NOT OUT OF THOSE WOODS JUST YET!

Hi Guys,

This is a photo of my sister not long before she passed away from an aggressive cancer wearing the cap I had just bought her to help keep her warm.  Have posted this before I am sure,  She was rarely sad for long, but this cancer got the better of ever her normally high spirits and positivity.  I just want to dedicate this particular entry in her memory.  She was beautiful inside and out in every way.  Too many tears shed so far and very much still in my heart and soul.

Also, here is an update on where I am at before the witching hours and crunch time comes.  The trouble is not all is clear cut.

My advisor who I saw just recently said my gut instinct and what I knew were spot on.

There is good news and bad news.  

Bad news is my instincts are right.

Good news is my instincts were right.

Outcome may not be so flash or crash hot.  Time will reveal all.  And that will be in no time at all.

What does this mean, well, if I sell I am stuffed.  If I stay, it will be one very very and did I say very rocky road till May.

Why May?

Well, that is when the fixed term part of the loan ends and I can then convert to an interest only loan, which will help slightly.

This still means it would be a struggle, but I could get to my desired sale date rather than a premature one.





I am now in a constant state of flux and literally feel like I have millions of juggling balls over my head ready to drop on top of me and bury me deep with in that mountain.

I have done some Uber jobs, but this is not lucrative enough to get me across that line to safety within the given time frame.

Here I am on one of my recent jaunts over looking Bass Strait and Wilson's Prom in the distance.








So I have had to be creative.





I started selling my goods on several facebook sites, which, is proving to be not very successful and have diverted my attentions to eBay instead, and even though still a hit or miss affair, depending on the item and who sees it, at least I have had a 40% rate of items being snapped up.  Mainly the wool with only one lot left to go.

Surprisingly, Dad's tools and some other odds and sods did not sell.

So, in true style, I will take said items, plus more to the Oakleigh market this Sunday to sell them there.  I know the market guys who sell tools will descend on me the minute I start setting up to see what I have and will offer to buy them off me for a lesser amount and on sell themselves.  I don't mind at all.  That is what commerce is all about.  At least more of the stuff will be out of the house with some dosh to go towards helping me save my home.


                                           


This is from my market days last year with Marcel showing me the ropes of the 'do's & don't's' of market etiquette.  And all along, I thought I knew how to barter.  Not on your Nelly.  This little grasshopper learnt much from these market days.

Thanks to Marcel.

                           

I need the bigger ticket items to sell faster than they are, which are not, and now need to take them to an auction place that specialises in that item pronto.

I am now in an even bigger mess than before due to all this activity, and one friend has offered to come and help me get more sorted to generate more sales.

At long last I am on a roll now.





For the moment my time has run out and only hope that I have enough time to do what I need to achieve.




All this 'action' has dented one of the smaller debts, but not enough by a long shot.

Fingers crossed that I can make a miracle happen as my future depends on what I am currently doing.

Hoping, praying, lighting candles, positive affirmations and trust that the Universe will guide me in the direction I need to be.

My big sis had this particular affirmation up for herself and also for me to see daily, in her hand writing, a long time ago.  Just found it the other day and have put it up where I can see it each morning to be reminded to think, in order to become,

"TRUST IN THE DIVINE.  TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME."

Wonder if she meant this Divine?

Other such wisdoms from Sylvia are guiding me through this torrid time.  And she is very much my guardian angel.

                     

It is in how we deal with the adverse moments and situations that we are presented with that will determine their outcome.


   


Fear of the unknown can be scary.  Overload of difficulties can over take you.  But, I have to turn that fear around into a positive.


        

Have decided to rise rather than bury my head in the sand and live in fear.  No more.

This is partly due thinking about my beautiful big sis Sylvia and what she always believed in, which was very much at the heart of what we both believed in.  That there is always hope, always another corner to turn, which then will reveal another opportunity or experience.  The wonder of what will be rather than the fear of the unknown.

I do rather like the saying, 'what will be, will be' and use it a lot.  One of my longest friends just rolls her eyes around when I say it.  Now a standing joke that we can laugh about rather than be annoyed.

Paldies, Sylvia for being you and being my big sis.  Even though I miss you each day, you are still making an impact and watching over me with Mum and Dad's at your side.  It is in my dreams you remind me of all these things in order to keep going.




Another of Sylvia's all time favourites was the Serenity Prayer.


  

And she always loved positive affirmations and many of these she would often use.  Using words like abundance, attract, release, surrender are some of the one's I remember well.


  


                           

         




          

This is just so Sylvia.

      


This one we both had on our fridges.  I bought this one for her.  Or did she buy it for me?  No matter, as we both ended up with the same things many a time.  We were not just sisters, we were soul sisters and had each others back.  We used talk long distance all the time and our phone bills would be through the roof.  But that didn't stop us.  We were in tune for nearly 99% of our time while she was here.  We had one fight in all our lives.  And we got through that also.  We shot for the moon and we sure got the stars.  Miss you bliss and shooting for those stars Sylvia.

Sylvia loved so many things and the only best way to show you is in a visual way of but a small selection of what she took great pleasure and joy in.

     

             

   

 

       

      

                           

I have been at the end of a rainbow once literally.  Time to find my next rainbow for my next chapter.

And make it a happy ending this time round.

The next few weeks to a month or so, I will know where I am placed and where I will or wont be.

Only a matter of time now.

In the meantime, my way of decluttering has vastly altered, but the end result will be the same no matter which way it is done.

 I have to keep motivated and keep believing that I can get through this.

And it is at these very turbulent times that I have to remember my own advice and that is to keep breathing, stay focused and be kind to thyself.  

Next year is the Chinese Year of the Goat, which some refer to as Ram or Sheep.  I prefer Goat myself.  Astrologically, I am born under the sign of the Goat and here's to 2015, the Year of the Goat to be a better and more positive year.

  



Here's me working.  A pit stop and leg stretch at Inverloch. 

As a last comment, a young lady contacted me from WA (Western Australia) from where I was born actually about my HHH Blog.  She is doing a paper on the plight of hoarding and a particular initiative being considered by some Councils over there to help those who get into such a bind and what did I think about this.  Did I believe that it would be positive or negative.  I do feel that assistance is needed, but it is in how and what way and by whom it is delivered that is what matters most.  You need people in place who care and have empathy, yet good training and skill sets to assist without further traumatising what usually are broken people.  Going in with stringent rules, threats and big burly men knocking at one's door can scare the life force out of anyone at the best of times, least of all when you are at your most vulnerable.

I do hope she does well with her paper as I see it has such merit and purpose.  At this stage it may even get published in the paper associated to the particular educational institute.

All I like to add is, I hope the authorities, if they do implement this, give considered attention to the intent and application of that help to be kind  and measured with out scare tactics rather than by fear, threats and fines.  Kindness and non-judgement is what is required if they truly wish to help those who have found themselves and in most cases through no fault of their own, knee or waist deep in 'stuff'.

Good luck to you by the way.  She will know who I mean.

Even though many do not comment on my blog and it appears to have very few read it.  My stats state otherwise.  Some of the countries and the reach worldwide has even astonished me.  And I thought no one would bother reading it.  This 'stuff' business is truly world wide.  To those who are currently going through the deepest darkest period of this, do take heart that you are not alone and not the only one.  Also, in time and effort, you do slowly climb your way out from under that overwhelming weight of the 'stuff'.  I, personally, have found that by talking about my inherited problem that has helped me more rather than made it worse.  I am glad now that I did not hide my situation.  Instead, I have found that I have been of some support to others who needed it most.  They know who they are and they know they are supported.  Take your time and don't be too hard on yourselves.  

Now I have to go and get the last part sorted in order to pack my car for tomorrow's market day.

Wish me luck and fingers crossed that there will be things bought.

Ciao for now
Anita (still worrying until I am across and into the safe zone)