DID I SAY NO MORE ROAD BLOCKS! I SPOKE TOO SOON.

Hi Guys,

Been getting more and more stressed as a certain day looms and becomes closer and closer by the minute.  Mid November has so many things happening with all events colliding at the one time and in my case date.

Yet another turning point in my life.  

And one that I do not particularly welcome as I have been down this road once before and it certainly isn't much chop with the possibility second time round.

At times, right now, I feel something like this.

Time to pull out all stops.

In the meantime, my stress levels have gone through the roof and this is when one has to try and stay mindful not to undo what has been achieved and avoid coming to a complete halt in any further progress of ridding oneself of the overload of stuff, no matter how much smaller it is from the original mountainous size that was.  Stagnation can set in, if one let complacency back in, even backslide considerably.

Wont let that happen and wont let the alternative happen and that is ~ lose my home.

My home sweet home.

How can this happen.

Rather easily really.

More than one could imagine.

All it takes is one domino to fall and knock the next over for events to quickly snowball and take over and make life impossible.  Unfortunately, there are many who are in the same boat or far worse off.

Having experienced this nearly 20 years before at losing a home and being forced to walk away was an experience I never wished to revisit ever again.  I remember all too well how horrid it felt and the lasting repercussions.

And yet, here I am at that very exact spot!

Being older and somewhat wiser, I have decided being armed with such knowledge that I shall not go down without a fight and use my past experience to pre-empt a better outcome and one that I chose and not by my situation.

How did I get here?  Sounds like a song and good question.

In basic and simple terms, I had not planned to be 'out of work' for 22 months.  I expected to be back in the saddle by now.  This meant trying to juggle and cope with a mortgage, all related minor debts, then bills, then day to day living costs and anything else to keep one's roof over your head.  There comes a time when one can only go so far.

I have come to that pointy end.

Well, my crunch time has reared up, which so happens to be 14 November when all my incomings change and dramatically alter overnight to become half my outgoings!

See my impending dilemma.

I honestly thought I would have employment by now in order to get through.  I only need another 2 to 3 years here to live create a life without constant struggle for the first time ever.  Not a huge ask.  But looks like the Universe has other plans in store for me  ~ perhaps I will be able to circumvent.

The problems I am facing are several fold.

First, being the obvious.  All the 'stuff' that is still left to deal with.  Still a massive task ahead with or without pending loss of home.  With or without the huge strides I have so far made.  Not the look one wants when selling a home.

This is when one can lose it.  As in the plot.  And give up and just throw one's arms up in the air and just say 'stuff it'.  Pardon the pun.

Having lost a home before, I know all too well how it feels.  As I said earlier it was some 20 years ago and I had what was termed a 'Ministry of Housing' loan to allow those on low incomes to afford to buy lower cost housing.  I sensibly bought in a good location.  My only saving grace.  Many went out into the outer regions where land value rose slowly back then to their future detriment.  None of us knew the doom and this loan would do to us all.

When those 18% plus interest rates hit, this is when the cracks of this loan began to show and once they started they widened quickly and broadened its reach to one and all that had one.  Many had to declare bankrupt thanks to this ill conceived loan.  Due to a series of events, I too got caught up in this madness and horror and was forced to sell before I also would have had to declare bankruptcy.  I got out destitute, but I got out bankrupt free as well.  Thank goodness for small mercies.

However, it is a hard climb back from that place.

Not only do you lose your home, you also lose your ability to fight for a while as the stuffing just gets ripped out of you.  And for those who had to go bankrupt their whole life gets put into some sort of perpetual coma.  This was just another reason why I spiralled out back then.  My personal Sara Lee Cake of Horrors.  Layer upon layer upon layer of horror events.  And if another person tells me it is meant to test me I shall SOL (scream out loud).

Trust me I am well and truly tested.  In the end back then, it didn't make me stronger.  It flattened me.  Not a good cake at all.  Some one definitely left that cake out in the rain!

Seem to be using a few old song phrases this time round.  Apols for that folks.  But I like it!

That was then, and I have faced more than my fair share of adversity and still managed to get where I am now in spite of it all and with a smile on my face and in my heart.

However, it is beginning to feel a lot like a personal Groundhog Day moment for moi once more.

These sort of events in bulk can literally suck the life force out of you.

But, and this is a big but, but not if I can help it.

Woke up a few weeks ago in a panicked state with this knowledge of impending doom.  In my total state of fright and without thinking jumped onto the computer and internet and put myself out there.  Literally.  Me and my car (and I know that is grammatically incorrect by the way) were going to see what we could do to get at least the minor debts out of the way so I could at least have a fighting chance to stave off the wolves from my doorstep, even if it was just for a little longer to sort the stuff.

With great flurry I set up on the spur of this woken moment, "JUST CALL ANITA", on Facebook, offering my specialised services to give lifts to others with unique needs and safe passage to bring together all my skills and years of expertise and most of all my love of helping others.

Being that would not be an overnight deluge of bookings I had to think quick about how I could come up with the required means to get to that then 8 weeks away finishing line.  

Two days later I set up, "ANITA'S SECOND HAND STUFF", again on Facebook, offering any item that I had to chink away at those minor debts as quickly as possible.  This all takes time also and have had to move quickly, which for me is not my usual self.  Now have the 'stuff' on eBay as well, which means I am covering as many bases as possible.

                                                                                                                                                                   

Suffice to say there has been some joy so far, but not enough as yet for me to get me across that line in order to breath easier.  However, I am closing that gap, centimetre by centimetre, inch by inch, littl by little.  Every bit counts and gets me closer to saving form selling home base.  Now, I felt I was doing something proactive enough for there to feel hopeful.  The support has been amazing and even surprising.  I may have even stumbled onto a need and may have just found my way to a new fledgeling career opportunity and be self employed as well.  Be my own person.  Scary, yet exhilarating all at the same time.  But, first things first.  Save the home.

It is said that at such harsh and difficult times when one reaches an all time low that these moments are just the thing that gives you the kick up the butsky to get you going.  I know I am going somewhere, just don't know which way as yet.  Well, that kick was swift and a tad brutal and I have taken on this titanic kick to address this jolt head on.

I still have less than five more weeks to go to turn things around and even though I have a feeling it still isn't quite enough and isn't going to be an easy ride, it sure is going to be a ride with hope, joy, tears, friendships and new experiences.

This ship or should I say 'home' ain't sinking just yet.

I also got approval from Uber and have the car ready to earn via that method as well and just about to start.

All combined I do hold hope.

There are other things afoot to get my family across that line.  All in all, no matter what the outcome, I will at least feel I have done my best and tried.  Trying to stay positive and focused as.  Fingers crossed folks, I am in for a bumpy ride.

In the meantime, I am trying to hang on tight to staying the course in the decluttering side of things as well during this stormy patch.   Not easy.  This basically makes the task all that much harder.  I am doing my best to turn this around in the face of all that may happen.  Rather a positive outcome from this situation than a double negative.  Having been there before I know how fast one can slide back.  No one wants to.  It is just human nature in many cases to do so as the avalanche can be all consuming and to go into a depression is after all just a mechanism that takes you into a vacuum or void as a self protective measure.  In other words, checks you out till it is safe to come out is how is view it in simplistic terms and thinking.  Even the most stalwart and strongest peeps can come crashing down.  I just don't have the time to go there again.  I have learnt that it is okay to take the time to heal, but right now I just cannot falter.  I have to get through this also.  One more time.  As I said before, all it takes is just one event, and boom,  just one domino falls to start that chain reaction on a fast track to a hell hole of hurt and pain that no one ever wants to experience over and over again.  Least of all me.

I ain't going back.  No way.

I am driving others around and finding it to be fun and fascinating and enjoy immensely hearing the various stories.  Life and people are fascinating.  Working for yourself is scary.  As I mentioned before, it is exhilarating and liberating at the same time.

This type of work will also be very good for me as well.  To be surrounded by active people and being involved rather than detached.  Diving in can be just the answer, just as much as taking time out.  I do believe, diving in will be my elixir, this time round.

As for my stuff being up for sale, it is still a long process.  Have sold some things, but have so much more.  Am trying to sell the 'big ticket' items to get one of the two smaller debts completely snuffed out.  I had been reducing these all along over the last few years, but time has beaten me and need to speed things up.  I want all my choices still open to me and not most of them closed.  Again, not asking for much.

My neighbour has offered to help me in the task of getting more items up for sale.  This is how wonderful the people who surround me.  Why wouldn't I fight to stay!  And by the way I will take up that offer.  Love you for much more than this Tash.  You are one in a million.

The positive spin to this is, I am getting double the value.  Hopefully solving my impending gloom and getting rid of the 'stuff' to boot.

Hallelujah for that at least!

It is a lot of work this eBay and this posting items for sale.  There are the photos, the research, the description, the measuring, the chose of which category, decisions on values and then the waiting and watching and answering questions and the packing and the posting and the picking up and it all starts again.  It is a veritable bloody full time job this on line sales bizo!

Phew, I am exhausted already just writing this paragraph.  I just cannot see how some find it so easy and fly through it all.  I do admire that capability.  But I will persevere as the reward is so worthwhile.  I get to keep my "family home" the old homestead.  Not a bad incentive at all.

The only difference this time from the last time from losing my home and having to sell, is, that I ended up with nothing.  Literally, nothing.  This time, I will have something at this older age, but not enough to breathe comfortably.  If I could last just that little bit longer, that breathing space becomes just that little bit more easier.

Why then, would one not try to hang on.  

For me the decision to fight on is a no brainer for me.

There are two camps of thought that I have noticed and that is,

'Get out now' and the other,

'I get why you want to hang on a little longer'.

Those that have said, 'just sell and rent' may or may not have experienced such a situation.  But I do not wish to be so presumption to think that way.  Some seem more flexible than I am and better equipped in their ability to pick up and move on.  Wish I had that, but I don't.  And it doesn't help that it is not an ideal market out there for rentals as well.  For this reason due to the timing having to leave right now does not bode confidence in me as I have lived in many rentals over the years with both good and bad results from landlords and they can be fraught with horrors due to the fact that I would be renting at the lower end of the market due to affordability.

Then there are those that get why I have the need and desire to 'hang on and fight that little more'.  The ease of a future of being comfortable even if it is just and not in constant struggle.  To be able to afford to live rather than exist.  The other to not be a burden on your family and be independent for as long as possible.  Choices really.

This could go either way.  It is just a matter of which way it goes.

Holding on or letting go.

Which will it be?

No matter the outcome, for me to fight means I will have tried and then no matter the outcome, I will be able to accept and live with the results.  If, at the end of the day, I still have to put the home up on the market, well, I will and I can then live with the knowledge that I gave it my best shot.  I wont be 'destitute' even though most of those doors, choices or options will be closed to me.  I just wish I was younger to cope better with the onslaught of what I know will happen in that case scenario.

Some find it easy and even like moving.  I don't.  Many don't.  Especially as you get older.  I know that the alternative path means several moves ahead in store.  Whereas, I was planning for only the one till my children shove me where ever in years to come, hopefully with internet or whatever medium it will be by then!

Here is another observation.  The more you move the less you accumulate.  Just stands to reason.  That is one way so many end up with 'too much stuff'.  Another way is like myself and inherit it the situation.  Also, moving costs money and not just a little, but a lot.  No wonder people stay put.  And no wonder so many get into a 'too much stuff' state of bother.

So there you have it.  I have almost had it.  The question is, will I make it and which way am I heading?

Shall know soon enough.

Here are of the items already being offered thus far and some of the items on ebay, for those wondering what I have put up for grabs and many of you will know that I will have an abundance of with so much more 'stuff' to come.  The Soda Cyphon was snapped up first and some vintage pure wool and the Pump 'Air' Pot already gone and the rest being watched with some appearing to having little interest.  I am hoping Dad's tools will be bought so they can be used once more as they were extremely well looked after.  As for the One Armed Bandit many believe to be illegal, but they are not.  Only if it can be used to profit from and this one only takes US dollars and barely much at that can fit in there.  It is a novelty machine only.  By the way Anthony Perkins from "PSYCHO" movie fame used to toss coin in this little number and pull that plastic gold handle a few years before he passed away when working in his later years as this belonged to his Agent and was in the waiting area when he went to see him at Swenrick Agency in LA.  Bought it myself from the Agent directly when I went to  the Long Beach Trash and Treasure.  Will have to find his business card to confirm the provenance.  All the wool was made at my Mum's place of employment just around the corner from where I live, the old family home, and is the really well made pure wool and beautiful to knit with.  Also, some items given to me recently to sell to help me out by my beautiful friends Mum.  I do have so many wonderful gorgeous caring friends who surround me.  The family what I call the Jetson space age look lamp stand with coffee table from the 60s and other topical items from by-gone era's.  With oh so much much more to see the light of day.

                                 

Now it isn't like I do not know what is about to happen.  I do.  Sucks.

No matter what the Universe has in store for me, I will have done all I can.  All I know is, I do not like the feeling one bit.  I have been down and travelled this road once before.

For instance, when you chose to move you are eager and looking forward to it, which puts you in a good mood and things then fall into place generally and when hiccups happen along the way, one copes and deals with it.  Whereas, if  it is not of your choosing to move and thrust upon you it just is not fun and sucks big time all round in all facets.

That is why it is even more 'important' to try and not go down that drain hole into the deep dark abyss of depression and so on.  Hard to do, as all your focus is on survival at the time.

Now, for most, if this is the first time you get knocked down, one tends to get through it with a certain amount of bruising.  But, if one has been knocked down habitually with no let up, well that is a whole different kettle of fish altogether.

For me, over the years of collective horrors, if it had not been for my family, as in my Mum, Dad and one big sis, Sylvia and I were each others rock, my kids, as well as my dear friends and they know who they are, I would have been an even bigger mess than I ended up.  Even though I may have lost half my support team since, those who are still with us sustains me and keeps me going to get through.  Their comfort, support and love does make a difference.  Not all have this luxury.  I do hold onto this very dearly and feel blessed knowing I have this.  It is the simple acts of kindness that mean the most in the end and when added up, do count.  Priceless.

However, I have had some achievements of late and I am going to hang onto those, as in the achievements, not the stuff.  Still have to have a laugh.  It helps keep one's sanity.

Will be busy for a while and may not be back on here till I know the outcome.  Will try to keep you all posted.

Cheers
Anita

                                      

MINI UPDATE!

Hi Guys,

Just wanted to say progress is being made and give you all a mini update.

Rome certainly wasn't built in a day and I am proving that this decluttering business doesn't take overnight either.

Due to the Jason Recliner going to a dear friend who will so enjoy my Dad's well looked after and much loved chair, I felt good that it was going to one who I knew would get comfortable use out of it.  This also meant that it has now started the next chain reaction.

Due to this it even meant the office area got sorted some more.

Here is Jason about to leave the premises.

Here is Patsy who helped supervise the move.                          

  


And the additional Shiatsu Massage Pad will also come in handy.














The beginnings of the office set up with what we have at hand is finally taking shape.  All old and out of date by now, but still in working order and useful to us.  Got to make do with what one has at hand.

As you can see I like my stuff within arms reach.  I just have too much stuff at this current time.  But time and effort will fix that to be at a comfort level that suits me.  

Time has been both my friend and enemy these last seven years.  However, this Christmas is looking better by the minute.  We may even have that Christmas tree up this year for the first time since my Mum passed away.  Now that is something to work towards and get a jiggle on for.

For those who still are feeling a lack of motivation or still feel like they are standing in quick sand and in perpetual limbo.  Take heart.  With every 'mini', 'little', 'tinsy tiny' effort and item you do remove or deal in a final way will eventually start to move quicker as time goes by.

Think of it this way.

You have to move a ten tonne truck on your own!  Yeah, right!  But, with each push and pull, sweat and tears, when you start pulling with all your might that truck does eventually move that first inch and then another and then another and then the movement gathers momentum with the positive energy and starts to move more swiftly and easily till you get that ten tonne truck moving at a rapid rate of knots.  It is just a matter of sticking to it at the start, till that first movement happens.  Don't give up.  It will happen.  Determination under all the crap feelings will see you through.

It is when you start to connect with that underlying deep down and at times very well buried self determination is when you know you are on your way.  It takes as long as it takes.  Just hopefully not forever.

Again, I will say, 'BE KIND TO YOURSELF' while unloading and please 'TAKE YOUR TIME BY DOING THIS IN SMALL SEGMENTS',

We all fall down.  Just don't stay there.

DON'T GIVE UP!  EVER.

As for me, onto the next part, which is selling off more of my wonderful and glorious clutter that will hopefully keep me out of the gutter!

Gotta laugh.

Cheerio till next time.
Anita

HAS 'HHH' HELPED? HELL YEAH! AND THEN SOME!

Hi Guys,

Just a quickie to say that the bookshelf now looks fabulous and houses all my photo albums along with the books I wanted to still keep and are sorted into their respective categories.  A small achievement, but I will take and have celebrated that.

Now as I go out the door I smile as my entrance looks so much nicer.

This has now snowballed into more movement within the home front in a positive way.  Little by little, bit by bit more is being tossed that needs to be tossed and those items that need to be dealt with before tossing is also well on the way.

For example, all my VHS tapes that hold all sorts of vision, I am dubbing down onto DVDs.  Don't like the medium, but it sure does save on space.  So I shall lump it.  In the case of family memories. I am holding onto those VHS's only and making sure I have several back ups.  In some cases I even have the film stock.  But only family footage.  The rest goes.  All this will be now kept in one area, instead of here there everywhere.

Will place all of my Mum's albums in this bookshelf as well as I find them.  So nice to now be able to access easily.

As for the Jason Recliner that I pictured in my last entry, well, the minute I put that up for sale, was snapped up by a dear friend who I know will get much joy and use of this still very comfortable chair.  No biddings so he is getting a bargain and I am throwing in the Homedics Shiatsu Massage Pad as well for him.  Helps him.  Saves me.  Win win if you ask me.

This will again help with my domino of stuff as it makes room for the chair that I have had in storage for 10 years to finally be used as there will now be room for it.  This then moves more from under the carport, which has been at a standstill till now over winter.

Spring has sprung and once the rains are done with, I will be out there once more to shift more of the stuff.  Not so bad on pleasant temperature days.  But on those blistering hot or freezing cold blustery days, well, not so pleasant.  If it was a garage then my work would have been done sooner, as then I could have still worked on, even in inclement or unpleasant conditions protected from the elements.  But, I do not have that luxury.

This was the photo of the chair that I put up.

 Next on the agenda is to set up a dedicated facebook page solely to function in selling my 'wares and tares' at a reasonable realistic rate to help the process along.  So many are giving me such wonderful advise and information in this area, it is bound to help with the ongoing purging and also may help with the financial side, even just a little, while I am out of work and very much looking.  Cannot wait for 'the' job.  Instead have to be proactive in any way I can.


Was thinking of naming the site, 'ANITA'S NIK NAK TREASURE TROVE'.

What do you think?  Catchy or too much?

Will have to work on it quick smart, as I do not wish to delay once the weather improves.  Would like to have the home front looking more 'schmick' before my daughters wedding or let's get real wishful here and try for before this Christmas!  Good heaven's that would be an achievement if I did do just that.

Huffington Post Live contacted me a second time now, to participate in a group skype discussion on those who struggle with the issue of hoarding along with an array of experts and those who suffer and those who have family with the issue and so on.  They wanted a few from varying angles to chat about this topic.

I see this as very healthy as long as it is proactive and helpful.  Being that the skype interviews are done from the east coast of USA, and at the time of the interview I am tucked up in bed and in the middle of the night where I live, I am not at my best or bright eyed and bushy tailed to speak, let alone concentrate on the discussion fully at that time in the morning.  2 am approximately for me.

Apparently, I am on some sort of top 10 recommended blogs that are about 'hoarding'.  Nice to know and glad that I have had an impact in a positive light.

I hope to participate in one of these discussions in the future and in time I more than likely will.

This interest, I see as a good thing in order to get information out there to help those who need it most.  As long as it is positive and proactive, then I am all for it.  The more discussions we have about uncomfortable issue's, the more informed the community will become and be equipped with the right information and knowledge, that will enable for a better and healthier outcome all round.  Just makes for common sense to me.

In the meantime, those who have recently found themselves struggling with too much stuff as it can snowball due to a series of events, be it stuff stuffed into one room behind a closed door that looms larger than life with a heartbeat of its own to be hidden from all eyes, or more rooms than one, or spilling over every bench surface, or the garage filled to the gunnels and yes, even storing stuff in the boot of your car or just in the car!

Just remember one thing, don't forget 'be kind to thyself'.

This makes the task of addressing and dealing with the situation and issue more achievable.

Break it down into easy doable segments and give yourself permission to take time.  Not every one has the same energy levels to get things done.  I can type fast, but my body doesn't move as fast as it once did.  It is all relative.  Being hard on oneself just brings one down and then we achieve less rather than more and defeats the original intention and purpose.

I have found, if I find happiness and laughter in a situation, I get a lot more done.  Go figure.

You may find benefit in listening to your favourite music while purging.

Have a trusted friend over and chat and laugh while purging.

Have a relative help you with the purging, as they may like to hear the stories that come up when an item surfaces that has been long forgotten and is all about your mutual family members.  It then becomes a nice shared experience.

Make the process enjoyable.  You will thank yourself in the end.  Not only will you have a 'good time' and the time passes by without notice.  Afterwards, you will also see that you have achieved something much more in the end.  Even if it is just one small area.  It is one small area done.  Celebrate these and do not allow negativity to overshadow these yet small achievements.

Now I do have to scoot to sort my initial avalanche of 'stuff' to be photographed for others to enjoy eventually via all methods I can think of.

I know that once I do get 'that' job that has my name on it, this process will slow down markedly.  I would like to get as much done as possible while I have this time in which to do this.  As we all know, time waits for no one.

Now, before I go, I asked myself, hence this entry, 'Have I achieved what I set out to achieve, when I pushed myself to write this rather open and honest account on what happens when inheriting an overload of hoarding and blog about it, that I first started some three years ago, on what has been, at times, a very uncomfortable seven year long journey?'.

Well, I can only speak for myself and can say now looking back over these last 7 years, I have for myself, achieved much and the process of putting it out there has had the desired result with some unexpected happy benefits as well.

I now have vastly less stuff than when I first commenced and feeling lighter, brighter and happier within myself.

I have made new connections that I would never have dreamt of.

I have even helped others, even though no one would know it.  Others who have felt so bad about themselves and their individual situation.  Many have come up to me quietly whispering that my blog has made them realise that they are not alone with this issue and that has helped them cope better and start to deal with the issue their way.

That was more than I could have hoped for.  To help not only myself, but others.

Now, all I have to achieve is to make it not such a shameful thing to happen to anyone, under whatever circumstances it takes shape.  And I mean the majority of situations of 'too much stuff'.  With those few percent who have found themselves  in so deep in stuff that they cannot move to do basic daily functions and infestations have started or have become a health issue, then, that is a job for specialists and medical professionals.  I am just thinking of those who have found themselves in a situation that has overwhelmed them, but not to the point where they are no longer able to save themselves.

Unfortunately, the shame and stigma attached to this very issue drives people underground and to be quiet and so do not seek help or share their plight, which in turn only makes the issue fester more in most cases and get out of hand into overloading the person who only needed a lending hand to help them from getting to this point in time in the first place.

It is not the end of the world when you find this happens to you.  It is just bloody awful to go through.  But, it is also as I said not the end of life as we know it.

Take heart and take pride in your achievements no matter how big or small they are.

As for me, this blog has been a blessing on all levels.  I know I am slowly making my Mum proud as this was a job she couldn't get done due to illness and felt very badly for leaving it all to me to cope with.

In my case grief and situations slowrf me down, but thankfully not forever.  I got down, sure.  But, I also didn't beat myself up continually over a situation that I could not stop.  Nor should anyone who finds themselves neck deep in horror.

I made that decision to be kind to myself.  I made another to take my time, but give realistic and achievable deadlines instead.  I decided to use humour to get through.  I highly recommend it.

There will be tears.  But why not some happy tears in the mix.

Just take your time as I have and be kind to yourself and make the task and journey as pleasant as possible.

That is all that matters.

In the end, it will be you who reaps the rewards.  

Ciao for now,
Anita

NO MORE ROAD BLOCKS JUST SPEED BUMPS!

Hi Guys,

Well, here I go again.  Been some time since I last entered anything on my blog.  I originally set this blog up to help keep me motivated and not allow long periods of time inbetween purging and decluttering.  Such a good plan one would have thought.

When I first started down this very long journey, the following images pretty much spell out how I felt.

 


Since my newfound resolve, I have come to realise that I am running out of time to finish off this decluttering and what with all these constant never ending road blocks, it is no wonder I feel I will never get to that other end.  Unfortunately, the carport still needs repairs and looks like being done in the next two weeks.  Hope so, as each time a storm with fierce winds comes along, it does my head in and raises my stress levels just watching anxiously with each and every 100km+ gusts.

Talk about worry.  But wait I must.

Normally, when things were not going right in the past, I would view it as a complete road block and my spirits and positivity end up in the toilet.  Now, however with this mind shift and attitude, I view it as just another speed bump along the way.  I have come a long way.

   


It does not take a nanosecond to sort through all of ones massive clutter issues overnight.  It takes as long as it takes and for me it has taken a very long time as I did grapple with my emotions that I had 'not' been dealing with for so very long.  When you find yourself in a cycle of horrors and for you it may not be clutter, but, for example, you have a food obsession etc., that you subconsciously use to bury what may be your problematic issues.

Whatever the issue, the work to deal with and sort it out is much the same.




  


My particular recent speed bump for me that caused delays and any further progress was due to the simple fact that I fell ill.  At first it started out as a virus that within a week turned into acute bronchitis and by the time I got to the Doctors it was fast turning into pneumonia.  I could not breathe.  I was gasping.  But with my son still at school and fast approaching his final exams, I could not go to hospital as the Doctor advised and being that was not possible was ordered to complete bed rest.  I could not do anything.  I could barely move.  I slept, but could not sleep.  I cancelled all commitments and apart from the trip to get meds and food I rested completely.  I am finally starting to feel better after 3 weeks of this having to swallow these massive horse tablets for the last 2 weeks, has finally done the trick.  I have turned that corner and on the mend once more.

This is how I felt.                        

    


   


Yesterday, a dear friend came over to help me sort through a small book shelf in the front entrance of my home.  This had been arranged just before I fell ill.  I was going to cancel, but my friend assured me we would go slowly as I am still not 100%.  With her help and later my sons at least 70% was in the rubbish, bagged up for an op shop and a load of Latvian books boxed up to go where they could be further utilised.  My photo albums now have a home and the books are all in order.  It didn't take long and I was indoors and warm.  My friend was so wonderful as this was the first time she had seen my home and no judgements, just pure understanding and got what happened to get me where I am and how much I have achieved even with a heart condition.

This is how grateful I feel for all those who have helped me along the way and those still hanging in there with me.  I would not have gotten so far without their collective support.  In Latvian it is 'Paldies' for 'Thank You'.

   

                   

    


My daughter and her now fiancee came over to fix the exercise bike to work once more so I can use it for my new health regime.  It isn't the best, but it will do the trick for it's intended purpose.  Along with my son, they turfed out some more items onto the front nature strip for the hard rubbish that is on this weekend.  I was feeling somewhat frustrated that I was not able to make full use of this years hard rubbish more due to being ill.  However, the fiancee now has a 'you beaut ute' that he can pick up any such bigger hard rubbish and take it away.  Still a shame, but such is what happens in life.  I would rather get well than the alternative.


 

 
Haven't got my act together to get the Rocker Recliner, HomeMedics back massage pad, Ottoman (and still have to find the make) and this huge dragon soft toy for sale on some sites till now due to being ill.  Will get my son to take better photos in order to start selling asap.  These I took earlier, but need better shots in order to put them up for sale.

1970s Leather Rocker Recliner.

   



Leather Ottoman from the 1960s.

  


Toy Dragon and thinking about selling the Vintage 'One Armed Bandit' that I purchased years ago in Long Beach Trash & Treasure in Los Angeles.  Apparently, the owner whom I bought it from was an Agent for several Actors and one that he looked after was Anthony Perkins in his latter years.  Wish I had the provenance stating as such.  Still fully functional with US coin with bells and whistles.
   


For a speed hump that came my way, I feel I have dealt with it very well.  With such wonderful family and friends who only want for me to enjoy my home, how can I miss.  What more could I wish for.

I had to work on my mantras and self talk to keep on going.  Some of the following did just that.

  

                      

I am glad I have finally gotten to that place and 'shift' in my mind.  It took far too long to happen, but such was my journey.  I had so much thrown my way and on top of that, I kept sidetracking myself as well with other voluntary non essential commitments.  I am just very glad now that I am getting there in the end.  The trick now is to get the job done quickly.  As my health improves and energy levels rise and a little help from those who have offered, I should be done with most of the surface stuff by the end of this year or early the next.



The following is a good guideline to follow, but I doubt I will ever throw 'everything' out.  I have gotten better at culling now, but do lapse on the odd point... or two... or item... see... not so easy peasy to do... but you do get better at it... the culling that is.



   
Reason being is simple.                

 


In the meantime, I keep focusing on breaking old habits.




The following is symbolic of my new health pathway.




After all, this next quote is my intended destination.



At times, I must keep on reminding myself of the following and often.




Then there will be all my Mum's letters in Latvian to go through.  But that is a whole other story altogether.

Cheerio,
Anita