Again and again and again... I have had to learn patience!!!

Hi Guys,

I have found out once more what it feels like to wait.  That is eBay in a nutshell.

After you have set yourself up you then have to set up the shots for what you are selling and decide how long and make sure that the end date is a date where it is suitable for those bidding on said items to do so and so on.  You have to constantly check for emails, messages and queries and respond.  Then once the winning bid goes through you then encounter even more obstacles to manouver around and then there's PayPal.  Well, that just adds another layer to your 'to do' lists.  Like as if you don't have enough to do already ... that one invariably doesn't get done all that quickly anyway!

But after having gone through the process I am now set up.  I didn't do brilliantly and I certainly cannot buy that car as yet.  Nonetheless, the diamonte shoes went into a cyberland bizo as I put down no PO Box addresses and this person wanted it to and there has been no ended of tooing and throwing.  But I am sure that will be settled soon enough. 

It so happened that that blog had the most hits!!!  Was my story?  Or the diamonte shoes?  Or my daughters feet?  Never the less it proved a huge hit.  In the end some guy in another state just had to have them.  Don't ask as a woman never tells...

Anyway, then I had placed 3 items of clothing.  Two were bought with one not.  Didn't make anything but am learning as to what is sellable.

The learning curve is steep ... very steep indeed.

I haven't had much time to do any decluttering, but now September has come along and our annual hard rubbish day has finally been and gone as you know and there has now been even more going out this time round.

Here is just some of what got thrown out this time round that really wasn't worth giving to anyone.  However, the 2 bikes went first followed by an oil heater with the lead cut off for safety reasons.  What anyone would want with that just makes me puzzled, but it went as soon as I put it out. 

I mean, where do these people come from.  You turn your back for just a second and 'poof' an item is gone!  Just like that.  Total stealth if you ask me.

I wasn't the only one getting rid of rubbish.  The council only do this once a year and the suburb just looks like a tip for about 2 to 3 weeks as some people put it out wayyyyy too early and others the weekend you are told and then the council don't pick it up that week and leave the whole mess for others to ravage and make the street look even worse by the time the guys who do this work come along to retrieve it all. 

I am more used to a council that provides this service 3 to 4 times a year on call, which means the streets don't look like a tip.

On top of that my lawn mower guy came to cut the grass while my pile was there and I now have a nice unmowed patch where all the junk used to be while waiting to be collected!

But still looks way better than it was!



Voila!!!  All gone.

But wait there's more!!!

And this is where the patience comes in. 

I deal with one lot at a time. 

One segment at a time. 

One shelf at a time. 

One drawer at a time. 

One box at a time. 

And with each one done comes a small victory. 

More out of the way.

More gone. 

More dealt with. 

But, boy o boy, would I love for this process to go faster. 

Must find more patience...

This picture will show where I am heading next.  One of my mega piles. 

This mega pile are boxes of stuff most will be given away and some items good enough to eBay.  But it must be dealt with and gone by Christmas.  It is time.

Same pile with the POV from the porch!

Kind of makes you want to go and run away now doesn't it.  But, just think, I had at least 20 times more of this 'stuff' that is now GONE! 

It is what you no longer SEE that is important. 

That is why one who has found themselves in a situation of being classified a 'hoarder' be it of their own doing or inherited and in my case both and it was the inherited that tipped my over the edge that you find you don't give yourself credit when each and every items does GO OUT FOR GOOD. 

Because, there is more that you can still see.

It is quick and easy to forget the small victories.  But it is extremely important to add these up and remember how far you have travelled and how much you have achieved.

Here is the other mega pile! 

Being brave now showing you lot these photos.

This lot I have shown you guys has to be either thrown out, given away or eBayed. 

My rule with this lot will be if I need to keep something and take it inside ... two  items inside must then be taken out of the house to replace what is being taken in, so I don't add to what I have there already and lessen what I have inside.  Clever.  I will do this. 

I call this the 'Addis' factor.  It is a suggestion one of my friends made to me long long time ago and now finally being implemented.  Hey, Addis!  What do you think of that?

Even though I have downsized from 2 and a half houses to maybe 1 and a quarter, it still is alot of 'stuff' for me to deal with. 

I still after tackling this lot have the last areas to go through:- 

The small shed. 

The lot (not much) at the side of the house. 

And last, but not least the Attic. 

Then a serious look in cupboards and shelves that I haven't tackled and then my job is complete.

I make it sound like a piece of cake don't I now.  But it is far from that. 

I have to keep reminding myself that little by little I am getting there.  That light at the end of the tunnel isn't so small any more. 

I have to keep reminding myself not to be ashamed of having found myself in this situation.  That in time I will be out from under all this 'stuff'.

I have to keep my sense of humour and know that in the end I will still be able to do just that.  Laugh freely.

Just as long as I keep finding my 'patience' that is.

Cheers guys

hope you stick at it also

from not so impatient Anita

ps... another huge bag of clothes is out the door tonight as well...  gotta love that! And again ... chime in any time. 

Why Hoarders are shy and try to hide!

Hi Guys,

Well, I haven't written for a while now, as I have just started a new job! 

Finally, after 5 months of looking I now have my dream job.  After I catch up on debts, I will be able to 'pay' others to get my work of decluttering done more easily and with less stress involved for me.

This new Dashboard 'blog' look is very useful.  I get to see how many have read my blog and an overview from where! 

At first I thought I was writing to myself only.  Now it appears there are those out there as far as Alaska reading about my efforts to declutter my 'stuff'. 

Why I can say we are a shy lot --- and those who know me know that I am NOT shy --- but when it comes to my clutter I do get very 'antsy' for a better word, when someone says they are coming to visit me!!!  Now that sends shock waves right through me and into such a dither that I just want to go and hide away somewhere till it is all over.  They don't know that it was double trouble and has taken me over 5 years to get to this point in my decluttering!  All they will see is the 'mess' and not the 'progress'! 

This is where I find myself 'explaining' my situation.  Invariably, all say 'don't worry about it'.  But, hey, guys, get real... we will still worry and fret.

It even happened to me in reverse the other day as I was to meet up with friends and ended up with me visiting a friend who was at another friends house.  The friend's friend was saying 'no no no' in the background (we were on a mobile/cell call) and thankfully my friend said she was not keen on me seeing how her 'home' looked.  To which I said 'she should see mine'!!!  I did end up there and I did manage to settle her nerves, fears and worries and told her of my situation and she relaxed.  And to be quite honest we were on par and just goes to show there are many of us out there struggling in silence alone, which is so unnecessary. 

This is why I decided to not hide any longer.  We can find comfort and solace in communicating with each other who understand the struggle.  Instead of hiding, we should come out bold as and help ourselves and each other without the shame and judgement that is always there in the air lingering like a bad smell.

Why I also say we are a shy lot is some have found me on facebook and communicated with me directly their horrendous problems that would be difficult to overcome.  Yet, not one person has commented on my blog directly.  I can understand this as that would then highlight that you may have the same issue.  I decided long ago to not worry too much about what others think and let it as they say in comedy's 'let it all hang out'!

Till then I lived in shame and horror against judgement about my plight and situation by those who were judging without knowing the full story.  This is human.  This is normal. This is what we ALL do, even me.  One day I will be brave enough to place photos of my progress... those photos that I have dared to take.  Like as if there is no evidence then no one will be the wiser and I can easily fool myself and whitewash it much more easily that it never really existed.

So if you do feel so inclined to chime in, whether you have a struggle with 'stuff' or not, please do.  As this is a forum to help each other where all judgment is left out of the equation.  Not one person has ridiculed me for writing about my journey.  If anything, I have had only pure support, which has helped me enormously.

So please try not to be shy.

Onto my next efforts, which is that I have a 'hard rubbish' collection the local council organises once a year where I live. 

My adult daughter will help, but lord knows in what state she will be in seeing she only got in around 3am. 

My teenage son is to help also.  And again lord knows in what state as he is still at a 'sleep over' at a mates place overnight and that usually means one cranky dude rocks up.  This time he is bringing a mate along to help as well.  So two cranky dudes.  Oh what fun.

My saviour will more than likely be the last minute offer of help from a longtime and dearest girlfriend. 

I am sure between the sleepyheads and the two of us shall fill the nature strip (curb for those in the US etc) in no time.

Then I have to get the yard ready for tree lopping and clearing.  It is all taking shape.

After getting the weeds in the front yard removed, surprisingly people in the street began smiling and commenting as they walked passed my home.  All very friendly all of a sudden! 

Also, a few of my friends felt compelled to tell me they drove passed my place as they no longer recognised it!  Now I do think that is going too far... no matter how funny it is... no all in good humour.  At least this means I am making progress, as slow as it is.

Now all I have to do is kill the grass, clover and wondering dew and after a while, now thanks to my new job, get a crap load of mulch to suppress the regrowth.  I have 'Wild Iris's' to mass plant and they should clump out for a low maintenance garden bed in our dry aussie harsh climate.

This shot was taken not long after the weeding of the front and side.  If you take a careful look under the carport you will see what is left to be sorted through.  Not ideal as it is cold in winter and one does not feel like sorting out in the elements, which tends to halt my progress.  Even though I look like that british show from years gone by, 'Steptoe & Son', under the carport, it is the only area I have to store the 'stuff'.  At least it is all in one place now.  But there is more inside to be dealt with as well... the carport is not the only area to be dealt with by any stretch of the imagination.
 
Wish me well with the 'hard rubbish' today that I will be dealing with shortly.  Will try and take a photo as a momento to remind me that I am 'getting there'.

Happy decluttering everyone and will check in soon with more updates.

Cheers to one and all
from one 'getting' very happy Anita

How fast can a month go by - very!

Hi Guys,

Well well well who would've believed that this month would go so fast.  I have not done a scrap of work in my decluttering, which really is appalling.

Shame on you, I hear you say!  Well, yes, but like I have said before, LIFE has it's plans as well and loves just getting in the way of such well-intentioned ones at that.

I have been looking for a paying part-time job for some months now and have finally got that position.  Luckily, it is my dream job.  Due to the steep learning curve and training I will be going through, my days will be long and busy for some months to come.  It is essential that I put my entire focus into this new position at the very beginning if I want my performance in carrying out this wonderful job to be of a high standard and continue well into the future, it will be head down and bottoms up.  Once I 'bed' down all the huge volumn of new information into my memory banks, I wont be so tired and will find my new 'routine' that will allow me to do all my other projects, within the major one called 'Decluttering'!

My daughter has gone overseas and I did intended while she was gone to sleep in her room to work on my own bedroom, which hasn't happened!  The sleeping has.  But not my bedroom!

Today, I do have some time along with part of tomorrow.  So all wont be a total loss.  It's an opportunity that I shouldn't let go by, no matter how tired I feel.  And because I have this job, I can now feel even more confident in throwing out, giving away or donating more of what is in my very small bedroom!

I do have to find out when the next hard rubbish is on and believe it is soon.  Will need to organise some big burley bods to come and shift the yard rubbish onto the front nature strip and then maybe throw a snag on the BBQ at the end as a thankyou.  Again, with this new job I will be able to afford to get the front and backyard into order and liveable once more.  Ah, the freedom of cash flow.  Kashing!  I can see the dosh already flowing through my fingertips. 

I am so grateful to have this job as it will now speed up my process of decluttering. 

You usually find when you are working you tend to do more.  Funny, but true.  I will say this now and hope that in writing it here, that it will come true.  But, I do foresee several areas sorted by Christmas! 

There, I have said it out loud for all to see.  Hmmm, now I've gone and done it.  I'll have to do it now won't I?  Ah, nothing like a challenge made to one self.  I should take photos of the areas in mind to keep for Christmas time.  Let's see if I am brave enough to post them here with the after shots after Christmas!  Time will tell if the job gets done and as to how brave I am.  We shall see.

I did finish Corinne Grants book about her journey with all her 'stuff''.  Now that was interesting.  Alot of what I had already written she had written exactly the same in areas of her publication.  Now that is spooky.  All 'us' people who hold onto stuff 'sound the same'.  Truly spooky.  It was like she had read my blog before I wrote it.  But how could she... her book was already published.  And I certainly had started my blog before a friend lent her copy to me.  So, there is something more to this 'keeping stuff'' than most would realise.

One thing is for sure.  It isn't an easy journey to travel for anyone. 

Corinne's book was a very interesting read with helpful solutions.  But I felt she rushed the part where she finally turned her corner to confront her 'stuff''demons.  I wanted more of her banter at that particular time and place where she found herself.  I felt jipped!  However, I did get her point.  The futility of it all.  The plight of others.  When you stop looking within and starting realising what is happening around you, can at times, have the desired effect that it had for her.  But, I wanted more.  More of just that moment.  We all know how difficult this journey is on the way there.  But not much about that moment when it hits you as to how to finally deal with it, once and for all time to come. I wanted to read about the new found strong emotions it took to 'get it' and the process to keep it once you 'got it'.  And how you need to maintain your 'thinking and space' the way you see it in your minds eye if any!  In other words, the end few chapters felt rather rushed after the leisurely way she shared her youth in detail and I felt this area could've been fleshed out some more and quite frankly deserved it.  Other than that it was a good read.

Her slog after having that realisation finally dawn on you, as to how to deal with the overload, took about a year in her case, as I understood going by the book. 

For me it wasn't so 'night and day' or 'black and white'. 

There was a final moment, where I too also turned that corner, but I had been hovering at that corner for some time with little bits of 'moments' coming my way to finally push me to go around rather than sneak looks and turn that corner.  For me it has taken more years to get there and hopefully it wont take too many years to complete the task. 

Each of our journey's will vary.  But as long as you keep trying to search for your own unique individual key to get there, you will get there in the end.  If you continue to do just that, you will find that space that you desire in the end and keep it that way.  Including, having a life and enjoying it at the same time.

Off now to work on my bedroom. 

No more delays, no more excuses. 

Maybe, a cuppa tea before I start!  To allow me to contemplate where to begin.  You know this is not to delay.  You don't believe me!  Well, you will just have to trust I mean what I write and write what I do... well, nearly ... mostly ... ah, bugger it ... just go do it .....

Chookas to you all
The journey continues
So till next time
TTFN from one very relieved and overjoyed Anita!


ps...  oh happy dayz... oh happy dayz...  now sing it out loud!  OH HAPPY DAYZ...

Full circle!

Hi Guys,

As I said, I was going to get the last of the boxes from my neighbours garage over to my place. 

Sue, my buddy, who was the first to help over 4 years ago now to pack up the 2 bedrooms filled to the brim so I could move in quickly to be with Mum to look after her 24/7 in her fight against cancer.  It was Sue who helped me pack up the 2 rooms along with Mum sitting in the corridor watching and checking what we were doing.  This process took awhile as Mum had to tell me the story about each item, who it belonged to, the event attached to it and what provinance it had to our family.

There I was in the garage last Saturday, realising that these were the very first boxes that Sue and I packed together with Mum what now seems like all those years ago.  Talk about emotional. 

We got the items over to my place and I knew that even though it wouldn't take long to sort through it, it was still bittersweet that we were now full circle.  Sue and I took these boxes to May's and now here we were bringing them back.  I didn't plan it that way.  It just happened.

There are now only 6 items of large pieces of my own personal furniture left.  I have given all the rest away to others who would more than likely never be able to afford these pieces of furniture.  At least I know they are well used and appreciated.

On top of all this I have been weeding the front garden, which had run away from me.  John who came to do the job had done one fantastic job along with my and Zigis's assistance.  Now to mass plant some hardy plants and heavily mulch and the front yard will look well kept once more.

As for the last of the boxes, well, apart from the 6 pieces over the road, all my stuff is finally all in one place for the first time in 5 years!

I think I can safely say we have arrived at the hump of the load of 'stuff'.  If only I could make headway by Christmas, I then would be one very happy woman.

I would like to enjoy my family home before I have to sell.  Well, that is the plan.

Now I have to make sure I go through the boxes and not just let them sit there.  There is that danger as this has pricked up some emotional parts in me.  Even though you know your loved ones are gone, for those who hold onto 'stuff' this then can be made an attachment to that.  I do not want to be bogged down ever again and have to make sure I do not dawdle in sorting through these particular boxes.

I don't think I am in danger of that and more than likely is why I am writing it down here to force me to not dwell, but to move forward as I have been doing.

You cannot and I mean cannot take all this 'stuff' with you.  All you can do is leave the good stuff and not ALL the stuff to loved ones.

Mum knew what she had left me.  It was Mum and I who sorted through her Mum's place that took the best of a year to do taking 2 to 4 days each week to achieve it.  No one else in the family was willing to help us so we slogged on together regardless.  She didn't mean to leave me in such a mess, but cancer robbed her of her time and plans.  Never leave it as you just never know what is around that corner called 'time'.  Some things you just have to do there and then.

Now I have reached my 'hump', it is all uphill from now on.  Or is that downhill?  Let's see how I do and how long I take!  This is my challenge to me.

Cheers for now
Anita - who now has to pull her finger out!

And getting closer to being 'unloaded'.

Waiting for warmer days!

Hi Guys,

Well, the cold can certainly put a dampener on getting anything done.  Especially if it is outside one has to get things done!

I have taken other new activities on that get in the way of my task of decluttering, but one that in the end will help me with gaining much needed energy required to achieve my task of decluttering.  Yes folks, I have joined a gym!  Don't fall over you read it right. 

I have worked under the carport to remove some rubbish and more clothes off to the brotherhood recycle bins.  Along with that have also started to spruce the look of the place to get ready for the sale of the house in 2013.  The first area to be tackled was the front garden bed that really needed attention as the photo below shows... it truly was a disgrace... I kept the garden together for 3 years and in this last year it just got away from me.

Here you will see the front and most of the side deweeded.  Next is to replace my very sad letterbox that nearly isn't a letterbox.  Ah, the jobs never finish.

So loads of new projects to tackle.  Who says I overload myself?  Oh, that would be ME!

It is difficult to get motivated in this Melbourne cold winter weather to get out there to get the work done.  This weekend my girlfriend Sue is coming over to help me bring back what's left of my Mum's boxes for me to go through from my neighbours garage.  Soon all my Mum's stuff and my gear will be finally in one spot only and not all over Melbourne. 

I am hoping to get the bulk of this work done by Christmas, but looks like I will have a job that will probably slow that down.  This is a good thing as with the job will come much needed funds that I can then pay others to get certain jobs completed in a more timely fashion than I ever could.  At least that is my theory.

At least life is not boring and now that I have sorted out my ratbag side of the family, as in removing myself from the equation, I can now get on with the job at hand unencumbered of their angst and judgement.  Ah, the freedom.  Just like fresh air.  You can't get enough of it.

To turn a page like that takes time to get to, but I can highly recommend it.  My heart is finally getting that holiday from stress that it so deserves.

You may wonder why I mention all these things.  Well, it colours how you cope and how and when you get things done and to a large extent ends up effecting your health.  Decluttering is a stressful action for alot of us and to have added stressors thrust upon you just makes the situation even more worse and can compound in ways like effecting your health.  In my case my heart.

It wasn't easy to get to that place and to finally let go as it involved members of my family, which I hold dear to my heart.  But a few were active in making my life more stressful than necessary and the only way around that was to get out of it altogether.  Now that I have cognitively done so, I have laughed, I have slept better, I have not cried as much and most of all I feel more relaxed within myself.  Sure I have lost some family members, but look at what I have gained.  I have gained 'me' again and the road to better health and more than likely the ability to finally get on top of all that has held me back.

To those family members I have let go I still hold within my heart, but just only the good times.  If they ever one day want a relationship with me and that is 'if ever', then for me it will only be possible if they enter into it without the condemnation and judgement of the past.  You can't lose horror.  You have to remove yourself from the horror.

To be released in such a way has really helped in the decluttering side of things.  I view things more clearly.  I am able to decide without angst or intrepidation.  It really is a relief.

Life goes on regardless whether we like it or not.  Why not make life work for you rather than against it!

For some this journey wont take as long as it has for me.  And for others even longer.  But all the pain, tears and worries have been not for nought and very much worth the tricky journey.

One thing I have done is be true to myself.  The other one thing I did that was a negative was dwell for too long in that negative.  Never again.

Now if anyone knows anyone who is hard up and needs a working lawn mower, please let me know as I would be happy for mine to go to a well deserving home.

I am now in a place that I see the joy in the process.  Now all I have to do is get the energy to hurry it all up!!!  Getting old is not for the faint hearted was said to me once and now I have a glimmer of what they meant by that.

So farewell from a more settled 'me'.

Cheers
Anita who is literally shedding the baggage, but still very much tired...

In a blink!

Hi Guys,

Been over a month since I posted anything about decluttering, get rid of, purging, tossing out, throwing out, selling or giving away of all my worldly stuff.

To put it bluntly, I have been too busy with organising the Wrokdown gigs and frankly way too cold to get motivated.  Along with the fact that I have finally started at a gym in my quest to improve my health.  Once my health has improved and I have lessened my clutter load I will be one very pleased gal.

That being said it now has to continue to be done.  The declutterng that is.  Along with all the things and duties that I have had on my plate I had a personal 'family' moment (crisis) that now has made my task of decluttering all that much easier.

I have been persona non grata with my immediate family for the last 4 to 5 years.  This is through no fault of my own, but thrust upon me by my Mum before she died due to her Will.  Without going into the nitty gritty's  I have been tarred, feathered, shunned, ignored, called a liar and blamed for what someone else decided.  And the 2 people who placed me in this position apologised to me just days before they died for what they were about to put me through and the other for what they did to me.  Life and families.  Never easy.

I have tried in one direction of the immediate family to heal the rift, but 3 years on to no avail without any effort from their end either.  I see no point in continuing with this endeavour as the attitude is well entrenched and I do not care to surround myself with person's who think so lowly of me of which is based on perception and not fact. 

Life is way to short to be toxic like that and not good for one's health, wellbeing and peace of mind.

This has now been 'put to bed' on my part and will now venture forth with a clear view of life with the freedom that it affords me.  Now all I have to do is get what is on the exterior to catch up with how I think and feel. 

As for the stilleto shoes - they did go to a new home.  Phil from NSW just had to have them.  And I could understand.  I also sold some more clothes, but being the end of financial year it was a bit hohum and slow to go.  Out of 4 items 3 sold, but no profit to be had.  Just broke even.  EBay is not looking crash hot in helping me to get on top of things.

I have regrouped and will sell items at times when there is a market.  Like my hats which will be put up for sale in September just in time for the Spring Racing Carnival. 

As for sorting, it is so cold now that it is very uncomfortable to do.  In light of this it is off to the gym instead.  May as well make use of the time in a positive way. 

Well off to have a cuppa tea and then the gym...

Chookas
Anita who still grapples with her 'stuff'.

Letting you know...

Hi Guys,

Just so you know have had my first item on eBay.  How excitement!!!

Here are the little beauties...... aren't they just gorgeous......

I chose to go with a pair of Stiletto diamonte encrusted very very high heeled shoes in Aubergine... very sheek.  Any way, the Auction finishes tomorrow.  Have had some interest and it looks like they are just sitting and watching... no bids so far.  How nerve-racking!!!

A couple of bods asked for photos with feet in them!  I hope they don't have a foot fettish!!!

Here are my daughter's feet modelling said shoes...

With all the set up palava one has to go through to get the first item on eBay you already feel like that is the victory and one hasn't even sold anything as yet.  Let's hope all the effort is worth it.

This is me (below) setting up the shots for some of the items.  It's all about the lighting!!!  Thanks to Kezzah and her new studio.  Is it still Addis, Addis & Addis?

Tomorrow guys... fingers crossed.

If they don't get sold - it is orff to the Sallies (Salvation Army) they go.

From now on it is '...PIX AND OUT...' sold or not... out they go.

Well, this was a quickie after all... chat soon... jobs to be done... pictures to take... better be careful of what I sell...

Chookas all
Anita
an almost one Stiletto pair lighter!