OFF TO A SHAKY START!

Hi Guys,

The start of the year went well enough.  Quiet, but pleasant.  But the heat hit us like a ton of bricks.

We had 5 straight days of 40+ Celsius, with the nights for the 4 nights not going below 29.  No relief and with rolling power outages it was a nightmare.  Where I live this in period and not unusual to have this oppressive dry heat as we get the Northerly winds that bring with it the extreme heat from the dessert.  All one can do is stay still and be in water to cool one's core temperature down.  Somehow, most of us got through, but the bush fire season started in full vengeance with one fatality already.  These are the summers I do not enjoy, but rather endure.

That being said, I still managed to go through the areas of where boxes had been left to be sorted in the office, lounge and dining table. 

I started in the office first, which took 2 days in that heat.  I just pottered in a go slow motion.  Then I worked my magic with what was on, under and around the dining table and then what had been placed in the lounge room.  This took over a week.  I found so many things that now are proving useful.  I even found my ring of commitment with my previous that I had forgotten about.  An Irish gold ring - a  Claddagh ~ symbolising 'Let Love and Friendship Reign Forever'.  Well, that worked a treat ~ not.  I bought it for him, myself ~ mine had an Emerald in the heart ~ and his daughter and my daughter and as our son was still a baby he was to get one later as our commitment as a blended family.  My ex never gave that ring to his son, but that's a whole other story for him to explain to his son now. 

But it is amazing how just seeing one item the memories come flooding back, good and bad.  Trouble is you don't tell your children all these stories as you forget them.  My daughter remembered the ring and still has hers.  As for my son he never knew and said his Dad still wears his and had no idea that I had bought that ring for him some 17 years ago now.  I was astonished to hear that he was still wearing the ring I had bought for him, especially by rights he should have passed it onto his son when we split.  But due to the fact that I had forgotten about it, I never really gave it much thought.  Something for them to sort out.

I found photos.  I came across small treasures.  Much of which had to be tossed and those that I wanted to keep a memory of to catalogue, well, I just took a photo and then was able to be discarded.

Found a quote I quite liked, which really is so appropriate to myself in light of my lack of motivation and that is "The secret to getting ahead is getting started" by Mark Twain.  Makes perfect sense, now doesn't it.

After having achieved all that, I came to a standstill, due to some personal upheaval and stressful situation.  There is nothing one can do when this happens and takes place.  You will find at times, when this happens, you have to set your projects aside and concentrate on what is happening in the now. 

Clearly a month has gone by and I have decluttered, but not to the extent I had intended when entering this year.  However, I do not feel low about this as it was out of my control.  In the meantime, a friend came over to see my Dad's and Granddad's tools and power tools to tell me their value and quality and what I should keep and what I could definitely let go. 

The bedroom is functioning well now and now that the tools are out from more of the drawers, it will be better organised even more.

Just a short one this time.  We celebrated Australia Day yesterday and I have to get a jiggle on with my studies of which I am massively behind on.  Just dealing with one situation and project at a time.

My plan is to get all the tools sorted and the little shed cleared and functional.  The spare fridge will go in there next.  Clear the corridor and what is underneath the carport.  That should take a few months as yet.  If I am lucky, I will then get to start taking boxes one at a time from the attic ~ "the last bastion" ~ to be dealt with. 

Then and only then will I feel I am on the home stretch.

However, you would think that would be it.  Then I have to go through all the cupboards that I have left till last to go through and have that one last cull to cut right back.

My method is to cull twice.  Not what the experts advice.  But, hey, this works for me. 

Do what best suits you and can live with.  That way there will be few tears at the end.  No regrets.  Just glad to see the end of the overwhelming 'stuff' myself.  But I am talking more than likely about another years worth of work as yet to be done.

Till next time.  Hope your decluttering is still happening for you and that you keep being kind to thyself.

Ciao for now
Anita who needs to go find her mojo.

THE YEAR THAT WAS!

Hi Guys,

Well, here in Australia it is the last day of 2013. 

I am sitting at my desk, in what I have turned into, my 'office', for better use of the space while decluttering .  This actually helped enormously.  But, boy, what a year I have had.  Stop, then start, then stop, then start again.  Up down and around.  I didn't know at times if I was Arthur or Martha!

The year began with this room being prepared for the new use.  Wish I had painted it now, but we were time poor.  Also, the weather here was stinking hot.  Mid January saw 40+ degrees Celsius - that's 104+ degrees Fahrenheit for those still using imperial measurements.  Bloody hot.

Most of this year, I felt like I was at a standstill due to the fact that I could no longer see my progress.  This is what happens and it can play tricks on you and make you feel like a failure.  I remember, I did a before and now, to perk up my being down in the dumps about it.  But it wasn't till mid December when a dear friend came to pick me up and had not been to my place for some years now due to living far away.  Her immediate response was, 'Wow, look how much has gone and how much better it looks... the photos on your blog do not do it justice'. 

Well, you could have bowled me over with a feather, as I had been feeling like I had made no progress at all.  But I had.  Little by little, bit by bit, you do get there.

Recapping on some of the main events of 2013 were:

- creating the office space.

-  rearranging the lounge and kitchen with my daughter and her boyfriend.

- holding the garden bee with loads of helpers to get the overgrowth back into check.

- started at the markets.

- sorted out again under the carport for Hard Rubbish and the triffid to be hacked at and gone.  Almost missed the Hard Rubbish, which would have been just wrong had I done that.

- had 2 or 3 total complete long stops through the year due to commitments outside of my control or via medical reasons and concerns.

- this year it was 6 years since I moved in and started this process.  Was hoping to be finished by now, but that was just not practical.  Being more than half way with that in mind just didn't seem good enough, hence why I started to feel low about it.

So that was the year that was. 

Doesn't seem like much, but it is much more than before and it is now out and gone forever. 

The bins have been full all year long and that is a good thing.  Where I used to live I would put the bins out every two or three weeks as I really didn't have much to toss out at that time and recycled really well.  Once my bins start to get that way here, then I know I will be done. 

Cannot wait for that day!

I also started out this year with the intention to sweep out the deadwood and clear the slate for a fresh start.  Along with eliminating any 'stressors' from my life to enable me to concentrate more on the job at hand, which was to get my home in order and to get a job being that I had been recently unemployed at that time.

Now, nearly a year on, I am still unemployed, but required by our Government to do some studies.  The first course was far too simple for me, but out of it came an unexpected opportunity and that was to get me to do a Certificate IV to become a Trainer and Assessor.  Loads of jobs in this field that lend itself to my abilities.  This will only be completed in March.  So 2014 is going to benefit from all the 2013 groundwork. 

Just like this one so had to toss it in for good measure.

            

 

 

Due to all the madness over the last few months my home has started to look like a dumping ground in far too many areas, but being time poor and having suffered a medical condition, I have had to let things pile up.  I have finally tackled my bedroom first with the floor now being free of boxes, bags etc and now onto the dining room table, which has papers and left over product still on it from my last job.

Next will be to tidy up the study once more and then lastly the lounge room that got a few boxes put in there for me to sort  through from the day we worked under the carport.  See how easily things can be derailed.  But if you are patient there does come a time you can tackle it. 

Managed to get some of my personal items out so I can fully enjoy them finally.

 

Now I have a 'go to' place for all my accessories.

Have to get a place to put all the perfumes my Mum had.  Some are just too good to just throw out and will use them.  I wont want for any perfumes except maybe for 'the' one I don't have.

This area below is still a work in progress.  Eventually, once I get through the whole lot, and I hope I then be able to go through what's left a second time round as I really do have far too much 'stuff'.  I fully intend to eventually cull it down to only the absolute favourite items.  I can hear a few of my friends having a full on belly laugh at that comment.  But I do mean it.  I just have to get through the first massive cull is all.

Again, if one cannot have a laugh or two along the way, then what's the point.  It just wouldn't be fun and what's the fun in that if one is not having fun!

            

 

Hope I am this interesting as I grow older.  However, I do have to start getting colour into my wardrobe.

 

 



           

This coming year I will attempt to get the garden looking nicer with even a foundation of some beautiful and colourful flowers.  This is more a dream than a reality at this stage though, but doesn't hurt to put it out there into the universe.

          

 

 

Even though my Mum tried her best to sort through her pile of treasures as well as her Mums, it really all landed in my lap to deal with.  I may not get to enjoy this as long as I would hope to, but I can rest easy knowing that I will have made life that little bit more easier for my children.  If nothing else we will have done that much.

 



 

                

 

 

I must say, I have not always felt all that confident that I would have been able to get this far.   The fact that I haven't gone further is proof that I am not perfect and that life does and will get in the way.  However, this does not entirely stop the process of decluttering.  It only slows it down.

 

 



                 

 

This next one isn't quite on topic of what I wanted to say, but I like it enough to include it any way.  Basically, I have had to be selective at times to drop the process of decluttering in order to get on by, well, not getting on.  We cannot do all that we want to get done as we get older and if we did we would do ourselves an injury.  I do know of some who are like Sherman tanks and just keep on keeping on and seem to have boundless well of energy that springs from no where, but I don't.  I do happen to have health issues that get in the way, and I choose to stick around for the more important things in life and those are my children, the family who do love me and my gorgeous friends whom I all love dearly instead of pushing myself too far.

 

However, I have noticed some run for the hills when I am about to ask for a small 'favour'.  Was it something I said as I ponder!  No all jokes aside, not many of my friends mind helping out, as I don't ask all the time.  I make sure that I do not abuse their friendship or their own personal time.  Rather have my friends than the help. 

 

 



 

Going with the flow is more sensible in the long run.  Being that many things are out of our control any way, it is best to try and be as positive and relaxed as possible to ride through any given situation that has halted the process in the first place.

 

              

 

 

So when this does happen.... as in 'stop' due to a situation... no not just reading, but an actual life event...  we have to be mindful to not go into stress mode.  Stress is dangerous to one's health.  Well, it has been for me and am under doctors orders to lead a 'stressless' life.

 

 

               

 

 

Due to this, I have had to learn how to best use that time in a useful way rather than 'stress' or 'worry'.  I don't always succeed, but I did find the best answer for me in the end with what helps me most when those 'moments of a holding pattern' occur.  And that is humour.  And here are some other suggestions.  But humour does it for me.  Oh, and music, but humour first then music.... or both together... oh, whichever comes first then.



 

 

                 

 



 

Humour really is the best medicine for me.  Here I am with a fellow ex ABC TV artisan and all round fun guy, Paul McDermott.  I was on staff and he was the talent.  Now, I can highly recommend comedy as the best elixir and you can ask me till the cows come home and I would still profess that humour is the best elixir to all ails.  A good old fashioned belly laugh fixes all.  That and a huge gorgeous hug does it also, but laughing is fantastic to soothe your soul and take your cares and troubles away.

 



 

 

 

Have to agree with Mae West.  You can never have enough wonderful.  So glad I went on my quest to distress my life at the start of this year.  



 

 

As 2013 is about to be washed away, it is a time to not only reflect on what was, but what will be.

 

 



 

 

I did get what I set out to do, at the beginning of this year, as to what I intended to get done.  To rid myself of the worries, the stress, the added workload for others and any thing that was negative in order to allow the positive options in to open up a brighter future for my family.

 



 

 

The only thing I need to add to this list below is 'MORE TOSSING' as in getting rid of the over-abundance of stuff.

 

 

 

 

If I happen to have a few things happen  to get in the way this year to slow the process down, then all I have to do is remind myself some simple rules.  The main one is just to smile and laugh a little or a lot. 



 

All of us do not know when things may go completely pear shaped and turn our lives up-side-down.  We all suffer the same way.  We all cry, laugh, fear, protect and so on.  Let's hope 2014 brings more compassion, friendship, understanding, laughter, health into our lives.  It truly is only one world.

 

 

 

This coming year I fully intend to do more relaxing and concentrate on getting to the 'Y' to start on that all important start on my general health.

 

 

 

Get outdoors and enjoy nature and the sunshine more.

 

 

 

Go to Art Galleries, attend more local events and participate fully with my local community.

 

 

 

 

To seize the day rather than let it slip by.  However, it does say in this piece not to shed a tear or not be sad.  Now that ain't gonna happen.  Apart from that, not bad sentiments expressed.

 

 

 As for all of you, I wish the following...

  

 

 

Most who make resolutions may feel this way about it.... let's face... how many of us keep our NYE resolutions any way.  The reason being is we make impossible ones instead of realistic ones.  Make them achievable instead of going down this track of thought....

 

 

 

 

2013 has been one tough year.  I have done much.  I have learnt much.  Out of work for the whole year, but studied in two courses with this current one looking likely to gain me employment.

 

 

Found this and it is so eloquent.  The full poem can be found via www.linda-ellis.com.  Making the most of my 'dash'.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just remember this...

 

 

 

  

Looking forward to watching the fireworks with my son and his friends, which is only 5 hours away now.  Just enjoying the simple things in life that are free.  Even though this is the Sydney fireworks, we shall be watching the Melbourne fireworks just for clarification.

 

 

 

Fully intend to have a laugh or more this coming year, listen to some music and play me some games.  For tomorrow, I will be back to decluttering. 

 

And I get to see my two children on the first day of the year, which is the day for family.   

 

 

 

 

 

What a great way to kick start the year off... couldn't think of anything better than that.  Sharing the love and friendship with family.

 

 

 

 

 

Have achieved a hell of a lot.  Have a long way yet to go.  Have to say I am glad this year will be over.  Have to say am looking forward to building a better, brighter and healthier new year ahead.  We shall see on next years reflection if this ended up being so. 

 

Ciao for now,

Thanks for reading my blog and for those who have contacted me and wishing you all a safe and happy year ahead.

Anita

x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



WHY DOES IT HAVE TO TAKE SO LONG TO GET TO THE FINISH LINE!

Hi Guys,

Life has a funny way of getting in the way of all or many of our 'good intentions'.

I have been down for the count with health and study issues.  I always wondered 'where is my energy?', 'why cannot I find my get up and go?' and so on.  I mean, in my head, I get every thing done, easy peasy.  But the minute I go to 'actually' do what I have envisioned, 'well, it couldn't be further from that vision', is all I can say.  I just found out that I have very little Vitamin D, which now explains much of the fatigue and inertia along with the muscle aches and horrid joint pains.  This should start to improve within 6 to 8 weeks now that I am correcting this lack.  When telling my female friends all said 'oh that, I had the same thing' or 'oh yes my Mum/Sister/Girlfriend had the same thing'.  Why do we not say something.  I was clueless.  All this suffering for something so easily fixed.  You live and learn.

Most persons who find themselves in a similar situation with too much stuff, generally are in their older years with health and family issues attached that greatly affect their effectiveness and ability to do much about it.  Depending on the magnitude of the stuff involved, this then exponentially magnifies the problem and task ahead.  That is why one must be mindful to be 'kind to thyself'.  No one else will be kind to you about your situation so you may as well be.  Instead, you find at times people waving their scrawny finger in your face with judgement and some times even with disdain.  Not a glimmer of support or understanding.  Just assumed falsehoods.

I have come a long way, but I do find the perpetual stop/starts still frustrating no matter how positive I try to remain.  Logically, I decided what is happening with my family has to come first along with looking for work and so on.  But once you have a health issue that stops you in your tracks to working on your project such as decluttering is when I begin to feel hamstrung.

I had a fall the other day at my course on the kitchen floor.  It was wet from the cleaner who forgot to put out a sign to warn others that it was slippery.  I walked in as I always did and whoosh, down I went on my left side trying not to hit my head and save my wrists. Since then I can hardly move and in much pain.  Life still goes on, but I am at a standstill because of this fall.  I still have to get the fundamentals done, but cannot achieve those extras like the purging and getting rid of stuff.

This is where one has to be mindful not to let this get you down and to stay positive.  You tell yourself that it is only for a moment and once well enough you keep on going.  But  you cannot help but see your timeline slipping further away.  But you have to keep studying to retrain for a new career path and is taking up much time with the added study and research and you feel it is taking a toll on your health due to the added stress and now the tumble I took.

When you have a plan, plan on the plan having to change and alter it's course along the way, as that happens often.  This journey I have now been on for some years, has taken much longer than I at first thought.  Never in a million years would I have expected to still be sorting through my Mum and Grandmum's stuff along with mine.

I had fully intended to take advantage of the markets, but the weather has not been kind for me to do and till my back is better I can't even do that.

In the meantime, I have been helped by a friend of mine who has given me some free passes to a pool so that I can go and do some walking and physio in the swimming pool.  That and a few chiro sessions will fix me up.  Lord, please let it be sooner rather than later.

I am a member of a few recycling groups and it never ceases to amaze me what these people find, retrieve to then restore and either use, give or in some few cases on sell for a small fee.  This all helps to keep the land fill to a minimum.  I have gathered that there are those that take umbrage at those who do find, retrieve and save these items.  More good is being done.  No harm no foul.  As I have noticed that many TV sets are being tossed out onto many nature strips at present as the change to digital comes closer and analogue phased out.  Perfectly functioning TVs being tossed.  Such a waste perplexes me.

Christmas is coming and it is the first time I am unable to buy presents.  It makes me feel sad that things have gotten that tight.  I remind myself that many others are worse off and count the blessings I do have.  On the other hand I will not be adding to landfill either.  I have made a pact with one friend that we 'don't give gifts this year' and just spend time together and enjoying the company and laughter. I could go through some of my stuff and give some of the best to those I love.  This sounds like regifting, but it isn't.  I will only do that if the item is truly wonderful or just what they want.  Other than that this Christmas is truly going to be about family and friends who only have love and light in their hearts.

Due to my health issues I must not have 'stress' around me.  Stress is the mortal enemy.

This year I set about eliminating as much stress as possible from my life and have managed to do just that in most cases.  Some were easy to do and others a little harder for certain personal reasons.  Toxic and negativity is just that no matter which way you cut it.  Now I only want those surrounding me to have laughter within and friendship without judgemental strings attached.  I am well on my way to this and I must say life has become brighter and more enjoyable even with these constant stops and starts that I keep experiencing along the way.

I met up with a girlfriend recently, whom I had not seen for some 25 years.  We had so much to catch up on. What amazed me is what she remembered and how comforted by that I was.  She is also on the path to rediscovering her way forward.  All the years washed away and it felt like just yesterday.  The reconnect with kindred spirits is what I now look forward to and embrace a more lighter, softer and kinder connection with all those in my life.

You may be thinking, what has all this got to do with decluttering.  Glad you thought that! Well, how we feel about ourselves is important as to how we function.  We all get battered around while traversing through life and the way you feel will decide the outcomes.

If you are negative and down this will equal that not much good will get done.

If you are positive and feel good about yourself this will equal that you will set out to get things done.

It is quite simple really.

Most of those whom I have spoken to over the last few years that have this issue - and again I will state whether of your own doing or inherited or however it happened - I have noticed a common thread and that is all end up feeling that they have no self worth, lack confidence or develop a deep depression due to being weighed down by the problem and then feeling bad if they are not able to deal with it quickly and expediently.

Life is not perfect and neither are any of us.

So why do we expect to all of a sudden be able to perform miracles?

So I haven't achieved as much as I had wanted.  Big woop!  Who cares!  Am I hurting any one?  Heck no!

So why get down on yourself for something that you have no control over.

If you find yourself in my situation where you cannot get started for a while and fear that you wont keep going, that is where the positive attitude comes in.  It does help.  It is such a simple thing to do.  Yet one of the hardest to achieve.  Once you get this right, so will your ability to deal with the process to get to the finish line.  No matter when that will be.

My finish line is not all that far now, but still have a ways to go to get there even so.  Without my health I cannot get on with what I want to get done and I have chosen to work on my health first in order to then be able to get on with what needs to get done!  Simples.

We just lost a shining light - Nelson Mandela.  So much that he did and lived spoke volumes to me.  His words resonate so much wisdom and have to take the time to share some here. I see much of what he says as being helpful, comforting, uplifting and caring, which is what one needs when on this journey.  One has to have not only positivity, but also determination, endurance and tenacity and if possible calm and a massive sense of humour!

Here are some well known passages from writings and speeches by Nelson Mandela and now famous quotes that I have personally found helpful while on my journey to declutter.

The need to keep on keeping...

Keeping on keeping on and nothing wrong with falling down... no pun intended...

Doing this blog about my 'stuff' issue has helped me enormously to first off deal and face it no matter how confronting and on the way get to know human nature.  I do hope that I have opened some closed eyes/hearts/minds that a situation is not always as it 'looks or seems'...

And it does always seem impossible until you realise you can achieve your way...

Just for interest the history on this sculpture is ... It consists of 50, ten metre high laser cut steel plates set into the landscape, representing the 50 year anniversary of when and where Nelson Mandela was captured and arrested, on August 6 1962, prior to his 27 years of incarceration.
Standing at a particular point the columns come into focus and the image of Nelson Mandela can be seen.

The sculptor is Marco Cianfanelli, of Johannesburg. An amazing creation!

Stop talking.  Just do.  Be your destiny that you would like...

It is always about the choice you make in the end...

Just trying is a good start....

Until I get my energy levels back up, I will just keep on trying, even if it means I have to crawl in order to get it finished.

Once you have made that commitment and decision, it is only full steam ahead, even with all the pit stops and side trips there may have been along the way and to come...

Nothing is going to stop me from realising my promise to my Mum.  The job will get done.

Just like the Tortoise.  I will get there.

All the time remembering, just be kind to thyself.

Cheers to you all
Anita
ps. As that one saying goes 'don't sweat the small stuff', and as I like to tack on to that with... 'as the big stuff needs sweating first!'!

SIX YEARS ON & TIME TO REMEMBER MY MUM.

Hi Guys,

Where has the time gone?

Today's blog is in honour of my Mum.

On 28 October it was six years since my beautiful and most loving Mum died from a chemical that she innocently worked with that shortened her life by 15 to 20 years.  Foolishly she trusted the company she worked for.  You go to work to live not die.  She ended up having hers drastically cut back by going to work for her family's well being at the cost of her own.

My Mum was not the only one ever to have this happen to her.  Many have worked with other such carcinogenic chemicals, one example being asbestos.  In past centuries it was the coal pits and mines that shortened peoples lives and so it goes on and on.  All these workers just wanted to live a better life.  But greed and big corporates seem to have a way of taking that right away so effortlessly.

And this is what I say to those who practise such deceit and treachery throughout the centuries that have harmed all those who worked so loyally for them to be only repaid with cancer.

I don't mean to start out on such a sad topic, but it was my Mum's wish that I be able to have a roof over my head, but in so doing also handed me a heavy load to tow.  

Here I am with my Mum on a Mother's Day Lunch at the Latvian Village.

She was aware what a massive job she was leaving me to deal with and that the middle sister would try through whatever measures to make me cave to her demands once Mum was gone.  My middle sisters methods did prove to be unscrupulous and even took me by surprise at what lengths she would go to.  No one saw, so no one other than me felt the effects.  I always found how she treated our Parents with such outwardly disrespect offensive, along with her husband.  I watched on since a child and what I saw was appalling to say the least.  She also set out to split me and my two children from what little family we had. The divide is there now for all time.  No going back once done.  Sad, but true.  Not of my doing and out of my hands.  But the twisted lies she told others has done its damage and I have always wondered why none ever bothered to question or find out for themselves by asking me directly. Even so, Mum's love pulled me through and now have a lot to be thankful for.

Thankfully, all of Mum's girlfriends knew the truth about what took place, day after day for nearly forty odd years and stood by me after Mum died.  One by one, they are slowly going also.  Most recent was a most beautiful, caring Latvian woman that my Mum knew from the early years in Western Australia.  I even had baby baths with her youngest son.  Funny to think about such things now when you are middle-aged.  Her support of me was so profound that I had to go to her funeral.  

It was at this funeral that her daughter, who was old enough to remember events in WA, as I was just a baby back then and have no memory of that time.  She reminded me of things that I had long forgotten.  

Out of the blue after I said how much her Mum had protected me from my middle sister, she said she knew all about that as her Mum had always kept her informed and told her the many stories over the years about what this sister was like to Mum and myself.

For the first time in almost 6 years, a person who knew the facts and knew the truth as it really was, stood before me in the flesh.  I didn't have to explain.  I didn't have to do anything as this person just knew.  She recounted some of the stories and I began to feel feelings that I hadn't felt in a long time.  Last time I felt that way was when chatting with Mum and my other older sister before they died about this middle sisters antics. She even went as far as to state she couldn't believe how nice I had been during the contesting, considering what that middle sister put me and Mum through over those many years.  What a relief.  I felt validated.  The funny thing is, I found out she lives just around the corner from where I am now and we agreed we must get together.  I am very much looking forward to this.

As my Mum's besties leave this earth, I have begun to appreciate their warm collective hug that they so firmly held around me during my most vulnerable years even more now as time goes by.  They have been my angels watching over me.

What strong and principled women they are and were.  Age and wisdom.  I was beginning to understand the true value of their metal.  I still have a few of these friends left that I chat to and see.  My wonderful neighbour May for one.  She just turned 88 and she invited me to her 90th already. It will be a huge celebration as she is such a well respected resident of the district in which we live in.  She is extremely annoyed with the middle sisters behaviour and choices and remembers well what this one did to her Mum. She knows as she saw first hand, being that she lived right across the road.  May has worked tirelessly and given much of her time to many charities and organisations throughout her years. She is well written with books about the history of this district.  I love hearing her stories first hand over a cuppa tea and her home made cakes or biscuits.  She said just the other day that it will be 100 years since the Keeley family have lived in Clayton in 2017 on Boxing Day if I remember correctly.  She even went as far as to say she hopes she will be around to celebrate that also.  Now how wonderful would that be and cannot see why not!

I may not have had the nicest middle sister, but I like to instead look at what I did have and still have. I am blessed that my older sister was my kindred spirit and we were as close as any two sisters could be and then some, the most loving of parents, the best children anyone could hope for, what little family members who have stuck around and chosen not to listen to the innuendoes and rumours, some of the closest and supportive of friends in the world to then be even more fortunate to still have many many more long term friends whom I have known for years over the years and the best and most considerate of neighbours. I have made many friends and have lost a few and some have come back.  But I have more than I have lost.  No matter what, I appreciate all my friends, for without them, I would have been more lost than I otherwise would have been.  How do you begin to show your appreciation for all that love and care?  Now, I must have done something right to have all these riches of the heart and soul.  Love in abundance abounded and kept me from going mad.

As for the home front, I have my Mum to thank for that, myself and my children.  If not for her, I more than likely would have ended up destitute.  Life has many twists and turns, not all of your choosing or doing.  Life just happens.  

The rug of life can be pulled from under ones feet with just a few short sharp quick consecutive tragic outcomes to end up in a very very deep pit in no time with no way out that you can see in the foreseeable future.  Once there it is one of the hardest places to climb out of.  

Tenacity and bloody mindedness and youth helps.  The older you are the harder it gets to get out.  My Mum's story is one of struggle, death, loss and hardship, but also filled with true love twice over and her love of her children.  I recorded her telling some of her story and will endeavour to do it justice one day and set it to paper.  She was one tough lady filled to the brim with love. 

So my gorgeous Mum "I Thank You" for loving me, believing in me, appreciating me and in the end helping me have that chance to gain that grip to be half way out of that deep dark place.  

Here I am on my 50th with my two very special women, whom I had the utmost respect and love for and who will forever fill my spirit and soul, along with all my other loved ones.

I say this now as it is strange how things happen when they happen.  You seem to hear things when you most need it.  I had been so sad of late and missing Mum so very much, as well as my closest friend in the world who just happened to be my big sis the closer this 6 year mark came up.  

Just checking in!

I have come a long way in these last six years.  I have had mountains of pain and shed torrents of tears.  The Will stated I had six years tenancy, at which point, if I was unable to pay the recipients out, I would have to sell my home to do so.  Thank goodness I had the foresight to get the Home Loan when I did.  Yes, my middle sister got paid much earlier, but I also thankfully still get a chance to keep my home.  

As sad a situation it is, it was my middle sister who chose to shut me, neice and nephew out of her and her family's life.  The flip side of this, means, I no longer have to deal with her pot shots at me and about me. For years her insults and passive aggressive treatment of me hurt me deeply.  This is more than likely the reason why I use humour to escape or deal with tough situations.

Life has been way more peaceful without all that melodrama that she created constantly all my living years.  I don't miss that side of her one bit.

She was happiest when she made my life miserable.

If she ever had a change of heart for whatever reason, she would have to do some serious convincing from her part.  I have always gone by 'actions speak louder than words'.  She gave no thought as to how her neice and nephew would be affected by her words and actions, which have hurt them profoundly.  As for me, she has a lifetime of slights and slurs to heal that she has inflicted on me.

I doubt she ever will, as her way of treating me has been well entrenched all my life.  Many only wake up to what they have done or created when it is too late to do anything about such actions from their past.  But for what it is worth, I have chosen to live in the present moment with happiness and compassion in my heart as much as possible and not bitterness as it seems is the case for my middle sister.

And just get on with the business of living a life that matters.

I have been unemployed for nearly a year now.  By the time I finish this course I am doing, I am going to try with all my might to maintain and hold onto my home.  This is the plan and this is what my Mum wanted for me. A roof over our heads and not as much worry and stress.  However, we all have worry and stress in this day and age.  None of us can escape it.  The powers to be make sure of that one.

But, even the powers to be cannot take a rainbow away from you.  I have actually stood at the end of a rainbow and it was the most beautiful experience and that memory has never faded.

I choose to be positive more times than not and go with the flow so that stress will not further harm my body and soul.  Funny thing is my blood type just so happens to be B+!

Even though I have not managed to clear all the gear as yet, I certainly have come a long way and can be happy and proud and sad all at the same time about that.

I have to constantly remind myself to do just this.  Breathe.  Amazing how it does help.

I always try not to take life's constant knocks or myself too seriously.  It just makes matters worse, not better.

I fully intend to go for that Gondala ride weaving through the canals of Venice one day as one of my many rewards.  Being that I have stood at the end of a rainbow my other 'wish' would be to witness an Aurora Borealis before I leave this earth.

Or try something that would scare the heck out of me.  Ballooning!

I still have room for more fun, laughter and many more good times with those I love and care about.

Thankfully, even though I have had many stops and many starts, I have never given up.  Even though I have wanted to.  

I really like this piece and six years ago one of Mum's girlfriends gave this to me to help me through the tough dark days and  think it important to share here now.

"What will Matter"

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.
There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.
All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.
Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.
It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear.
So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to-do lists will expire.
The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
It won't matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.
It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built; not what you got, but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success, but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence, but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.
What will matter is not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident.
It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.
Choose to live a life that matters.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

 Author: Michael Josephson

I know I can make it by making it matter.  As the saying goes 'Fake it till you Make It!'. 

It will still take more time, but it will all be worth it in the end.

No matter what happens.  No matter what life still has in store for me.  No matter will matter in the end as I know I matter.

Keeping up the momentum of throwing out, purging, tossing, give away, liquidate, clean out, remove, get rid of, expel, eliminate, remove, dispose of, erase, eject, transfer out, withdraw, relocate, shift, delete.  No matter the word you use or the action you do, as long as the 'stuff' keeps on going in one direction and that is on it's way 'OUT' then one day you can say 'I've done it'.  'It's all sorted.'  'I now have room to move and live that life that I deserve.'.

I am still doing and still going.
Will not stop till the job is done.
To honour my last promise and assurance to my Mum.
Dusi saldi mana milja Mamulin.

Cheers,
Anita