallies branches for their Christmas drive in packaging and handing out bags of gifts for families so the children will have something under the tree, along with food vouchers and a Christmas fare basket as well.  I love doing this as it brings home how hard life is for others other than yourself.  It helps shift one's focus on the greater community rather than be self involved.  It also means you gain a greater appreciation for when the good times do get to come so you can share... and they come when one's attitude to receive is right.  You cannot receive if you do not give. 

Some people do go through life without a care or a thought for those around them and never help out their greater community.  If you choose not to help out your fellow man, then how can you expect to be helped yourself if you ever fall on hard times.  To lend a hand is divine and you gain more than you give.  To see a smile or a tear in another is a gift in itself.

I love my Sallies Chapter as they have stood by me and helped me through some very dark times without judgement or pressure.  Now that I am able to stand on my own once more is their reward.  They help all without question and sometimes I think, but this particular person is obviously going to the market to sell what you have provided.  And as one member leant over and quietly said, 'one day there maybe nothing of market value to give and instead a loaf of bread, then there will be no more market, but there will be food'.  They will still help these types as there usually are children involved so they find other ways in which to provide so that the children do not suffer.  Amazing people if you ask me.

Anyway, while my friend Kezza has been away she lent me her GPS.  As I am repping and on the road, even though I know my way around Melbourne more than most, I still have found this contraption invaluable in time saving.  I have now purchased one that was on sale and I talked them down for one that also give live traffic updates so I can avoid sitting in traffic.  I love it... thanks Kez.. you are a gem.  However, I still like the visual of a good old fashioned Road Map and hope they never stop printing them.  But I fear that that type of expertise my diminish.  Such is progress.

My front garden that was looking gorgeous now has weeds again.  Didn't have enough dosh for the mulch.  Will have to kill the weeds once the rains die down and hopefully by that time will have the dosh to get the mulch to avoid the regrowth.  As you can tell I do not possess a green thumb.  That gene skipped me.  Living on the land is in my heritage, but it escaped me.  Sad, but true.

Four more weeks till my Christmas break which will be for 3weeks.  Time to get my projects under way and either complete or more than half way done.  Also, have a few laughs and some small snippets of serious downtime with the family.  Really looking forward to it for the first time since Mum died. 

It is time.

It is time to allow myself to receive joy.

And time has been very kind to me in some ways.

The week prior to Christmas I will be busy with getting things ready for Christmas Eve, but I will be planning on still 'chucking' the stuff out also.  Let's hope I actually do it.

The next few weeks will be busy as with my head down and bum (bottoms to you guys overseas) up with the silly season upon us.

Shopping centres are to be avoided at all costs at Christmas time if you ask me.  However, my job takes me into this very horror zone each day!

I will survive!

Till next time my friends.  Trust your preamble to Christmas or whatever celebration you have will be a fruitful and happy one.

Cheers from less loaded
Anita
xxx